David Murrow: If Jesus had intended women and children to be the primary focus of the church, He would have set up a women's circle and Sunday School
Captain Sensible writes: In anticipation of the David Murrow talks, I began flicking through his book, "Why men hate going to church" again.
So much good stuff in there, but he hits the nail squarely on the head with regard to the primary focus of the contemporary church being women and children.
I have had enough of churches behaving badly: Lazy church leaders, programme after programme of children's ministries (overseen usually by an overly-influential Pastor's wife) and cosy women's meetings to share their feelings (except of course if any of the women are single, in which case the married mothers come down very hard and scold them for discontentment).
How has the Christian faith come down to this? It's become a "living room" and "playroom" faith.
Here are a few extracts from Murrow's book:
"The great majority of ministry in Protestant churches is focused on children, next on women, and then, if there are any resources left, on men."
"It's important to reach young people with the good news, but today's kids-first church is a radical departure from Christianity's historical mission. Keep in mind that neither Sunday school nor youth ministry even existed two centuries ago. In those days, kids were loved, but they weren't the focus of church. Today they are."
"The McDonald's approach feels right to women because it lavishes ministry resources on her top priority: her children and grandchildren...Many studies have shown a sharp drop-off in church attendance as soon as kids leave the nest."
"What's wrong with the women-and-children-first focus of today's church? After all, men aren't very interested. Why should Christians knock themselves out to minister to men? Simple. Because Jesus did. Jesus did not focus His ministry on children, or women for that matter. Jesus' approach was men first...His example is clear: if we want to change the world, we must focus on men...Jesus knew that men play an indispensable role in His body. When men are absent or anemic, the body withers."
A withered body. Isn't that what this focus on women's and children's minstry has created? Isn't it time it stopped?
So much good stuff in there, but he hits the nail squarely on the head with regard to the primary focus of the contemporary church being women and children.
I have had enough of churches behaving badly: Lazy church leaders, programme after programme of children's ministries (overseen usually by an overly-influential Pastor's wife) and cosy women's meetings to share their feelings (except of course if any of the women are single, in which case the married mothers come down very hard and scold them for discontentment).
How has the Christian faith come down to this? It's become a "living room" and "playroom" faith.
Here are a few extracts from Murrow's book:
"The great majority of ministry in Protestant churches is focused on children, next on women, and then, if there are any resources left, on men."
"It's important to reach young people with the good news, but today's kids-first church is a radical departure from Christianity's historical mission. Keep in mind that neither Sunday school nor youth ministry even existed two centuries ago. In those days, kids were loved, but they weren't the focus of church. Today they are."
"The McDonald's approach feels right to women because it lavishes ministry resources on her top priority: her children and grandchildren...Many studies have shown a sharp drop-off in church attendance as soon as kids leave the nest."
"What's wrong with the women-and-children-first focus of today's church? After all, men aren't very interested. Why should Christians knock themselves out to minister to men? Simple. Because Jesus did. Jesus did not focus His ministry on children, or women for that matter. Jesus' approach was men first...His example is clear: if we want to change the world, we must focus on men...Jesus knew that men play an indispensable role in His body. When men are absent or anemic, the body withers."
A withered body. Isn't that what this focus on women's and children's minstry has created? Isn't it time it stopped?
posted by Captain Sensible at 12:10 AM
9 Comments:
Hi *wave*
This is a completely unrelated comment sorry - but I thought it might raise some interesting discussion turned into an article. What do you think about the popular 'women should be pursued, they should never pursue' concept running around the christian church? Do you think this increases christian singleness?
I think it's a tragedy when women pursue men. And the really sad thing is, it only encourages men's passivity. So the woman doing the pursuing is not only putting herself in an incredibly vulnerable position, she is also making the situation worse for her sisters.
An encouraging smile is probably all that a woman needs to give to invite a man to pursue her?
I did not grow up in the Christian church. Any and every time I ever tried to "pursue" a man, it NEVER worked. (And I really didn't "pursue" in the sense that many women do, calling them, asking them out for a date, etc.) Still, it never worked. When I was dating my husband, it was completely his pursuit from the beginning until our marriage. I know that I'm only one person, but I'm just relaying my experience.
Hmmm... OK. I think the whole concept is far less biblical than 'gift of singleness', and frequently very damaging to potential relationships. Why should ANYONE pursue, as such, why not get to be friends and then have a mature discussion about maybe dating? But then, since I started that discussion with hubby, most people consider me 'the pursuer'... ;-)
'less biblical than "gift of singleness"'
Surely not! Nothing can be less Biblical than the 'gift of singleness'! ;-)
What you suggest sounds reasonable, Naomi: "why not get to be friends and then have a mature discussion about maybe dating?"
But I think it is fraught with problems.
Who brings up the discussion about dating? The man? The woman? Either?
I can see the potential for lots of pseuo-relationships, where a woman eventually gets tired of being stuck as buddies and so brings up the subject, only to be rejected.
I think men are the ones that should be risking rejection at the outset.
I am not saying it is "Biblical" in the sense that chapter and verse spell it out.
I think it's more respecting the design of a man and a woman, whereby the man is the pursuer and risk-taker, in relationships and life generally.
But perhaps a more controversial point even is this: Should men and women even be "friends"....
Now that I think I will post on when I have time!
Ok. I need some advice. I have recently done the pursuing as a man. Been out for a date (last Tuesday).
I don't want to pursue further. What is the godly way to say this?
Well, Anon, I think you would be better off taking advice from a married man in your church who knows you (and maybe the lady concerned?) and who you look up to as a man of integrity.
In essence, if you are sure you don't wish to pursue further, then there is no reason to feel awkward. You have acted like a man in asking her out, and you are acting like a man by not stringing her along and wasting her time.
Sorry not to be of more help!
Well I hate to say this but if these churches continue to ordain female leaders to positions that were once only permitted for men, don't be surprised if these are the consequences. I know churches might still have a gender ratio issue otherwise, but this certainly doesn't help, does it?
Shazia - You are right, and in fact David Murrow touches on this in his book. Statistically, the churches led by women have even fewer men. The reason is that men will follow men, but rarely will they follow a woman. (I am paraphrasing, but I think that's what he says!)
However...interestingly, it was a woman in leadership that Murrow quotes who suggested the most radical move to address the disproportionate number of men in the church. She suggested disbanding every church ministry that was not focused on outreaching and discipling men. Very radical, but her thinking was that once you have addressd the problem of the lack of men, all the other ministries could be reinstated and would be much stronger for it!
I wholeheartedly agree with that.
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