Beware! The 14th February approaches!
Captain Sensible writes: Yes, folks, we are nearing Valentine's Day. This can only mean one thing. An intensity in contentment lectures if you dare to express any disappointment at not having someone to love!
Ladies and gentlemen, this is no longer acceptable behaviour.
There is nothing wrong with being unhappy about not having someone to love. That's normal, that's the way God made us to feel, that's the way it should be. You're right. They're wrong. It's not making an idol out of love, nor is it leaving God out of the equation.
What is not acceptable however, is feeling unhappy and doing nothing about it. Or, over-spiritualising to the extent that being lazy somehow becomes "God's will" or "waiting on His timing".
Uh-uh. It's laziness and it probably has its roots in wrong theology.
For those in London, there is of course the opportunity to hear something that is actually helpful for a change and meet someone to love, at the Debbie Maken talk on January 27th.
But regardless of whether you meet someone in the next few weeks or not, it's okay to feel lonely -- yes, despite having lots of friends and the "church family" -- because you want someone special to love.
However it's not okay to be lazy, it's not okay to be commitment phobic (guys, that means you!), and it is most certainly not okay to meekly accept an unbiblical contentment lecture!
Once again, instead of turning to a church leader, I am obliged to turn to the wisdom of pop stars, and, once again it is the songwriter from The Feeling, this time a track called Never Be Lonely. I particularly appreciate the line: "They tell me to fight it. But they can b****y well just try it!"
Perhaps that is the answer when the next married father or mother, with three kids, who met their spouse in youth group, and were married by 21, tells you that you need to "be content"?
Oh, alright then, you can show grace if you insist! You're obviously a better man than the Captain!
PS: Calling all Londoners! We're not that rude on our commute to work...are we?
The Feeling: Never Be Lonely
(There is a slight delay in the music at the start of this video. You just need to, ahem, wait on the Lord for a minute there...)
Ladies and gentlemen, this is no longer acceptable behaviour.
There is nothing wrong with being unhappy about not having someone to love. That's normal, that's the way God made us to feel, that's the way it should be. You're right. They're wrong. It's not making an idol out of love, nor is it leaving God out of the equation.
What is not acceptable however, is feeling unhappy and doing nothing about it. Or, over-spiritualising to the extent that being lazy somehow becomes "God's will" or "waiting on His timing".
Uh-uh. It's laziness and it probably has its roots in wrong theology.
For those in London, there is of course the opportunity to hear something that is actually helpful for a change and meet someone to love, at the Debbie Maken talk on January 27th.
But regardless of whether you meet someone in the next few weeks or not, it's okay to feel lonely -- yes, despite having lots of friends and the "church family" -- because you want someone special to love.
However it's not okay to be lazy, it's not okay to be commitment phobic (guys, that means you!), and it is most certainly not okay to meekly accept an unbiblical contentment lecture!
Once again, instead of turning to a church leader, I am obliged to turn to the wisdom of pop stars, and, once again it is the songwriter from The Feeling, this time a track called Never Be Lonely. I particularly appreciate the line: "They tell me to fight it. But they can b****y well just try it!"
Perhaps that is the answer when the next married father or mother, with three kids, who met their spouse in youth group, and were married by 21, tells you that you need to "be content"?
Oh, alright then, you can show grace if you insist! You're obviously a better man than the Captain!
PS: Calling all Londoners! We're not that rude on our commute to work...are we?
The Feeling: Never Be Lonely
(There is a slight delay in the music at the start of this video. You just need to, ahem, wait on the Lord for a minute there...)
posted by Captain Sensible at 3:11 PM
9 Comments:
So much that could be said on all this, and most likely will be...but probably after Debbie Maken's talk.
Just as a teaser though, how about the singleness contentment lecture from a twice-divorced mother of five, who is about to get married for the third time, yet thinks her "seasons of singleness" equip her to be an expert?
Or maybe the priceless case of the grown man who thinks that barrenness is the same as being ridiculed as a nerd at school, and then when challenged, insisted that yes, barrenness really WAS thought to be that bad, and what's more he had studied theology and could prove it!
Or how about the candid admission from a single Christian man that he is afraid to commit to being anything other than friends with women for fear that someone better may come along next, and then someone even better after that, and then someone else, and someone else...
Then of course we have the ever-reliable source of apparent wisdom from the prolific singleness writer, whose current series on preparing for marriage began with the words from one married woman that actually, you couldn't really prepare as each marriage is different. Doh! But instead of taking that hint, this writer has now had to resort to posting such gems as "single women have to remember that upon marriage we will receive a husband." Stunning.
All this and more has been posted on other blogs recently and will be coming here very soon!
Debbie Maken: We need you here NOW! (And we might even confiscate your passport so you can't leave us!)
No! Stay away Debbie! The Lord's precious gift of singleness may be threatened by your heathenous message!
I wish someone could write a book called "Getting Serious About Staying Single". It is simply too sinful to reject God's gifts!
Unfortunately, every other Christian singleness writer has done just that.
Only they used different titles, that's all.
Like there is any such thing in the Bible as the "Gift of Singleness" anyway!
Well, only in the modern "interpretative" ones, like The Living Translation or The Message.
You don't see the "Gift of Singleness" in any traditional version of the Bible.
Instead, 1 Corinthians 7:7 has always been understood to refer to a rare gifting towards celibacy.
How this rare gift of celibacy has -- since the 1970s only -- been transformed into a widespread "Gift of Singleness" I have no clue!
It's very wrong anyway!
As if all single Christians are "gifted" to live a loveless, sexless, childless existence!
"single women have to remember that upon marriage we will receive a husband"
Is that true? I thought marriage meant you got a few flowers and maybe a ring. Are they including a man with the program these days? That would be splendid if it were true.
HA!
"However, after I got married, the biggest surprise was that men don't talk as much as women"
This is also "from the prolific singleness writer" that CS refers to in his first comment.
I am sorry but what planet do you live on that this is a surprise.
What bothers me most though is not so much the plain daft, but more the downright dangerous on there. It is all part of the trendy new teaching that over-spiritualises what God created to be natural and lovely, and which is costing single women a husband and family of their own, and then making them feel guilty for even desiring it. Or possibly undeserving of it, because of sins such as saying they would like to "get married" as opposed to "be a wife."
Anyway, isn't marriage preparation for engaged couples? And shouldn't we just be seeking to become more Christlike and grow in spiritual maturity and life skills anyway, without making it seem like there are tests to pass before being rewarded with a husband?
More wisdom from the blog of the Prolific Singleness Writer:
Women should "pursue/prepare for marriage" (hey, was pursue mentioned before?) by "babysitting, helping with laundry, running errands" for married women.
Men are human.
Oh how busy we will be and how wise we are becoming, as we wait for God to bring us our husbands!
Yes and now we are all supposed to work on being "fully known"
So the deep initmacy that is designed for marriage can be replicated with Godly friends?
Maybe we should have orgies?
Sorry, but really...
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