Women "Swamped In Sorrow" Over Barrenness
Captain Sensible writes: Interesting article in The Sunday Times Magazine this week (yep, taken me 'till Wednesday to wade through it!).
Entitled "The truth about gymslip mothers", journalist Lesley White argues that perhaps we, as a nation, shouldn't be so quick to condemn teenage motherhood.
The article doesn't cover the morality of having sex outside of marriage, but rather the writer describes how her attitude towards young motherhood has changed from one of automatic disapproval to an eye-opening of the benefits, particularly compared with late motherhood and the risk of childlessness:
"In the first half of the last century, young motherhood was unremarkable, but then so was young marriage...That has gone, but the sense of omnipotent fertility with which we have replaced it, the faith that science will prevail over renegade biology, means that many women end up swamped in sorrow, having missed their chance. Most of those women would have preferred condemnation as girls to childlessness as pensioners."
Of course, in Christian circles it is the omnipotent God that these women have faith in. But surely, this is putting God to the test? Presuming on Him to just rubber stamp His approval on a situation that is not by any means His will? I vividly recall reading an interview with Shannon Harris (wife of Josh) where she sagely opined something along the lines of God's plan not looking the same for everyone, and after all, Sarah gave birth at 90, so Christian women shouldn't worry about the ticking of the biological clock and just wait on Him...
The reality of course is that Christian women are waiting on their church leaders, not God, and they don't seem in any hurry to do anything, except sit back and let the women in the church put on yet more programmes for women and children.
Meanwhile, Christian women that are "swamped in sorrow" at their approaching barrenness, are scolded for it and told they must be content because it is God's will.
It is not!
With teaching on singleness either absent entirely, or erroneous, the few single Christian men that remain in the church into their 20s and beyond are neither helped, nor encouraged, to find a wife and become paralysed by too much choice, whilst at the same time believing that their perfect woman (otherwise known as "God's best") has yet to land in their lap. Of course, their sex drive is still in full working order, so they end up committing various sexual sins, whilst at the same time leading numerous women on emotionally to expect something that they are not prepared to give, causing the women who are already in pain, yet further grief. And the church leaders are too afraid to say "Boo!" to them! Whatever happened to discipling young men? Accountability? Or does that only extend to scolding the oppressed victims of the church, the single women?
How are we going to put an end to this? The suffering of God's precious daughters at the hands of church leaders, who appear incapable of organising a p*ss-up in a brewery (to, ahem, quote a quaint olde English expression!), has simply got to stop. And remember, it's not doing the single Christian men much good either. Never mind the lost men in the world! Or the Body of Christ's ability to impact our culture with a fighting army of girls!
Perhaps a good place to start is for all those aggrieved to write to their church leader explaining why, in future, their tithes are going to go to organisations that are willing to take the (not unrelated!) problems of the lack of men in church and barren, protracted singleness, seriously. A copy of Debbie Maken's book: "Getting Serious About Getting Married: Rethinking The Gift Of Singleness" could be included.
It seems like that might be the only way to get their attention? Hitting them where it hurts them i.e. financially?
Meanwhile, the Christian women should do what the church is neglecting to do: Outreach to believing men that are alienated from church, by accepting dates and having relationships with them. The majority of men that form the Body of Christ are out there (God doesn't make mathematical errors!), so the women need to find them for themselves.
Result:
Church leaders are made to sit up and listen as scores of women begin placing their tithes elsewhere.
Single Christian men are given a wake-up call, as they see all the cosy "friendships" they enjoyed with beautiful Christian women coming to an end as the women find proper relationships with men who appreciate them.
Single Christian women find husbands and are able to have godly children, thereby fulfilling the creation mandate to be fruitful and multiply, and the churches will once again be full of men, women and children.
With church no longer a women's and children's only club, but actively involved in men's ministries, the men in the world will be able to start attending again.
This balanced ratio of men will bring to the Body the badly needed traits of leadership, strength and courage, and actually begin to make an impact into society instead of merely being a laughing stock.
Okay, okay, maybe things aren't quite as simple as this!
But...it's got to be worth a try hasn't it?
The stakes are simply too high not to.
