The New (just discovered!) Book of Acts II
Frieda Fruitcake writes: I am so excited! I have just been sent a previously undiscovered addition to the Bible, and I can exclusively reveal it here!
(Theologians and Greek professors may email me directly with their questions.)
2 Acts 1
1: And it came to pass that in the years to follow, the disciples stopped being fishers of men.
2: The leaders gathered frequently to chat amongst themselves and discuss important issues like, well, something or other, maybe to do with the church building? And they let their wives put on lots of new prayer groups and book clubs for women.
3: The places of worship primarily became creches and play schools with lots of face painting and toys, and there was much for the older "youth" to do too.
4: The disciples had become scared of the men in the world, and preferred instead to spend their time with other Christians only, so they isolated themselves from other men and were afraid to go out and tell them the Good News.
5: Not many were added to their number daily; in fact, they continually decreased, and soon there were virtually no other men in their number.
6: But they weren't bothered.
Selah.
(Theologians and Greek professors may email me directly with their questions.)
2 Acts 1
1: And it came to pass that in the years to follow, the disciples stopped being fishers of men.
2: The leaders gathered frequently to chat amongst themselves and discuss important issues like, well, something or other, maybe to do with the church building? And they let their wives put on lots of new prayer groups and book clubs for women.
3: The places of worship primarily became creches and play schools with lots of face painting and toys, and there was much for the older "youth" to do too.
4: The disciples had become scared of the men in the world, and preferred instead to spend their time with other Christians only, so they isolated themselves from other men and were afraid to go out and tell them the Good News.
5: Not many were added to their number daily; in fact, they continually decreased, and soon there were virtually no other men in their number.
6: But they weren't bothered.
Selah.
posted by Captain Sensible at 11:28 AM
1 Comments:
oh oh oh! you forgot the newly discovered MISSING LINES to 1 cor 7:9 ! yes Paul goes on to say:
"Brethern what I meant to say is its better to BURN WITH PASSION then get married. oh dear yes. You can really serve the Lord when you are constantly burning with passion with the opposite sex. Of course its a sin so you should burn and well feel guilty about it too! "
1 Cor chap verse 9 1/2
NOT!
In the original Greek --the BURN --means LIKE A RAGING FIRE.
Lets all be honest lads. you all BURN with passion for a woman and you all know it.
I once heard a baptist minister say "just because you burn does not mean its God's will for you to marry"
yeah I guess walking around with a BURNING RAGING FIRE of desire for the rest of ones life will really help you serve the Lord.
Oh yes. And I own an imaginary island in Greece I'd like to sell you too....
George
An Eastern Orthodox brother of yours in the Lord
Captain --you are one of a kind thank you for running this site!
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