"Marriage Mandate": Count Me In!
Captain Sensible writes: There seems to be a new term that has been coined, with a derogatory tone about it, and that's "Marriage Mandate".
I think it's time, for me anyway, to clarify what I view as a "Marriage Mandate", and why I am proud to be a part of any such movement (if only it truly existed!).
Marriage is worth standing up for, and it saddens me that some Christians -- that would no doubt be very happy to be described as "pro-marriage" -- seem to be wriggling and squirming and trying to find all sorts of ways to distance themselves from taking a clear, firm stance.
Whatever happened to not being ashamed of the Gospel?
Let's begin by saying what, in my opinion, a "Marriage Mandate" is not:
A Marriage Mandate is not saying that everyone must get married. The Bible is clear that there are exceptions: Those that are "eunuchs" or have been made "eunuchs", which I regard as those that are unable to marry due to some very serious disablement that would make marriage impossible. There are also those that have "made themselves eunuchs" by renouncing marriage, which I regard as those that have dedicated their lives to serving the Lord in a manner or situation that would be incompatible with a spouse and family - risking their lives to smuggle Bibles for example.
It is these "eunuchs" that I believe will have a great reward in heaven: a "...name better than of sons or of daughters..." (Isaiah 56:5). God knows the sacrifice that they have made, or had no choice but to make, and in love and justice will reward them accordingly.
There are also times when the Apostle Paul indicates that, in his opinion, marriage would not necessarily be advisable: Times of a "present crisis", where life would be difficult enough as it is, without the burden of responsibility of yet more mouths to feed and putting more lives at risk. This does not apply to us living here in the west today, thank God, but perhaps in some parts of the world today it does?
I think Paul also outlines a general principle that for those who are able to live lives of "undivided devotion" to the Lord, it is a good thing to remain single. We should all have Kingdom matters closest to our hearts, and if we, like Paul, have a supernaturally high degree of control over our sex drives (and I think included in that is an enablement to live without the love, affection and help of a spouse), then that's a good thing. We will have more time and energy to devote to a ministry that God has placed on our hearts, and which is totally all-encompassing.
Okay, so that is why any "Marriage Mandate" does not apply to absolutely everyone.
However, and here's the rub, it does apply to probably 99.9% of single Christians! In fact, living a life of "undivided devotion" to the Lord, probably does include having a spouse and family. The vast majority of us need it in order to live full and fruitful lives for the Kingdom, and here's why.
God ordained marriage as the central building block of his creation.
He commanded it at the beginning, and nothing has changed!
We are made in His image, male and female joined together. How are male and female joined together? Marriage! And God in His generous love and grace, actually made us in such a way that we would enjoy it and each other! We have a sex drive to propel us towards marriage, we have a heart that soars when we are in love. We have a love for our children that defies description and makes other earthly things pale in comparison.
Why else does God consistently use -- in both the Old and New Testaments -- the analogy of marriage to enable us to get a glimpse of His relationship with us?
Is anything else on earth anywhere near close?
So does this mean that all single Christians should just marry the first available single member of the opposite sex, regardless of any attraction or compatibility, other than being in the Lord? By no means, noooooo! Men are not obliged to marry the first available single Christian woman they set eyes upon, and women are not obliged to accept every single man that approaches them! Yes, in Biblical times this probably did happen, but things weren't perfect then either! In the Garden of Eden, we know that Adam was attracted to Eve, and I think it's safe to assume that she felt likewise.
But ever since then, there has been trouble! (Besides, let's be frank here, the attraction enables the conception of Godly children. I am labouring this point slightly because of certain other discussions on the necessity or otherwise of sexual attraction. But assuming we are all adults reading this, what's the alternative to sexual attraction within sexual intercourse? An on-going prescription for Viagra and an endless supply of KJ jelly??? NOOOOoooooo!!!!! Read Song of Songs people! Sexual attraction is important -- it just shouldn't be the only consideration!)
God created man and woman to be joined together in holy matrimony, to enjoy serving God together, to enjoy Kingdom expansion through Godly children to fill the earth, and for the whole family to love and enjoy each other and be salt and light to a world that is desperately seeking this love in a never-ending quest, fuelled by binge-drinking, drugs and one-night stands.
God has showed us a better way!
It is His will.
He commanded it and blesses us in its fulfillment.
Why would anyone voluntarily eschew it?
But here's another rub. Christian women are being forced to eschew it. And then scolded when they express their heartfelt desire, even I would say need, for it.
They are being forced to remain single.
Which, in this rather hastily put together and rambling post, brings us onto another point that had come up on other blogs.
Is "singleness" a sin?
Yes and no, is my slightly politician-style answer!
Let's for a moment liken it to unemployment: Is "unemployment" a sin?
