"I want to get married"
Captain Sensible writes: Do you find it hard to say those words? Do you think wanting a wife or a husband is something to be embarrassed or ashamed about? Do you think other people will look down on you because of it, thinking you are "worldly" or just maybe a little bit "uncool"? Do you think God will feel that you are not putting Him first, because you are seeking to follow His plan for creation? Do you think it's wrong to want sex? Do you think it's wrong to want children?
If you said yes to any of the above, get down on your knees and repent immediately!
You are following our culture and a vast array of misguided Christian singleness pundits, instead of Scripture.
Try saying these words aloud: "I want to get married". Again: "I want to get married". In front of the mirror: "I want to get married". Say it at least 10 times a day! ;-)
There, now hadn't you better do something practical about it? (I am assuming that you will be praying too of course!)
And ladies, I know there aren't enough men in "church" circles. You need to harass your church leader into seeing sense and organise a men's outreach ministry without further delay. Things have been allowed to slide too long already. Warn him that you are going to send Gordon Ramsay round to sort this mess out if he doesn't! ;-) So in addition to Christian social events, you must also begin to look for a man in the world that believes in God (so you are not potentially yoking yourself with an unbeliever!) but has been alienated by our culture's perception of "church" and encourage him yourself!
Meanwhile, in conjunction with making these changes, remember to be content in the Lord. This doesn't mean having to force yourself to be content with a situation (singleness) that is contrary to His Biblical instruction for all but a very few (marriage). It does mean taking positive action along with your prayers for a husband or wife, and when you are doing all that you possibly can, try to find a place of peace through trust in our Father that His will will be done.
I was struck by the passage in Daniel recently, where his friends are faced with bowing down to an idol, or being thrown into a fiery furnace. Their attitude is a remarkable one: "If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king. But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up." (Daniel 3: 17-18)
We are not faced with the prospect that Daniel's friends were, whereby there was nothing they could do themselves! There are thing we can do, and places we can go, in order to be a co-worker with God for marriage - as we do with regard to employment, for example.
Does this guarantee a wife or husband? No, it means that we rest assured that God will bless our search because it is His will. But "if not", or if it takes longer and is more painful that we would wish, we must still trust that God is good, and is working everything for the good.
But let's make the changes that need to be made too please, people!
Reminder: 1) Outreach to men. 2) Unashamed to admit we want marriage. (Incredible, isn't it, that Christians feel this embarrassment in the first place!)
And for number 2, I highly recommend Debbie Maken's "Getting Serious About Getting Married: Rethinking the gift of singleness". The men that have read it and take the message on board, soon end up married. The women that read it are blessed by the assurance that marriage is God's will and it is our culture and the wrong teaching in our churches today that are causing this protracted singleness. Something that we must work to change.
My prayer for everyone reading this is: May your search be fruitful, in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
If you said yes to any of the above, get down on your knees and repent immediately!
You are following our culture and a vast array of misguided Christian singleness pundits, instead of Scripture.
Try saying these words aloud: "I want to get married". Again: "I want to get married". In front of the mirror: "I want to get married". Say it at least 10 times a day! ;-)
There, now hadn't you better do something practical about it? (I am assuming that you will be praying too of course!)
And ladies, I know there aren't enough men in "church" circles. You need to harass your church leader into seeing sense and organise a men's outreach ministry without further delay. Things have been allowed to slide too long already. Warn him that you are going to send Gordon Ramsay round to sort this mess out if he doesn't! ;-) So in addition to Christian social events, you must also begin to look for a man in the world that believes in God (so you are not potentially yoking yourself with an unbeliever!) but has been alienated by our culture's perception of "church" and encourage him yourself!
Meanwhile, in conjunction with making these changes, remember to be content in the Lord. This doesn't mean having to force yourself to be content with a situation (singleness) that is contrary to His Biblical instruction for all but a very few (marriage). It does mean taking positive action along with your prayers for a husband or wife, and when you are doing all that you possibly can, try to find a place of peace through trust in our Father that His will will be done.
I was struck by the passage in Daniel recently, where his friends are faced with bowing down to an idol, or being thrown into a fiery furnace. Their attitude is a remarkable one: "If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king. But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up." (Daniel 3: 17-18)
We are not faced with the prospect that Daniel's friends were, whereby there was nothing they could do themselves! There are thing we can do, and places we can go, in order to be a co-worker with God for marriage - as we do with regard to employment, for example.
Does this guarantee a wife or husband? No, it means that we rest assured that God will bless our search because it is His will. But "if not", or if it takes longer and is more painful that we would wish, we must still trust that God is good, and is working everything for the good.
But let's make the changes that need to be made too please, people!
Reminder: 1) Outreach to men. 2) Unashamed to admit we want marriage. (Incredible, isn't it, that Christians feel this embarrassment in the first place!)
And for number 2, I highly recommend Debbie Maken's "Getting Serious About Getting Married: Rethinking the gift of singleness". The men that have read it and take the message on board, soon end up married. The women that read it are blessed by the assurance that marriage is God's will and it is our culture and the wrong teaching in our churches today that are causing this protracted singleness. Something that we must work to change.
My prayer for everyone reading this is: May your search be fruitful, in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
posted by Captain Sensible at 4:21 AM
1 Comments:
When people complain about their husband or wife, I join in. "My husband is probably up to know good." I answer, "Yeah, mine too. We haven't met yet and I don't think he's working very hard at it. In fact, where the heck is he? I've been waiting for him to call for years!!"
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