Prayerful petition for change: The Bad Samaritan
Frieda Fruitcake writes: Apologies dear sisters and last remaining brother in the church, for my recent absence. I became aware of a very grave sin that I was harbouring, and having searched the depths of my hearts, I realised that there was a part of me that...desired marriage! I am pleased to tell you that I immediately took that sinful thought captive, and have been on an extended retreat these past few weeks: praying, fasting and generally beating my ungodly desire into submission. I believe it has gone. Praise the Lord!
Now that I am once again completely and utterly content with being single, I have become aware of the Spirit prompting me about the parable of The "Good" Samaritan.
To call the Samaritan's actions "good" is a dangerous misinterpretation of God's word!
You will remember that the Jew was lying beaten and dying. This was God's perfect will and plan for the Jew's life. A super-spiritual priest walked by and did nothing, wisely refusing to interfere with God's will. He understood that God was obviously using the Jew's experience to mould him and conform him more fully to the image of God.
However, a Samaritan walked by and shamefully felt he knew better than God! He took matters into his own hands and saw that the injured man was cared for and received the help he needed, even paying for him to be looked after even though he didn't know him from Adam!
Therefore I am launching a prayer petition to change the title of this parable to either a) The Bad Samaritan, or b) The Good Priest.
I would have liked to have conducted a phone poll to decide on this title, but given the recent experiences of the BBC, I have decided that this would be unwise.
Instead, I am just going to trust in God to change the title of this parable and do nothing myself.
In fact, I am never going to actually do anything ever again! As everything that happens is God's will, we must never presume to help anyone, or fight injustice, or do any good works... nothing! That way "God's will" will always be done unhindered by sinful beings such as us.
Praise God for this new revelation of how bad the supposedly "good" Samaritan really was, and how we must never presume to interfere with God's will, whether it be for better or for worse, in sickness or in health...
Wait! That sounds suspiciously like the marriage vows! I must have somehow given the devil a foothold again! I need to go on another, longer, harsher retreat!
Now that I am once again completely and utterly content with being single, I have become aware of the Spirit prompting me about the parable of The "Good" Samaritan.
To call the Samaritan's actions "good" is a dangerous misinterpretation of God's word!
You will remember that the Jew was lying beaten and dying. This was God's perfect will and plan for the Jew's life. A super-spiritual priest walked by and did nothing, wisely refusing to interfere with God's will. He understood that God was obviously using the Jew's experience to mould him and conform him more fully to the image of God.
However, a Samaritan walked by and shamefully felt he knew better than God! He took matters into his own hands and saw that the injured man was cared for and received the help he needed, even paying for him to be looked after even though he didn't know him from Adam!
Therefore I am launching a prayer petition to change the title of this parable to either a) The Bad Samaritan, or b) The Good Priest.
I would have liked to have conducted a phone poll to decide on this title, but given the recent experiences of the BBC, I have decided that this would be unwise.
Instead, I am just going to trust in God to change the title of this parable and do nothing myself.
In fact, I am never going to actually do anything ever again! As everything that happens is God's will, we must never presume to help anyone, or fight injustice, or do any good works... nothing! That way "God's will" will always be done unhindered by sinful beings such as us.
Praise God for this new revelation of how bad the supposedly "good" Samaritan really was, and how we must never presume to interfere with God's will, whether it be for better or for worse, in sickness or in health...
Wait! That sounds suspiciously like the marriage vows! I must have somehow given the devil a foothold again! I need to go on another, longer, harsher retreat!
posted by Captain Sensible at 4:36 AM
15 Comments:
Dear Miss Fruitcake,
It appears there is a young American seminarian who shares much of your outlook. He is a brilliant visionary who goes by the moniker "Puritan Calvinist." Here is an excerpt from a recent post he made on his blog entitled "20 Theses for a Reformation in Christian Relationships:"
13. God works all things after the council of his will [Ephesians 1:11], and thus, in whatever situation we are in, God is using it for our own good [Romans 8:28]. Thus, even "circumstantial singleness" has a purpose in God's plan to mold us into the children he wants us to be.
14. Because God is sovereign, he ordains both the ends and the means. That includes both whether or not we search for a spouse, and whether or not that search will be successful. No matter what God ordains, it will always be for our good [Romans 8:28].
This is the same young man who pointed out to Debbie Maken on the Boundless blog:
"...some have mistakenly made [marriage] an idol, and that is the reason that God is frustrating the attempts of single people to find a mate in order to teach them."
His wisdom truly exceeds his years.
I hate to play matchmaker (of course, only God can do that!), but I think the two of you could have a tremendous impact as a team on how Christians view marriage and relationships!