Yes and no, right? If someone is desperately trying to find a job but there is a worldwide recession and shortage of jobs, and if they are trying to do everything they can to improve their skills and make themselves more attractive to the job market, and if they are making every effort that they can to find work, then no, unemployment is not a sin. They are doing all they can do in a difficult climate to remedy the situation, and I would say they deserve all the support and encouragement they can get.
But what if someone is voluntarily unemployed? They are lazy, they feel no compulsion or desire to earn their keep, they sponge off others, they find work boring and would prefer to spend their time doing what they please, then yes, unemployment under those circumstances is a sin. It is rebelling against God's plan and God's design for creation, and they should be challenged over it and held accountable.
And actually, the Government does try to do this!
I would say the same applies to singleness.
Unless they are in the tiny percentage of exceptions outlined earlier, I would say there is a "Marriage Mandate" in the same way as there is an "Employment Mandate".
Christian men that are delaying marriage should be held accountable in the same way, and yes, politically incorrect as it is currently to say that this is primarily the fault of one gender, I would say it is definitely with the male gender that this holds most true of! Rare is the woman, regardless of "career" or anything else, that is making the personal choice not to marry. Ask just about any woman (even in the world, never mind a Christian!) if she had to choose between marriage and a family, or a job, that would say they would prefer to be single and childless!(Assuming she had no other personal issues affecting this i.e. a homosexual orientation, childhood abuse etc)
Which leaves Christian women in a very difficult situation.
There are not enough Christian men to go around (not God's doing, but our "church" failings!), and of the men that there are, a number of them are opting for a life without the responsibilities of a wife and family.
We really need to bless these men as they grow further and further away from their youth. They are like lost puppies, living in a world that they find difficult and bewildering, shying away from responsibility, vulnerable to all manner of temptations, allowing Satan to sow seeds of unrighteousness, seeking refuge and security in further and further "education", and taking their pleasures from scraps of life instead of grasping and embracing it with two strong arms.
For Christian women, particularly in countries such as the UK where the unequal ratio between men and women is very stark, I would say they need to look outside of "church" for a believing man to marry. The men are out there, believe me! Scratch the surface of many an apparently worldly man, and you will see an admission of yes, they know there is a God, but they just haven't been introduced properly yet. They are believers that haven't been "churched" or they have been "churched" as a child or at school, and the reflection of Christ that they have seen has, quite justifiably in many cases, put them off. Caution: I would strongly argue against Christian women getting involved with an unbeliever! It is unbiblical which is reason enough, but even in any case there is absolutely no excuse to do so, when there are so many believing men in the world that are effectively excluded from our churches.You will then bless a man in the world, and actually, you will be indirectly blessing the Christian men, as a little bit of competition for the women will soon wake them up from their Satanically-induced slumber, and it would be good for the Body as a whole, making it more reflective of the bride of Christ that it should be and was planned to be from the beginning.
So, that is why I believe in a "Marriage Mandate" and am only too happy to be called a "Marriage Mandator". If only more Christian men, especially in prominent positions, had the courage to say they are pro-marriage, and not just for those already in marriages but for the masses of singles too!
Please note, I am only speaking for myself in all this, and this is how I personally view a "Marriage Mandate" and why I am totally unashamed to say "Count me in"!
I think it's time, for me anyway, to clarify what I view as a "Marriage Mandate", and why I am proud to be a part of any such movement (if only it truly existed!).
Marriage is worth standing up for, and it saddens me that some Christians -- that would no doubt be very happy to be described as "pro-marriage" -- seem to be wriggling and squirming and trying to find all sorts of ways to distance themselves from taking a clear, firm stance.
Whatever happened to not being ashamed of the Gospel?
Let's begin by saying what, in my opinion, a "Marriage Mandate" is not:
A Marriage Mandate is not saying that everyone must get married. The Bible is clear that there are exceptions: Those that are "eunuchs" or have been made "eunuchs", which I regard as those that are unable to marry due to some very serious disablement that would make marriage impossible. There are also those that have "made themselves eunuchs" by renouncing marriage, which I regard as those that have dedicated their lives to serving the Lord in a manner or situation that would be incompatible with a spouse and family - risking their lives to smuggle Bibles for example.
It is these "eunuchs" that I believe will have a great reward in heaven: a "...name better than of sons or of daughters..." (Isaiah 56:5). God knows the sacrifice that they have made, or had no choice but to make, and in love and justice will reward them accordingly.
There are also times when the Apostle Paul indicates that, in his opinion, marriage would not necessarily be advisable: Times of a "present crisis", where life would be difficult enough as it is, without the burden of responsibility of yet more mouths to feed and putting more lives at risk. This does not apply to us living here in the west today, thank God, but perhaps in some parts of the world today it does?
