Debbie Maken on Men, Women and Marriage
Captain Sensible writes: Just a few extracts here from Debbie Maken's latest blog article. Telling it like it is.
"The modern trend of single men drifting in and out of churches is symptomatic of life patterns of the modern male to drift through life and not believe that he really needs to commit to anything in particular, but always keep his options open. (I do not mean this last statement to apply to all men, but a serious reflection of the afflictions facing our Christian brethren)"
"Let’s face it, twenty or more years of preaching the so-called “gift the singleness,” making those who desire marriage feel like idolaters, convincing men not to pursue marriage but wait on a cupid-like capricious God, pointing to Feminists for all evils under the sun-- have really worked well in terms of producing marriages for this generation."
"(M)ost men would feel less frustrated if they pursued women who were like them (i.e. equals), and thereby risk a lower chance of rejection...The trick is to find someone with whom to be equally yoked, and yet realize that the time to search is a relatively limited period."
"It is irrational for anyone, male or female, to believe that romantic significant others will not ask for change in some way or fashion. We should count ourselves so lucky that God allowed someone to enter our lives to help change us for the better. The only question we should be asking ourselves is if the change sought is an improvement, and then submitting in love...After all, this is what God wants from us in general — our best effort (i.e. excellence), and God has appointed a wife as a helpmeet so that we can have an invaluable assistant and be our best."
"The resistance I am hearing from a lone few bachelors out there is because someone, albeit a woman, finally had the nerve to say no longer do romantic relationships on men’s terms or women’s terms, but according to God’s objective for marriages forming during one’s youth. And for that, men and women are required not only to present themselves as marriage-ready and marriage-worthy, but to be purposeful from the inception of a relationship."
"Women by their very nature and design instinctively know that they are made for the man. During the Reformation, there was a strain of thought that suggested that women could never have been called to remain single because they were “made for the man,” (I. Cor. 11:9) and because all five characters in the Bible with lifelong celibacy produced singleness were all male. There is a loneliness, a floundering, an unexpressed longing to be whole, that is more acutely felt by women than men remaining single. Single women experience purposelessness; whereas, single men experience a crippled/ maimed life, though many seem to get accustomed to their own hobbling. Therefore, it is not extraordinary that women then are the ones usually demanding DTR (define the relationship). Adam named Eve to establish his headship and help her with her own self-understanding. When a man refuses to define, set out objectives, clarify intentions to his follower, he is ultimately refusing to lead. He is refusing to be a man."
"The dating game is brutal for both sexes, but God has ordained for you, the man, to lead a relationship into marriage. No one is exempt from this charge — fat men, bald men, stocky men, too thin men, good looking, tall dark and handsome men, regular looking average men, and even the occasionally unfairly rejected men. There is someone for every one on the spectrum."
"God has appointed the spouse as a means to bless you, to advance you in this life, and to create heirs of the Covenant. As a general rule, married people enjoy more blessings than singles, including but not limited to better health and more monetary perks. The daily struggle/joy of submitting to one another in love and dying to oneself in child-bearing/child-rearing will produce spiritual development on a scale unparalleled by any other crucible. As Martin Luther said to young men making excuses for not being married at an early age, 'Let him strike out in God’s name and get married.' So, even if you strike out as you strike out, let it be done in God’s name and for his glory."
Amen, Debbie!
"The modern trend of single men drifting in and out of churches is symptomatic of life patterns of the modern male to drift through life and not believe that he really needs to commit to anything in particular, but always keep his options open. (I do not mean this last statement to apply to all men, but a serious reflection of the afflictions facing our Christian brethren)"
"Let’s face it, twenty or more years of preaching the so-called “gift the singleness,” making those who desire marriage feel like idolaters, convincing men not to pursue marriage but wait on a cupid-like capricious God, pointing to Feminists for all evils under the sun-- have really worked well in terms of producing marriages for this generation."
"(M)ost men would feel less frustrated if they pursued women who were like them (i.e. equals), and thereby risk a lower chance of rejection...The trick is to find someone with whom to be equally yoked, and yet realize that the time to search is a relatively limited period."
"It is irrational for anyone, male or female, to believe that romantic significant others will not ask for change in some way or fashion. We should count ourselves so lucky that God allowed someone to enter our lives to help change us for the better. The only question we should be asking ourselves is if the change sought is an improvement, and then submitting in love...After all, this is what God wants from us in general — our best effort (i.e. excellence), and God has appointed a wife as a helpmeet so that we can have an invaluable assistant and be our best."
"The resistance I am hearing from a lone few bachelors out there is because someone, albeit a woman, finally had the nerve to say no longer do romantic relationships on men’s terms or women’s terms, but according to God’s objective for marriages forming during one’s youth. And for that, men and women are required not only to present themselves as marriage-ready and marriage-worthy, but to be purposeful from the inception of a relationship."
"Women by their very nature and design instinctively know that they are made for the man. During the Reformation, there was a strain of thought that suggested that women could never have been called to remain single because they were “made for the man,” (I. Cor. 11:9) and because all five characters in the Bible with lifelong celibacy produced singleness were all male. There is a loneliness, a floundering, an unexpressed longing to be whole, that is more acutely felt by women than men remaining single. Single women experience purposelessness; whereas, single men experience a crippled/ maimed life, though many seem to get accustomed to their own hobbling. Therefore, it is not extraordinary that women then are the ones usually demanding DTR (define the relationship). Adam named Eve to establish his headship and help her with her own self-understanding. When a man refuses to define, set out objectives, clarify intentions to his follower, he is ultimately refusing to lead. He is refusing to be a man."
"The dating game is brutal for both sexes, but God has ordained for you, the man, to lead a relationship into marriage. No one is exempt from this charge — fat men, bald men, stocky men, too thin men, good looking, tall dark and handsome men, regular looking average men, and even the occasionally unfairly rejected men. There is someone for every one on the spectrum."
"God has appointed the spouse as a means to bless you, to advance you in this life, and to create heirs of the Covenant. As a general rule, married people enjoy more blessings than singles, including but not limited to better health and more monetary perks. The daily struggle/joy of submitting to one another in love and dying to oneself in child-bearing/child-rearing will produce spiritual development on a scale unparalleled by any other crucible. As Martin Luther said to young men making excuses for not being married at an early age, 'Let him strike out in God’s name and get married.' So, even if you strike out as you strike out, let it be done in God’s name and for his glory."
Amen, Debbie!
posted by Captain Sensible at 12:55 AM
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