Pastor Dave Daniels: Singleness a "curse"
Captain Sensible writes: At last, some good news! Thanks so much for the reader who flagged this up to me. Visit Keep the Faith and download the current issue (which will come up as a PDF). The relevant article is on page 22. (You can type 22 in the box on the top right hand corner and it will take you straight there.) It's a little tricky but well worth persevering. Why? Because he says things like this (my bold):
"One topic that will always cause heated discussion within the church community is the prevalence of Christian single women in the church compared to men, and the difficulties they experience in finding partners.
"One church leader, Dave Daniels, pastor at the People’s Christian Fellowship Church in Tottenham, north London, took note of these discussions and decided to do something to help the single people in his church find partners. He could see that female members were desirous of relationships that would lead to marriage but held little hope of it ever happening…
"Pastor Dave admits he doesn’t see the excessive amount of single people in churches as a necessarily positive thing. He explained, 'I could see people in our church were trying to cope with being single, but deep down there was a deep longing to be in relationship and hopefully enjoy married life someday. I also knew that if these believers were not in church, they would have no problem in developing a relationship with someone from the opposite sex. It was as if becoming a Christian meant signing a celibacy declaration FOR LIFE. This in my opinion was unacceptable. I basically told the church that this scenario was a curse. Eventually people started to recognise this. It took some time to persuade some people because the hurt of believing then being disappointed would be too much for them.'
"(T)his curse of ‘no possibility’ (of relationships) has to be broken…
"When all is said and done, Pastor Daniels, who has been happily married himself for several years, and had two daughters, thinks good Christian marriages send a positive message to society. 'It is a great witness to this world when our marriages are loving and strong,' he said. 'God created marriage and we are supposed to experience all the fruit of this blessed institution. Healthy Christian marriages can bring balance to our community and marriage is helpful in moulding the expectations of the emerging generations and can fill us all with a sense of hope.'"
Now read the entire thing!
"One topic that will always cause heated discussion within the church community is the prevalence of Christian single women in the church compared to men, and the difficulties they experience in finding partners.
"One church leader, Dave Daniels, pastor at the People’s Christian Fellowship Church in Tottenham, north London, took note of these discussions and decided to do something to help the single people in his church find partners. He could see that female members were desirous of relationships that would lead to marriage but held little hope of it ever happening…
"Pastor Dave admits he doesn’t see the excessive amount of single people in churches as a necessarily positive thing. He explained, 'I could see people in our church were trying to cope with being single, but deep down there was a deep longing to be in relationship and hopefully enjoy married life someday. I also knew that if these believers were not in church, they would have no problem in developing a relationship with someone from the opposite sex. It was as if becoming a Christian meant signing a celibacy declaration FOR LIFE. This in my opinion was unacceptable. I basically told the church that this scenario was a curse. Eventually people started to recognise this. It took some time to persuade some people because the hurt of believing then being disappointed would be too much for them.'
"(T)his curse of ‘no possibility’ (of relationships) has to be broken…
"When all is said and done, Pastor Daniels, who has been happily married himself for several years, and had two daughters, thinks good Christian marriages send a positive message to society. 'It is a great witness to this world when our marriages are loving and strong,' he said. 'God created marriage and we are supposed to experience all the fruit of this blessed institution. Healthy Christian marriages can bring balance to our community and marriage is helpful in moulding the expectations of the emerging generations and can fill us all with a sense of hope.'"
Now read the entire thing!
posted by Captain Sensible at 1:23 AM
3 Comments:
What an excellent article, although it's kind of hard to find on their site. Perhaps you could get permission to post it here, or on Debbie's site.
Pastor Daniels and Carl Beech sound like excellent resources in the crusade against the GoS on your side of the pond. Have you thought of contacting them personally?
I will see what I can do. I will add to this post, with better instructions on finding the relevant article, and pick out some of the most important points to highlight in the post too.
Yes, Pastor Daniels' words are very encouraging, and Carl Beech is doing an exceptionally good job. But it's a hard job. Trying to persuade some people, that have got a little too cosy in their position, that it's just not good enough to ignore the men in the world, in favour of less taxing women's and children's ministries... That's my opinion, anyway!
"...as if becoming a Christian meant signing a celibacy declaration for life..."
It's more than just celibacy. If you don't get married, you can't have children. (At least up until these last few years that was true.) Because of my past, my history, this was something I could not do. I could not just sit back and allow myself to go barren, without even trying to put myself in a position where I could find someone. For so long, I attended churches and just waited, thinking someone would show up. I have thought about it in the years since. I don't agree with those who advocate the GOS. They like to throw around the words, "Our purpose is to glorify God." I imagine myself a barren, unmarried lady and I think, "How is this glorifying God?" All the church leaders and the married and even some single people who tried to shame me into sitting around and "waiting."---in the end, I knew they wouldn't give a care what happened to me. They wouldn't visit me in my nursing home or hospital. They were putting this huge burden on my shoulders, and they offered no help with it, yet expected me to bear it all, for the rest of my life. And be Content and Happy with it as well!!
Looking back, I think things have turned out for me the way God intended them to be. I found my husband from among the mainline Christians. After putting myself in a place where a believing man could find me and pursue me if he wanted to, I was able to marry rather quickly. I love my life now, and have no regrets.
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