Dazed and Confused
"I must admit, I am confused, Frieda."
"Why is that, Captain - and might I just add you are looking particularly handsome this morning? In a brotherly, asexual amoebic way of course."
"Why thank you, Frieda. I do my best. Well now, I was reading the blog of that good friend of yours, Carolyn McCulley..."
"You were reading Carolyn's blog? Oooh I am so excited! I just knew you would appreciate her Godward encouragement to single Christian women all over the world to be content with God's most wonderful and gracious gift of singleness."
"Um - well, you see - I have a bit of a problem with it. You know how Carolyn talks of singleness as a gift?"
"Yes, of course, it is a most wonderful and gracious..."
"Anyway, Carolyn calls singleness a gift, yet at the same time she says: 'prolonged, unwanted singleness is a form of suffering'..."
"She never did!"
"I am afraid so, Frieda. So you see, I have a problem with this as it implies that God will give us gifts that are not good. In Matthew 7:9-11, Jesus says: 'Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!' So by calling singleness a gift, yet at the same time acknowledging that it makes us suffer, Carolyn is in effect saying that God gives us gifts that are more like stones and snakes, than bread or fish."
"Hmm...well maybe the stone is a diamond then - and don't we ladies love our little rocks!"
"Er, I don't think that is quite what Jesus meant Frieda. But anyway, there is more. Carolyn also admonishes married people for 'boasting in a ring' if they happen to ask a single person if they never wanted to get married. This is hardly boasting, but merely an obvious extention of her very own theology. Married folks cannot be blamed for assuming singleness is as desirable as marriage, when Carolyn goes out of her way to make out it is a gift."
"I will need to check on all this Captain, and get back to you. It does concern me that Carolyn now seems to be saying that protracted singleness causes suffering. She may be experiencing the gift of hormones at the moment. Maybe she will write a book telling us how to be content with it? I can just see it now: 'Did I Kiss Mood Swings and Irrational Behaviour Goodbye?"
"Ah, the gift of hormones. Yes, well, ahem, mercifully the Lord spared us men from that particular spiritual gifting. Good day to you, Frieda."
"And a mighty fine day to you, Captain."
"Why is that, Captain - and might I just add you are looking particularly handsome this morning? In a brotherly, asexual amoebic way of course."
"Why thank you, Frieda. I do my best. Well now, I was reading the blog of that good friend of yours, Carolyn McCulley..."
"You were reading Carolyn's blog? Oooh I am so excited! I just knew you would appreciate her Godward encouragement to single Christian women all over the world to be content with God's most wonderful and gracious gift of singleness."
"Um - well, you see - I have a bit of a problem with it. You know how Carolyn talks of singleness as a gift?"
"Yes, of course, it is a most wonderful and gracious..."
"Anyway, Carolyn calls singleness a gift, yet at the same time she says: 'prolonged, unwanted singleness is a form of suffering'..."
"She never did!"
"I am afraid so, Frieda. So you see, I have a problem with this as it implies that God will give us gifts that are not good. In Matthew 7:9-11, Jesus says: 'Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!' So by calling singleness a gift, yet at the same time acknowledging that it makes us suffer, Carolyn is in effect saying that God gives us gifts that are more like stones and snakes, than bread or fish."
"Hmm...well maybe the stone is a diamond then - and don't we ladies love our little rocks!"
"Er, I don't think that is quite what Jesus meant Frieda. But anyway, there is more. Carolyn also admonishes married people for 'boasting in a ring' if they happen to ask a single person if they never wanted to get married. This is hardly boasting, but merely an obvious extention of her very own theology. Married folks cannot be blamed for assuming singleness is as desirable as marriage, when Carolyn goes out of her way to make out it is a gift."
"I will need to check on all this Captain, and get back to you. It does concern me that Carolyn now seems to be saying that protracted singleness causes suffering. She may be experiencing the gift of hormones at the moment. Maybe she will write a book telling us how to be content with it? I can just see it now: 'Did I Kiss Mood Swings and Irrational Behaviour Goodbye?"
"Ah, the gift of hormones. Yes, well, ahem, mercifully the Lord spared us men from that particular spiritual gifting. Good day to you, Frieda."
"And a mighty fine day to you, Captain."
posted by Captain Sensible at 2:16 PM
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