If I was one of those heretics who believed that you actually have some control over your marital status, I'd suggest that you send the young man an email immediately. But whether you do or not, God has ordained it either way, so, ...whatever.
Frieda Fruitcake replies: Bite your tongue, young man!
I discern that the enemy is trying to put temptation in my path!
God has obviously allowed you to post your comment, in order to mould me more into His likeness, by resisting the temptation of fine young American seminarians!
Praise the Lord!
(PS: Do you have his email?)
I think often on both sides of the discussion on the whole "singleness is a gift" and it's various spin-off new doctrines, there are essential truths which actually only serve to cloud the argument, because no Christian would disagree with them. That's what gives so many of the pro-gifters the "appearance of wisdom".
Take God working everything for good. That doesn't mean that everything is good. For example, suppose a Christian man fell into temptation and looked up some pornography on the internet. Would that be "good"? Clearly not. Does it mean that being a glamour model serves God's purposes? Well, I think we can safely say God would prefer her to choose another job! Can God still use these things somehow, someway, for good? Well, the Bible seems to me to show that, yes, He can and He does. But that does not mean that either of these things are okay! It reminds me of the passage where Paul makes clear that we shouldn't go on sinning so that grace will be increased, which some in the early church seemed to be arguing! (Will add the reference later)
Also, yes, God is sovereign. But that doesn't mean we don't have personal responsibilities that God wants us to fulfil and Godly principles that we should obey.
So yes, God can use even circumstantial singleness for good, whether in this life or the next. But that does not mean it is a good thing and we should do what we can to encourage men to be proactive about finding a wife, and address the problems in the church that are hindering marriage, including the lack of men in the church body.
"What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase?" (Romans 6:1)
That was what I was thinking of earlier.
Is it a bit like saying, "Well, God can use your circumstantial singleness to work all things for the good, so even though it may have come about through sins (eg. lack of outreach to men by our church leaders? Wrong teaching on singleness that encourages men to passivity?) then don't worry about trying to fix those things. God's working them for good anyway, so there's really no point. Maybe God is glorified even more when working things that are not good, for good."?
Good posts, Captain.
I obviously was having some fun in my above reference to Adam (a.k.a. "Puritan Calvinist") but I actually think he's a sincere and very intelligent guy. We have some serious theological differences, to say the least (he doesn't even think I'm saved....Ouch!). He has a very deterministic view of God's sovereignty that colors his outlook on the issue of singleness. Since he believes that God ordains everything, he balks at any effort to encourage young men to actively seek wives. In his view, God is totally in control of "if," "when," "to whom" and "for how long" we are married, and we can't do anything to change the "script."
You said: "Take God working everything for good. That doesn't mean that everything is good. For example, suppose a Christian man fell into temptation and looked up some pornography on the internet. Would that be "good"? Clearly not. Does it mean that being a glamour model serves God's purposes? Well, I think we can safely say God would prefer her to choose another job!
AMEN! But unfortunately, here's what "Puritan Calvinist" says (bracketed comments are his):
"Calvinism teaches that God ordains the ends as well as the means. Thus, when someone sins...God ordained the ends [their act of sin] as well as the means [their evil desire to sin]."
Yes, you read that correctly: God ordains men's evil desire to sin! {{{ SHUDDER }}} Why would God do that, you ask? For His glory.
This is from a debate I've had with him...
Me: "You and other strong Calvinists have absolutely no qualms about stating that God has planned in minute detail, every wicked, perverse act mankind has ever done, and that even the desire to commit those acts originated in the mind of God. And that He did this for His glory and pleasure. Adam, those ideas do not exalt God, they debase and slander Him. The God of the Bible is holy, loving and good. His ways are higher than our ways, but they're not lower! His thoughts are higher than our thoughts, but they're not lower!"
And a response from his cousin, "RedKnight:"
"Actually last I knew, he does mean that. Off-line I'm his maternal first cousin. We've had discussion regarding the Bible and theology. In one of them, I asked him if he believed that, since God supposedly has predestined every detail of our lives, some people were designed by God to be homosexual. Adam replied in the affirmative. I then asked him if he felt that gays/lesbians were going to be sent to Hell anyway. Again he said yes. I asked him why, and he told me that it was to bring God glory."
So, God would have ordained the man in your above scenario to look at pornography, and he could not even desire to do otherwise. Likewise, the woman appearing in the porn could not even desire to choose anything else to do with her life. It was all unalterably established by God's eternal decree.
Scary stuff.