I think Paul also outlines a general principle that for those who are able to live lives of "undivided devotion" to the Lord, it is a good thing to remain single. We should all have Kingdom matters closest to our hearts, and if we, like Paul, have a supernaturally high degree of control over our sex drives (and I think included in that is an enablement to live without the love, affection and help of a spouse), then that's a good thing. We will have more time and energy to devote to a ministry that God has placed on our hearts, and which is totally all-encompassing.
Okay, so that is why any "Marriage Mandate" does not apply to absolutely everyone.
However, and here's the rub, it does apply to probably 99.9% of single Christians! In fact, living a life of "undivided devotion" to the Lord, probably does include having a spouse and family. The vast majority of us need it in order to live full and fruitful lives for the Kingdom, and here's why.
God ordained marriage as the central building block of his creation.
He commanded it at the beginning, and nothing has changed!
We are made in His image, male and female joined together. How are male and female joined together? Marriage! And God in His generous love and grace, actually made us in such a way that we would enjoy it and each other! We have a sex drive to propel us towards marriage, we have a heart that soars when we are in love. We have a love for our children that defies description and makes other earthly things pale in comparison.
Why else does God consistently use -- in both the Old and New Testaments -- the analogy of marriage to enable us to get a glimpse of His relationship with us?
Is anything else on earth anywhere near close?
So does this mean that all single Christians should just marry the first available single member of the opposite sex, regardless of any attraction or compatibility, other than being in the Lord? By no means, noooooo! Men are not obliged to marry the first available single Christian woman they set eyes upon, and women are not obliged to accept every single man that approaches them! Yes, in Biblical times this probably did happen, but things weren't perfect then either! In the Garden of Eden, we know that Adam was attracted to Eve, and I think it's safe to assume that she felt likewise.
But ever since then, there has been trouble! (Besides, let's be frank here, the attraction enables the conception of Godly children. I am labouring this point slightly because of certain other discussions on the necessity or otherwise of sexual attraction. But assuming we are all adults reading this, what's the alternative to sexual attraction within sexual intercourse? An on-going prescription for Viagra and an endless supply of KJ jelly??? NOOOOoooooo!!!!! Read Song of Songs people! Sexual attraction is important -- it just shouldn't be the only consideration!)
God created man and woman to be joined together in holy matrimony, to enjoy serving God together, to enjoy Kingdom expansion through Godly children to fill the earth, and for the whole family to love and enjoy each other and be salt and light to a world that is desperately seeking this love in a never-ending quest, fuelled by binge-drinking, drugs and one-night stands.
God has showed us a better way!
It is His will.
He commanded it and blesses us in its fulfillment.
Why would anyone voluntarily eschew it?
But here's another rub. Christian women are being forced to eschew it. And then scolded when they express their heartfelt desire, even I would say need, for it.
They are being forced to remain single.
Which, in this rather hastily put together and rambling post, brings us onto another point that had come up on other blogs.
Is "singleness" a sin?
Yes and no, is my slightly politician-style answer!
Let's for a moment liken it to unemployment: Is "unemployment" a sin?
Yes and no, right? If someone is desperately trying to find a job but there is a worldwide recession and shortage of jobs, and if they are trying to do everything they can to improve their skills and make themselves more attractive to the job market, and if they are making every effort that they can to find work, then no, unemployment is not a sin. They are doing all they can do in a difficult climate to remedy the situation, and I would say they deserve all the support and encouragement they can get.
But what if someone is voluntarily unemployed? They are lazy, they feel no compulsion or desire to earn their keep, they sponge off others, they find work boring and would prefer to spend their time doing what they please, then yes, unemployment under those circumstances is a sin. It is rebelling against God's plan and God's design for creation, and they should be challenged over it and held accountable.
And actually, the Government does try to do this!
I would say the same applies to singleness.
Unless they are in the tiny percentage of exceptions outlined earlier, I would say there is a "Marriage Mandate" in the same way as there is an "Employment Mandate".
Christian men that are delaying marriage should be held accountable in the same way, and yes, politically incorrect as it is currently to say that this is primarily the fault of one gender, I would say it is definitely with the male gender that this holds most true of! Rare is the woman, regardless of "career" or anything else, that is making the personal choice not to marry. Ask just about any woman (even in the world, never mind a Christian!) if she had to choose between marriage and a family, or a job, that would say they would prefer to be single and childless!(Assuming she had no other personal issues affecting this i.e. a homosexual orientation, childhood abuse etc)
Which leaves Christian women in a very difficult situation.
There are not enough Christian men to go around (not God's doing, but our "church" failings!), and of the men that there are, a number of them are opting for a life without the responsibilities of a wife and family.
We really need to bless these men as they grow further and further away from their youth. They are like lost puppies, living in a world that they find difficult and bewildering, shying away from responsibility, vulnerable to all manner of temptations, allowing Satan to sow seeds of unrighteousness, seeking refuge and security in further and further "education", and taking their pleasures from scraps of life instead of grasping and embracing it with two strong arms.
