Stop super-spiritualising singleness!
Captain Sensible writes: Looking at the various websites regarding singleness amongst Christians, I am again horrified by the super-spiritualising of singleness, which is in complete contrast to the Bible where it's a straightforward "go ahead and get married" approach.
Single women are told to check themselves over and over again for signs of discontentment, signs of making an idol out of marriage, signs of wanting marriage "for all the wrong reasons", signs of who knows what!
I wrote about this towards the end of last year in the post entitled: Minutely examining the vacuum cleaner to solve the problem of why the washing machine won't work.
Single Christian women, there is only one thing you need to "check" for.
Do a head count of the number of single men, compared to the number of single women in church circles.
If there is an imbalance in the numbers -- and there almost certainly will be -- then that's where the problem lies.
It's really not with you at all, so please stop all your spiritual navel-gazing, because it is only an unhealthy distraction which gets you no nearer to your Godly goal of getting married -- even though it misleads you into thinking it does.
Hence, it's another tactic of the deceiving enemy.
Single women are told to check themselves over and over again for signs of discontentment, signs of making an idol out of marriage, signs of wanting marriage "for all the wrong reasons", signs of who knows what!
I wrote about this towards the end of last year in the post entitled: Minutely examining the vacuum cleaner to solve the problem of why the washing machine won't work.
Single Christian women, there is only one thing you need to "check" for.
Do a head count of the number of single men, compared to the number of single women in church circles.
If there is an imbalance in the numbers -- and there almost certainly will be -- then that's where the problem lies.
It's really not with you at all, so please stop all your spiritual navel-gazing, because it is only an unhealthy distraction which gets you no nearer to your Godly goal of getting married -- even though it misleads you into thinking it does.
Hence, it's another tactic of the deceiving enemy.
posted by Captain Sensible at 7:35 AM
3 Comments:
Thank God, finally someone told the truth!
I am so pleased to have found your blog and that someone actually talks sense about singleness for christians. The same problems also apply for us divorcees/single again women too. 2 of my very dear christian friends at church whose opinions and spirituality i admire greatly have both said to me 'not to look' for a husband, that god will bring me the right person etc. etc. Sorry but there are no single men in our church whatsoever and my work does not bring me into contact with any men let alone christian men! So how on earth am i going to find one unless i look? I have gone down the route of secular dating sites but making my beliefs clear on my profile in the hope of finding a man who might be open to becoming a christian. I still think this is a valid option - it led to a brief relationship but the guy concerned felt he couldnt give me what i needed on the spiritual level. The difference between his nominal faith and my active one was too great.
The problem of a lack of men in church must be addressed, one comment this unchurched man made to me was that church is so geared for women. I go to quite a modern church but although he liked the pastor and preaching he couldnt relate to the worship at all! And he noticed that there weren't many men in church. Of course this is going to be off putting to men because they will feel conspicuous, being in the minority.
"Befun66" - Re your comment: "the guy concerned (from the secular dating site) felt he couldnt give me what i needed on the spiritual level."
I would just like to make the general point that usually it's a case of easy does it. To anyone in this situation, I would say let the way you lead your life be what draws him closer to God, rather than going down the route of insisting he goes to church with you, lots of talk about your relationship with Jesus etc. etc.
Just my take on this.
And remember, my understanding of the instruction not to be "unequally yoked with unbelievers" is that if he is a believer, then that is Biblical, and anything over and above that is purely down to your preference.
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