I'd like to address the two verses he used to show that God ordains everything, Romans 8:28 ("all things work together for good") and Ephesians 1:11 ("works all things according to the counsel of His will"). I don't have much of a background in Greek, but here is a translation of Rom. 8:28 by a pastor and theologian I greatly respect who has taught Greek and Hebrew at his church for about 35 years:
Rom 8:28 should be literally translated this way: "And we know that He [God] works with those loving God, with those called according to [His] purpose all things for good."
[Greek: Oi[damen de; o{ti toi`" ajgapw`sin to;n qeo;n pavnta sunergei` eij" ajgaqovn, toi`" kata; provqesin klhtoi`" ou.]
I would rather translate it like this: "And we know that God works with those who love God, with those who are the called according to His purpose all things for good." ...The phrase "works with" is translated from sunergei`. This word is found 5 times in the NT. It is always translated "works with" except in Rom 8:28.
In other words, God will "work with" us to turn the negative circumstances in our lives -- even those that are self-inflicted -- into good, at least relative to what they would be if we weren't abiding in Him. However, many Christians are taught that this verse means either, a) everything that happens is "good," or b) everything fits into a mysterious "plan for good." I don't believe either is true.
As for Ephesians 1:11, the passage in which this verse appears is talking about our salvation, and I believe it is referring to corporate election. In other words, when we trust in Christ's sacrifice for our sins, we are baptized by the Holy Spirit into the Body of Christ, which as an institution was predestined by God before creation. We are chosen "in Him" (verse 4). It doesn't mean that some people are predestined for heaven and others for hell; Or that some are predestined to get married and others to be single, for that matter.
Sorry for the lengthy post. I just feel so strongly that the way we view God and how he operates in our lives has significant consequences for practical matters like the formation of Christian marriages, which we need many more of.
Thanks for your input, Paul.
I think I would be right in saying we agree that whatever emphasis or interpretation we put on Romans 8:28, it still does not abdicate our personal and corporate responsibilities to at least attempt to right wrongs.
So I guess I would summarise as follows:
1) God is good.
2) We should trust God with a childlike faith.
3) When we see something that is "not good", we should make an effort to fix it. (This doesn't mean not praying about it too of course, and listening for God's voice to guide our actions!)
This is my take on the whole contentment/ idol of marriage thing. I think it’s really important to distinguish between contentment (or otherwise) with a situation, and contentment (or otherwise) with oneself.
It is quite right for single Christians that would like to marry to acknowledge that they are not content to remain single and to actively and prayerfully seek to do something about it. This is about contentment with a situation. And that, according to Scripture, is less than ideal, so it is right not to be content with it if our heart’s desires are telling us otherwise.
That is not the same though as being content with oneself. If I am not content with myself, who I am and how God made me, then I am very unlikely to make an attractive marriage proposition! It is not uncommon for single people (not just Christians, far from it…) who do not feel content as individuals, to surmise that a partner is the answer to all their woes, and were they just to find themselves a husband/ wife, then all would be well. Now that is making an idol out of marriage.
To the first anonymous - Thanks for your post.
I agree with a lot of what you are saying. But I disagree with your definition of what constitutes "making an idol out of marriage".
But I will write more on this later!
Thanks to the anonymous, who sent in this wry comment:
"Question about Adam's wisdom exceeding his years ... are we measuring chronological age against IQ? Perhaps it does exceed, then."
For some reason, I can't help but feel compassion for Adam. For that reason, I would prefer this discussion to focus not on any particular person, but rather views, and the root causes of those views. There are many Christians like Adam that are doing a lot of harm. And harming themselves in the process.
C.S. said:
So I guess I would summarise as follows:
1) God is good.
All the time.
2) We should trust God with a childlike faith.
Yes.
3) When we see something that is "not good", we should make an effort to fix it.
Amen!
BTW, am I the first (non-anonymous) man to post on this blog and, if so, do I win a prize?
Anonymous, regarding your post as to what does, or does not, constitute making an idol out of marriage.
Is it possible to "make an idol" out of feeding the hungry?
Is it possible to "make an idol" out of loving your neighbour?
Is it possible to "make an idol" out of reading Scripture?
Is it possible to "make an idol" out of worshipping God through songs of praise?
I only ask these questions because I am not sure it is even possible to "make an idol" out of doing something that God wants us to do anyway.
If someone becomes so committed to feeding the hungry, that they are in danger of burning out, then there are other cautions I think that are more appropriate, like reminding them that God knows it is good to rest, or that Jesus at times withdrew to be by Himself.
And if someone becomes so keen on singing worship songs that they begin to annoy the people they live with, it may be advisable to remind them that they should prefer others' needs to their own, and maybe they should give them a bit of peace and quiet already!