For Christian women, particularly in countries such as the UK where the unequal ratio between men and women is very stark, I would say they need to look outside of "church" for a believing man to marry. The men are out there, believe me! Scratch the surface of many an apparently worldly man, and you will see an admission of yes, they know there is a God, but they just haven't been introduced properly yet. They are believers that haven't been "churched" or they have been "churched" as a child or at school, and the reflection of Christ that they have seen has, quite justifiably in many cases, put them off. Caution: I would strongly argue against Christian women getting involved with an unbeliever! It is unbiblical which is reason enough, but even in any case there is absolutely no excuse to do so, when there are so many believing men in the world that are effectively excluded from our churches.You will then bless a man in the world, and actually, you will be indirectly blessing the Christian men, as a little bit of competition for the women will soon wake them up from their Satanically-induced slumber, and it would be good for the Body as a whole, making it more reflective of the bride of Christ that it should be and was planned to be from the beginning.
So, that is why I believe in a "Marriage Mandate" and am only too happy to be called a "Marriage Mandator". If only more Christian men, especially in prominent positions, had the courage to say they are pro-marriage, and not just for those already in marriages but for the masses of singles too!
Please note, I am only speaking for myself in all this, and this is how I personally view a "Marriage Mandate" and why I am totally unashamed to say "Count me in"!
posted by Captain Sensible at 2:41 AM
7 Comments:
Just saw this article on the BBC website.
"The Cossacks play an
increasingly important role
in Russia. Their disciplined
way of life, patriotism, large
families and commitment to
work, are seen by many
politicians as a model that
could help resolve many of
Russia's problems. For this,
they receive support from
the very top."
What do you make of it Captain?
Farmer Tom - Thank you for your comment.
I have however chosen not to post it, because I do not want Christian women reading this blog to feel the same helpless sense of frustration that I felt reading it.
Let me ask you something.
I believe you do go to church, right?
Assuming that to be the case, are you honestly saying that the women you encounter in your church, fit the description of the women you are criticising?
Think about it.
Do they?
Mentally tick them off, one by one, name by name, single and married.
Do any of them match the stereotype you describe?
Your comment is so incredibly frustrating because it is like saying, well, it is the fault of Christian women that they are not marrying because they have chosen to grow three heads!
Christian women do not have three heads!
Likewise, they do not fit the description you are painting.
Come on now, do they?
Think on this please!
Tarquil - I am not sure what to make of it really.
To me, it merely highlights how far we, in the contemporary church, have gone astray from the Bible.
We don't need to look to Cossacks or anyone else to see the founding principles of God's creation.
It's all there in the Bible.
We work, we marry, we raise chidren, we build strong families; and from that basic stronghold, we reach out to and help others in need, ministering love and fighting injustice.
And as we do all this, we keep our eyes firmly on the Lord, and draw closer to Him with every step we take along the way.
It's that simple.
And, apparently, that hard too!
It's counter-(church!)cultural.
You've chosen not to use my comment because .....
I defend you else where because I think you have something useful to say.......
and yes I know exactly what I described, I don't make it up,
I may be brutally honest, but I'm completely honest
Your questions call my integrity into question,
so now it appears for all the world to see that I...lied....made it up....
at least have the integrity to post my comment so you can prove my comments false as it is, you simply call me liar with out proof
maybe my comment is incredibly frustrating because IT'S TRUE
More specifically, what do you think of government doing more to strengthen and encourage marriage?
Farmer Tom - I am not calling you a liar.
I did not post your comment because I find your perspective extremely warped with no basis in reality, and I did not want my readers to feel frustrated by being accused of something they simply are not.
Farmer Tom, you are extremely keen to advise single Christian women on what they need to do.
Perhaps you will allow me to offer you a little advice?
Find another church!
Unlike the problem of singleness, which is widespread and only too real, perhaps your church is unique in being full of women who are only too happy to reject marriage in favour of dedicating their lives to barren spinsterhood?
If your observations are true, then you really need to find another church, as something very strange is going on there!
Any other church will do!
Tarquil - My concern is not so much what Government is or isn't doing to strengthen or encourage marriage.
My concern is what the church is or isn't doing to strengthen or encourage marriage.
In my opinion, some good work is being done to strengthen marriage, but virtually nothing is being done to encourage marriage.
In fact, the church seems to be quite active in the area of discouraging marriage:
Inventing a "gift of singleness"
Chastising Christian women for "making an idol" out of their desire for marriage and children
Making Christian men feel it is wrong to be proactive about finding a wife
Issuing dire warnings like "It's better to be single than to marry the wrong person"
Allowing an imbalanced ratio of men and women to go unaddressed...
etc. etc.
What are your thoughts Tarquil? (Bear in mind though that I do not publish every comment I am sent if I feel it is unhelpful, as Farmer Tom is only too aware!)
Post a Comment
<< Home