Is Carolyn McCulley Now A...(Sob!)...Traitor?
Frieda Fruitcake writes: Another trying day on the blogosphere! My painful distress is caused by the apparent seismic shift by Carolyn McCulley on her blog to the so-called "both/and" position with regard to the pursuit of marriage.
This "both/and" position appears to amount to the fact that we need to be fellow workers with God in all areas of our lives, including our marital status. If we are single and desire to be married (as if!) then we need to make some effort ourselves, not just leave it all up to God.
Carolyn speaks as if this was always her position, but that's just not true! Rather, I discern a worrying movement towards The Dark Side.
I stand to be corrected if I am wrong, but was there any such "both/and" position indicated in her popular book?
Let's take a look at some of my favourite, most inspirational passages!
"Ultimately we are single because that's God's will for us right now. That's it. It's not because we are too old, too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, too quiet, too loud, too smart, too simple, too demanding, or too anything else. It's not wholly because of past failures or sin tendencies. It's not because we're of one race when many of the men around us are of another. It's not because the men we know lean toward passive temperaments. It's not because there are more women than men in our singles group. It's not because our church doesn't even have a singles group. Though perhaps these things seem like valid reasons, they don't trump God's will...We are single today because God apportioned us this gift today."
"If God has marriage for me, He will bring it about."
"Shortly after my fortieth birthday, a college friend wondered whether I was really serious about getting married. She wanted to know why I wasn't more proactive about achieving that goal. had I considered Internet dating? I couldn't just sit around and expect it to happen. She was trying to be helpful, to express her care. But her words fueled a slow boil of despair in my soul."
No "both/and" perspective there! Rather, Carolyn writes a whole chapter entitled "Esteeming the Gift", stating that there is a Bible passage that calls singleness a gift, that she herself "has received the charisma of singleness", and she appears to advocate "waiting" and "trusting" for God to "call" her to marriage, should He choose to make all that effort on her behalf.
How wonderful that Boundless continues to commission her as a contributor and helpfully points readers in the direction of said book!
So where has this "both/and" nonsense come from?
This is deeply troubling!
But fear not, dear singleness-gifted ladies and last remaining brother in the church! Indeed, all is not lost.
Carolyn does at least call the idea of a Christian singles mixer "worldly" and warns us -- again! -- about how "searching for a mate can easily slip into idolatry".
She may be shifting over to The Dark Side, but it appears she is being dragged kicking and screaming.
And there is still that book to set singles straight whenever they are tempted to be in the least bit proactive themselves, regardless of whatever funny turn she makes on her blog!
This "both/and" position appears to amount to the fact that we need to be fellow workers with God in all areas of our lives, including our marital status. If we are single and desire to be married (as if!) then we need to make some effort ourselves, not just leave it all up to God.
Carolyn speaks as if this was always her position, but that's just not true! Rather, I discern a worrying movement towards The Dark Side.
I stand to be corrected if I am wrong, but was there any such "both/and" position indicated in her popular book?
Let's take a look at some of my favourite, most inspirational passages!
"Ultimately we are single because that's God's will for us right now. That's it. It's not because we are too old, too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, too quiet, too loud, too smart, too simple, too demanding, or too anything else. It's not wholly because of past failures or sin tendencies. It's not because we're of one race when many of the men around us are of another. It's not because the men we know lean toward passive temperaments. It's not because there are more women than men in our singles group. It's not because our church doesn't even have a singles group. Though perhaps these things seem like valid reasons, they don't trump God's will...We are single today because God apportioned us this gift today."
"If God has marriage for me, He will bring it about."
"Shortly after my fortieth birthday, a college friend wondered whether I was really serious about getting married. She wanted to know why I wasn't more proactive about achieving that goal. had I considered Internet dating? I couldn't just sit around and expect it to happen. She was trying to be helpful, to express her care. But her words fueled a slow boil of despair in my soul."
No "both/and" perspective there! Rather, Carolyn writes a whole chapter entitled "Esteeming the Gift", stating that there is a Bible passage that calls singleness a gift, that she herself "has received the charisma of singleness", and she appears to advocate "waiting" and "trusting" for God to "call" her to marriage, should He choose to make all that effort on her behalf.
How wonderful that Boundless continues to commission her as a contributor and helpfully points readers in the direction of said book!
So where has this "both/and" nonsense come from?
This is deeply troubling!
But fear not, dear singleness-gifted ladies and last remaining brother in the church! Indeed, all is not lost.
Carolyn does at least call the idea of a Christian singles mixer "worldly" and warns us -- again! -- about how "searching for a mate can easily slip into idolatry".
She may be shifting over to The Dark Side, but it appears she is being dragged kicking and screaming.
And there is still that book to set singles straight whenever they are tempted to be in the least bit proactive themselves, regardless of whatever funny turn she makes on her blog!
posted by Captain Sensible at 4:23 PM
1 Comments:
Regarding the worldliness of mixers, Carolyn says this:
"I want much more than mixers. I want radical discipleship that transcends self-centered relationships and calls the Body of Christ to transparent, authentic, New Testament-style life together, each part investing in the other to cultivate a whole-hearted devotion to the Lord."
Er, yeah. But what has that got to do with a mixer, Carolyn?
In fairness, she does advocate the involvement of other people in suggesting possible pairings.
But there is one problem here.
Carolyn goes to a big church. What if someone goes to a small, very local church, where their network is much reduced?
That's when a mixer really comes into its own, I would have thought. Otherwise, couldn't it spell the death of the local church for singles that desire marriage?
Post a Comment
<< Home