New Post on Debbie Maken's Blog
Captain Sensible writes: I must draw my readers' attention to a new and extraordinarily wise post on Debbie Maken's blog on the subject of stewardship of our bodies, which can be accessed through the Debbie Maken link to your right.
Here are a few tasty chunks, but there can be no substitute for reading her words in their entirety. I firmly believe God is speaking to us. Will we listen?
"Some consider their single status a divine gift, something they should not seek to change, but simply use for the glory of God. There almost seems to be a 'ho-hum, there’s nothing you can do about it' attitude to whether marriage should be pursued, and so we rationalize that God is glorified if we simply trust Him, maintain sexual purity, and participate in a myriad of service activities. Undoubtedly, God does want sexual pleasure to be reserved for the marriage bed, and it is better to do church work than be idle. But which is more glorifying to God--making the most out of a defunct and perhaps unwanted state of singleness, or pursuing marriage, so that kingdom expansion happens through godly marriages and the raising of godly children?"
"Just being single does not uniquely 'gift' a person to serve the body any better than being married. Marriage does not preclude one from hardly any ministries that single people participate in today, if they participate at all. Because singles generally do not engage in service/charitable activities any more than those who are in families, there is no off-setting or counterbalancing to consider."
"The 'gift of singleness' lingo is a quasi-rationalization to make those who would desperately like to be married feel a little better about their contributions; but in the end, this newfangled doctrine creates more problems than it solves."
"God created humans as sexual beings. (Gen. 1:28; Gen. 2:24-25; Matt. 19:11-12; I Cor. 7:1-8). God himself states his objective for marriage in Malachi 2:15: 'Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth.' In Psalm 127:4-5, God informs us that His redemptive plan involves the expansion of godly seed through family life: 'Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.' In Genesis 1:27-28, God himself declares our physical body a resource when He gives us the task of being 'fruitful and multiplying.'"
"Many espouse avoiding marriage because of uncontrollable divorce factors, as opposed to looking at God’s view that the wife was appointed to be a helpmeet, an invaluable assistant to help men to live life well. Many of these bachelorhood driven websites merely see all that can be lost in a divorce, an event that could be predictably avoided through the exercise of wisdom in the initial selection of a mate and by developing mature coping skills to weather the downturns in a marriage. These marriage-neutral men cannot see marriage as a vehicle that is not only for the glory of God, but for their advancement in this life as well. Because of this ... perspective, many of these bachelors suggest merely maintaining the status quo proves to God we trust him more, as if God someday will mystically arrange the circumstances so that we are propelled into marriage."
"This new God of singleness really does not resemble the God found in the Bible. He has been recast as a storybook fairy godmother capriciously waving a magic wand to make marriage just 'happen' whenever."
"Those who do not actively seek marriage show their lack of faith and demonstrate a willingness to be stingy with their bodies and their lives. They actually show their lack of trust in God by remaining single and not following the blueprint from heaven to be fruitful and multiply."
"We so often look at kingdom expansion as 'out there' and not done by having children and discipling them. If the average bachelor takes a wife and raises children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and trusts God’s promises (cf. Deut 30:6; Gen 17:7), and teaches the children to do the same; and if each generation has four children, then in 150-170 years, the couple could have directly/indirectly influenced over 4000 people for Christ. That is very fruitful; that is good stewardship of our bodies."
Now go read the whole thing! It's impossible to thank God too much for Debbie Maken, whose words are clearly sent "for such a time as this"!
Here are a few tasty chunks, but there can be no substitute for reading her words in their entirety. I firmly believe God is speaking to us. Will we listen?
"Some consider their single status a divine gift, something they should not seek to change, but simply use for the glory of God. There almost seems to be a 'ho-hum, there’s nothing you can do about it' attitude to whether marriage should be pursued, and so we rationalize that God is glorified if we simply trust Him, maintain sexual purity, and participate in a myriad of service activities. Undoubtedly, God does want sexual pleasure to be reserved for the marriage bed, and it is better to do church work than be idle. But which is more glorifying to God--making the most out of a defunct and perhaps unwanted state of singleness, or pursuing marriage, so that kingdom expansion happens through godly marriages and the raising of godly children?"
"Just being single does not uniquely 'gift' a person to serve the body any better than being married. Marriage does not preclude one from hardly any ministries that single people participate in today, if they participate at all. Because singles generally do not engage in service/charitable activities any more than those who are in families, there is no off-setting or counterbalancing to consider."
"The 'gift of singleness' lingo is a quasi-rationalization to make those who would desperately like to be married feel a little better about their contributions; but in the end, this newfangled doctrine creates more problems than it solves."
"God created humans as sexual beings. (Gen. 1:28; Gen. 2:24-25; Matt. 19:11-12; I Cor. 7:1-8). God himself states his objective for marriage in Malachi 2:15: 'Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth.' In Psalm 127:4-5, God informs us that His redemptive plan involves the expansion of godly seed through family life: 'Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.' In Genesis 1:27-28, God himself declares our physical body a resource when He gives us the task of being 'fruitful and multiplying.'"
"Many espouse avoiding marriage because of uncontrollable divorce factors, as opposed to looking at God’s view that the wife was appointed to be a helpmeet, an invaluable assistant to help men to live life well. Many of these bachelorhood driven websites merely see all that can be lost in a divorce, an event that could be predictably avoided through the exercise of wisdom in the initial selection of a mate and by developing mature coping skills to weather the downturns in a marriage. These marriage-neutral men cannot see marriage as a vehicle that is not only for the glory of God, but for their advancement in this life as well. Because of this ... perspective, many of these bachelors suggest merely maintaining the status quo proves to God we trust him more, as if God someday will mystically arrange the circumstances so that we are propelled into marriage."