Church leaders have a huge responsibility to their flock and the lost world, and they are going to be judged on how well they have managed it.
So I guess, if you look at it like that, you would ultimately be doing them a favour too...
Entitled "The truth about gymslip mothers", journalist Lesley White argues that perhaps we, as a nation, shouldn't be so quick to condemn teenage motherhood.
The article doesn't cover the morality of having sex outside of marriage, but rather the writer describes how her attitude towards young motherhood has changed from one of automatic disapproval to an eye-opening of the benefits, particularly compared with late motherhood and the risk of childlessness:
"In the first half of the last century, young motherhood was unremarkable, but then so was young marriage...That has gone, but the sense of omnipotent fertility with which we have replaced it, the faith that science will prevail over renegade biology, means that many women end up swamped in sorrow, having missed their chance. Most of those women would have preferred condemnation as girls to childlessness as pensioners."
Of course, in Christian circles it is the omnipotent God that these women have faith in. But surely, this is putting God to the test? Presuming on Him to just rubber stamp His approval on a situation that is not by any means His will? I vividly recall reading an interview with Shannon Harris (wife of Josh) where she sagely opined something along the lines of God's plan not looking the same for everyone, and after all, Sarah gave birth at 90, so Christian women shouldn't worry about the ticking of the biological clock and just wait on Him...
The reality of course is that Christian women are waiting on their church leaders, not God, and they don't seem in any hurry to do anything, except sit back and let the women in the church put on yet more programmes for women and children.
Meanwhile, Christian women that are "swamped in sorrow" at their approaching barrenness, are scolded for it and told they must be content because it is God's will.
It is not!
With teaching on singleness either absent entirely, or erroneous, the few single Christian men that remain in the church into their 20s and beyond are neither helped, nor encouraged, to find a wife and become paralysed by too much choice, whilst at the same time believing that their perfect woman (otherwise known as "God's best") has yet to land in their lap. Of course, their sex drive is still in full working order, so they end up committing various sexual sins, whilst at the same time leading numerous women on emotionally to expect something that they are not prepared to give, causing the women who are already in pain, yet further grief. And the church leaders are too afraid to say "Boo!" to them! Whatever happened to discipling young men? Accountability? Or does that only extend to scolding the oppressed victims of the church, the single women?
How are we going to put an end to this? The suffering of God's precious daughters at the hands of church leaders, who appear incapable of organising a p*ss-up in a brewery (to, ahem, quote a quaint olde English expression!), has simply got to stop. And remember, it's not doing the single Christian men much good either. Never mind the lost men in the world! Or the Body of Christ's ability to impact our culture with a fighting army of girls!
Perhaps a good place to start is for all those aggrieved to write to their church leader explaining why, in future, their tithes are going to go to organisations that are willing to take the (not unrelated!) problems of the lack of men in church and barren, protracted singleness, seriously. A copy of Debbie Maken's book: "Getting Serious About Getting Married: Rethinking The Gift Of Singleness" could be included.
It seems like that might be the only way to get their attention? Hitting them where it hurts them i.e. financially?
Meanwhile, the Christian women should do what the church is neglecting to do: Outreach to believing men that are alienated from church, by accepting dates and having relationships with them. The majority of men that form the Body of Christ are out there (God doesn't make mathematical errors!), so the women need to find them for themselves.
Result:
Church leaders are made to sit up and listen as scores of women begin placing their tithes elsewhere.
Single Christian men are given a wake-up call, as they see all the cosy "friendships" they enjoyed with beautiful Christian women coming to an end as the women find proper relationships with men who appreciate them.
Single Christian women find husbands and are able to have godly children, thereby fulfilling the creation mandate to be fruitful and multiply, and the churches will once again be full of men, women and children.
With church no longer a women's and children's only club, but actively involved in men's ministries, the men in the world will be able to start attending again.
This balanced ratio of men will bring to the Body the badly needed traits of leadership, strength and courage, and actually begin to make an impact into society instead of merely being a laughing stock.
Okay, okay, maybe things aren't quite as simple as this!
But...it's got to be worth a try hasn't it?
The stakes are simply too high not to.