Do you see what I am getting at? In terms of doing something that is pleasing to God, I don't think we can "make an idol" of it. However, wisdom, consideration for others, additional responsibilities etc. might be a more appropriate reminder to keep things in a degree of balance.
It is true that at certain points, particularly in a woman's life, she may have a burning desire to marry. Most likely, this is related to the biological clock, and it is not "making an idol" but rather the way she was created, and her physical body and emotions are craving to do what God designed them to do.
Let me again give another example (and sorry, it might be a little crude!). Suppose you are bursting to go to the loo. And I mean bursting! You can hardly bear to think about anything else except how long it is going to take until you can get to the nearest toilet! Are you "making an idol" out of your bladder? ;-) No, it is just the way your body is made, and you have reached a certain point where a bodily function is desperate for relief!
In the same way (although over a slightly more extended period!), I think the times in a woman's life when she is most likely to be accused of "making an idol" out of marriage, are just the times when her body is telling her that now would be a good time to reproduce and the body simply can't hold out for that much longer.
To go back to your post, the examples you gave are again indicative, in my opinion, of another issue rather than "making an idol" out of marriage. If we are uncomfortable in our own skin, as I think the French describe it, then the root cause may be a self-esteem problem.
Also I am not sure about how common it is for a woman to feel that a husband would be "the end to all their woes". I think most women have more sense than to think they will never again have any problems in their life, so long as they marry! However, having said that, being single is a major problem, and solving that one problem can make a tremendous difference to the quality of that person's life, and especially with regard to marriage and a family, it's the core of their human nature. Again, another silly example for you, say if someone had an awful, nagging, gnawing toothache. By going to the dentist and solving that one problem, it doesn't mean that they will never feel pain ever again. But, boy, will it make a major difference to their life to be rid of that constant ache!
Finally, I think you are right about the need to portray a generally happy disposition in order to attract a mate. It's one of the pitfalls of the dating system, that generally speaking, women need to keep up some sort of pretence that it's all about having fun and, gosh, marriage is the last thing on their minds! We are, I think, beginning to challenge this mindset anyway, and I know that often when a woman does say to her date that actually she would like to get married and have a family (within maybe a conversation about ambitions or goals), then rather than run a mile, most men find it refreshing because - here's the news! - they want it too. It's just that society has conditioned women to feel nervous about saying they have any ambitions that are not career-related, and men are conditioned by society to extend their adolescence as long as possible.
Of course, our church culture is doing this too, which is a complete and utter nightmare of a situation for what is supposed to be the Body of Christ.
Sorry for this long post. It's not an easy thing to address, and the whole "contentment" issue is a very thorny one, which I think I am going to have to return to in another post sometime soon.
But one final plea is, please, let's give single Christian women a break! I despair at the way they are being treated by the church at the moment, it's absolutely shocking. I think I am going to start a new society: the RSPCSCW - The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Single Christian Women. ;-) (To those readers outside the UK this may not mean anything, but I should say we have the RSPCA to prevent cruelty to animals, the RSPCC to prevent cruelty to children etc. and I think we now need a new one for single Christian women. They are the King's daughters, and I really think a new Royal Society would be entirely appropriate!)
We are being terribly cruel at the moment, and inflicting huge amounts of spiritual abuse. Ridding single women of the accusation of "making an idol out of marriage" is just one of many issues that need to be addressed.
Blessings to you :-)
Paul - Sorry, you are not the first...
But you are still special anyway!
:-)
Great blog! I've come across this "Gift of Singleness" nonsense before. Either St. Paul has been mistranslated or misunderstood, or he was wrong (he wasn't infallible). In any case, this concept is an excuse by people to try and blame God for their singleness.
For most Christians, marriage is meant to be almost as important a vocation as employment. Imagine if employment was treated as some Christians treat marriage: "I can't find a job. I must be trying too hard and idolizing employment! I'll sit at home and pray. If God wants me to find a job, someone will ring up with a offer. Otherwise, He has given me The Gift of Unemployment, which I must bear as best as I am able."
Thank you for your comment Chriss!
Am a bit short of time at the moment, but I would like to respond shortly!
Chriss: I think Paul has been misunderstood - big time!
Have you read Debbie Maken's "Getting Serious About Getting Married - Rethinking the gift of singleness"? It's priceless in its examination of this whole issue, and I highly recommend it as essential reading for all Christians today.
Incidentally, I would suggest marriage is meant to be more important than any other earthly thing, and it's terrible how the church is denigrating it at the moment. It's the bedrock from which almost all adults are intended to reach out to the wider world from. With a shaky foundation like singleness, most Christians are far less effective.
Yes, you're right about the "Gift of Unemployment" being a logical next step!
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