A Conspiracy of Silence over the Gift of Singleness?
Captain Sensible writes: Interesting views here on the issue of singleness by Dr. Albert Mohler, president of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. The full article can be read here.
Judging by his views expressed in this article (an extract from which is given below), it would appear that Dr Mohler doesn't believe "singleness" (as opposed to celibacy) to be a "gift" of any description.
Strange then that he hasn't joined the debate and come straight out and said that calling singleness a "gift" is plain wrong, isn't it?
"Singleness is not a sin, but deliberate singleness on the part of those who know they have not been given the gift of celibacy is, at best, a neglect of a Christian responsibility. The problem may be simple sloth, personal immaturity, a fear of commitment, or an unbalanced priority given to work and profession. On the part of men, it may also take the shape of a refusal to grow up and take the lead in courtship. There are countless Christian women who are prayerfully waiting for Christian men to grow up and take the lead. What are these guys waiting for?
"The delay of marriage has caused any number of ills in the larger society, and in the church. Honesty compels us to admit that this is indeed tied to levels of sexual promiscuity and frustration, even as it means that many persons are now marrying well into their adult years, missing the opportunity of growing together as a young couple, and putting parenthood potentially at risk."
Judging by his views expressed in this article (an extract from which is given below), it would appear that Dr Mohler doesn't believe "singleness" (as opposed to celibacy) to be a "gift" of any description.
Strange then that he hasn't joined the debate and come straight out and said that calling singleness a "gift" is plain wrong, isn't it?
"Singleness is not a sin, but deliberate singleness on the part of those who know they have not been given the gift of celibacy is, at best, a neglect of a Christian responsibility. The problem may be simple sloth, personal immaturity, a fear of commitment, or an unbalanced priority given to work and profession. On the part of men, it may also take the shape of a refusal to grow up and take the lead in courtship. There are countless Christian women who are prayerfully waiting for Christian men to grow up and take the lead. What are these guys waiting for?
"The delay of marriage has caused any number of ills in the larger society, and in the church. Honesty compels us to admit that this is indeed tied to levels of sexual promiscuity and frustration, even as it means that many persons are now marrying well into their adult years, missing the opportunity of growing together as a young couple, and putting parenthood potentially at risk."
posted by Captain Sensible at 2:23 PM
3 Comments:
So how is all of this just a minor problem? Or a "neglect of Christian responsibility"? How can people look at something that causes so much suffering and not say that it's wrong?
We don't say that alcoholism is a neglect of Christian responsibility. We might say that divorce is a neglect of Christian responsibility (at least in some circles), but that's so obviously ridiculous that it's clear the church is slipping in its stances.
When did the church stop calling a spade a spade? What exactly, then, according to the good doctor, constitutes "sin"?
Now, I'm very glad that someone is finally speaking out and saying that there's something wrong with it. But really. Immaturity, refusal to take responsibility, and living in fear are manifestations of sin.
But hey, at least someone is more or less on our side.
I am thankful to Dr. Mohler because he is one of the few pastors who singles, especially the women, actually have in their court. I am also thankful that he endorsed my book; I very much respect his opinions and his thoughtfulness combined with forthrightness on so many issues. Don't you guys just wish all of these allegedly "content" single women would shut their mouths as opposed to berating people like Dr. Mohler and Boundless when they are perhaps the only two sources that are actively trying to advance marriage as the norm to young people? It's like no good deed goes unpunished.
Your blog entry is interesting because while many enraged women are chiding Dr. Mohler and Boundless for going to far and demonizing singleness, you are saying that these Christian leaders didn't go far enough. I tend to agree with you that Christian leaders should just come right out and say something is a sin, when it is. Why do we think that today the neglect of marriage is just shirking a responsibility, like it was some ignored chore, like the laundry. The Westminster Confession Q.139 answers that one of the "sins" violating the Seventh Commandment is the "undue delay of marriage in either ourselves or others." I tend to agree with Sarah, what's wrong with just coming out and saying that deliberate singleness (i.e. not born of celibacy) is a sin, sin, sin. Yes, this means you, buddy boy, who has no intention of presently marrying but doing so ten years down the road somewhere. I just don't understand why we think this kind of attitude and complacency in finding a spouse is a victimless crime.
But hey, just remember we live in a day where speaking boldly and directly is not applauded by contemporary Christians without immediately being labeled for failing to speak the truth in love. Perhaps the softer version of accountability that Boundless writings and Dr. Mohler provide is what works in this generation.
I am hopeful in that what I am witnessing now that Getting Serious About Getting Married: Rethinking the Gift of Singleness has been out one year is a slow crecendo, and the chorus is coming. Pastors can't just go on hiding behind the Sovereignty of God doctrine and peddling half truths on singleness. What we need to be doing is praying for the men that lead in this area to be bold enough to come out with the whole truth. I have already heard one minister who after reading my book has publicly repented to his congregation that he had been careless about the things he had said about singleness. My point is simply that the change is going to come, it may not happen at the pace want. But keep lighting the fires where they need to be lit.
Interesting comment posted by a guy on ANOTHER blog:
"In part because of encouragement and conviction from sources like this blog I have for the first time in my 27 years of existance on this planet asked a women out. She said yes."
God bless you, brother!
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