Church leaders have a huge responsibility to their flock and the lost world, and they are going to be judged on how well they have managed it.
So I guess, if you look at it like that, you would ultimately be doing them a favour too...
posted by Captain Sensible at 4:30 AM
9 Comments:
Christian women in Britain must read http://www.cvmen.org.uk and give them money. Then they must read 'Why Men Hate Going To Church' by David Morrow. Then 'Strength in Weakness' by Andrew Comiskey, a former homosexual who has a very good insight into sexual/gender problems in the western church.
After that, email the Debs Group, and club together to put pressure on every Christian festival, conference and bookshop to promote marriage and BAN teaching that favours 'the gift of singleness', God-as-celestial-matchmaker, 'God/Jesus is your husband/lover/boyfriend', and pro-homosexual relationships teaching.
Then target all the Christian internet dating sites and pressurise them to stop allowing for people to search for 'friends', and for married people to join.
We must have an all-out campaign with a long-term aim of promoting marriage and attracting men to the Christian faith and the churches.
I don't know what planet Mrs. Harris - herself married and a mother of three before she was 30 - is currently residing on, but I haven't seen many 90-year-old women giving birth lately. Nor have I seen many people enjoying the lifespan enjoyed in the days of Sarah and Abraham, et al. This leaves me unable to see much sense in her comment to an interviwer that was quoted above.
In fact, it puts me in mind of those women (such as Elisabeth Elliott and Bethany Torode) who married and had children at a relatively young age, who have publicly stated that some women will have to "sacrfice the desire" to be married and have children. A cavalier dismissal at best.
"We must have an all-out campaign with a long-term aim of promoting marriage and attracting men to the Christian faith and the churches."
Consider the "all-out campaign" begun!
In fact, it puts me in mind of those women (such as Elisabeth Elliott and Bethany Torode) who married and had children at a relatively young age, who have publicly stated that some women will have to "sacrfice the desire" to be married and have children.
Isn't Mrs. Elliott on husband #3?
Bob Sanders
Shannon Harris' naivete is irksome and disappointing, but I'm not surprised that she thinks along those lines given that her husband oversees the church that Carolyn McCulley attends.
Sharon Harris isn't guilty of naivete; she's guilty of callously dismissing the God-given desires of most women. She's spiritualised this by referring to Sarah, as if most women are stupid enough to be patronised in this manner. She's incredibly selfish and deserves a VERY strong public rebuke.
Her 'advice' to women to give up our desire for a husband is pretty much the same as the attitude of liberals, who know very well that liberal churches that support homosexual relationships have a 2: 1 women-to-men ratio. In my experience they don't give a damn about single women trying to find husbands either.
We need to start an international naming and shaming campaign against arrogant, self-centred, sanctimonious nincompoops of both sexes who promote teaching that keeps women from having a realistic chance of finding a Christian man to marry. False teachers must be exposed word for word and asked to repent. If they refuse, they must be driven out of the church for good.
The fact is that if Christian women don't find men in church, some of them will turn to Islam. There have been more than 10, 000 western converts to Islam in the last 10 -15 years, and as many as 80% of them have been women of childbearing age from a CHRISTIAN background. It's obvious that they were looking for a masculine religion. We have our work cut out for us as Christians!
Anonymous - Any idea where those stats come from? I think it would be helpful to have a source if possible?
Captain, the stats on the 2: 1 ratio come from 'Why Men Hate Going to Church' by David Murrow, and from my own study of Peter Brierley's statistical studies of church attendance.
Sorry anonymous, I meant this stat:
"There have been more than 10, 000 western converts to Islam in the last 10 -15 years, and as many as 80% of them have been women of childbearing age from a CHRISTIAN background."
This surprises me. But I do remember reading a recent article that interviewed converts to Islam, and they were all women. Although it may just be that women were the focus of the article!
Regarding the 2:1 ratio, I think that is over all ages. In the UK, the ratio at the age of 40 is officially 4:1 (although I think even that is optimistic!). Plus when you consider homosexuality, porn addicts, men that have issues with women etc. the problem only deepens further!
Incidentally, are you in the UK?
If so, I would really like you to make contact with me via the email addy on my profile.
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