"This new God of singleness really does not resemble the God found in the Bible. He has been recast as a storybook fairy godmother capriciously waving a magic wand to make marriage just 'happen' whenever."
"Those who do not actively seek marriage show their lack of faith and demonstrate a willingness to be stingy with their bodies and their lives. They actually show their lack of trust in God by remaining single and not following the blueprint from heaven to be fruitful and multiply."
"We so often look at kingdom expansion as 'out there' and not done by having children and discipling them. If the average bachelor takes a wife and raises children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and trusts God’s promises (cf. Deut 30:6; Gen 17:7), and teaches the children to do the same; and if each generation has four children, then in 150-170 years, the couple could have directly/indirectly influenced over 4000 people for Christ. That is very fruitful; that is good stewardship of our bodies."
Now go read the whole thing! It's impossible to thank God too much for Debbie Maken, whose words are clearly sent "for such a time as this"!
posted by Captain Sensible at 7:09 AM
7 Comments:
"Just being single does not uniquely 'gift' a person to serve the body any better than being married."
Will someone please tell that to Carolyn McCulley?
Speaking of Carolyn McCulley, she says she and her nieces had "more fun" at the Ritz than people having baby showers and wedding showers? Is it true, is it possible?
Perhaps the nieces had more fun, but Carolyn also? Who would honestly say that they would have more fun taking out their nieces than celebrating their upcoming wedding to the man of their dreams or the upcoming birth of their own baby? I want Carolyn to have a good time during the holidays and create meaningful traditions with her extended family members, but I just don't understand the need to say that "we had more fun" than those who had their own real family to celebrate. Carolyn and her nieces should have real joy not just during the celebration of Christmas but every day. But let's not kid ourselves-- the emptiness of the single life is often most felt at Christmas. The longing for a family of one's own is most pressing. This need should make us get more serious about marriage, not come up with more creative, alternative traditions to assuage the pain.
That's almost like saying that girls weekend getaway to NYC was so much fun that it makes up for all the couples weekends we missed as singles. Yeah, sure we all had fun, had good memories, photographs that do not need to make it into the public domain, but come on . . . one moment in time frozen cannot erase the pain of a missing spouse for years and decades.
Blessings to you and all the other singles out there that are hurting during the holidays. May that pain of unfulfilled longings make you seek out that intended God has for you.
Thanks anonymous for telling it like it is.
Such bare truth and honesty is normally aggressively suppressed by Christian leaders and writers under the cloak of imaginary "gifts", meaningless platitudes and halfway gestures.
They may dull the ache inside us temporarily if we can force ourselves to believe in them, but our entire being is not fooled and cries out for God's natural design.
And talking again of Carolyn McCulley, this unstoppable woman is now offering a “shout-out” to all her younger sisters in Christ to “have faith for the man he’ll become”.
I think she is trying to say that all men need a wife in order to become a better person.
But of course she can’t say that as that would be seen as criticising men and that won’t do.
Oh no, what Carolyn says is: “Unfortunately, many of us try to influence change through the barrage of our words (read: nagging, whining, manipulating).”
There’s no place for women like Deborah (Judges 4) or Esther in Carolyn’s Bible then!
I suppose they would come under nagging, whining or manipulating?
Never mind that men are not purposeful about finding a wife. Somehow it’s all the fault of women: it’s feminism, it’s nagging, it’s whining…
(That’s at the same time as protracted singleness being all “God’s will” apparently.)
Does that honestly bear any real resemblance to the women we see in our churches today?
Or rather are we seeing men that are not seeking a wife in a purposeful manner, or men that are keen to play games with women, enjoy their fellowship, but not commit to any individual one?
Here’s another shout-out to all the younger sisters in Christ:
Please don’t listen to Carolyn McCulley!
Speaking of Carolyn McCulley, here’s something I’ve been wondering – if she is so wrong in her advice and ideas about singleness, why does Boundless.org, a very marriage and family oriented site, continue to post her articles? Some of the first things by McCulley I found on Boundless, so it left me confused. Boundless also publishes material by Maken, whose ideas seem to be diametrically opposed to McCulley. Seems sort of contradictory to me.
Perhaps Boundless’ editorial staff should better choose the articles to post…
Yes, I have wondered that myself.
There is some good material on Boundless; Debbie Maken as you say, and also this excellent article by Alex Chediak:
http://www.boundless.org/2005/
articles/a0001349.cfm
But why they insist on promoting Carolyn McCulley, I have no clue.
Let's get real here.
Carolyn has written a book that includes a chapter called: "Esteeming the Gift."
In it she says there is "a biblical passage that calls singleness a gift. (1 Corinthians 7)”
There isn't.
She then goes on to say: "As a single woman, I have received the charisma of singleness."
She hasn't.
"Ultimately, we are single because that's God's will for us right now," she relentlessly continues.
We’re not.
I could go on, and may well do so another day.
It's a serious matter -- spreading false teaching.
And the otherwise impressive Boundless should think a little more carefully in future about their choice of contributors.
Maybe some letters to the editor will help?
I have often found that a hand-crafted letter, on quality embossed paper, and tailed with the final flourish of the Captain's signature, can change even the hearts of dignitaries!
Let's try that Alex Chediak link again:
http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001349.cfm
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