The Correct Response to the Dreaded Singleness Contentment Lecture!
Captain Sensible writes: The Singleness Contentment Lecture is no doubt all too familiar to those suffering from protracted singleness -- particularly barren women, who tend to feel their singleness and accompanying childlessness the most painfully. Once again, Debbie Maken's wisdom on this subject is unsurpassed. Here is her answer to a question raised on her blog referring to Paul's mention of having learned the secret of being content in every circumstance. (Philippians 4:10-13)
I recommend learning Debbie's answer off by rote and practising it daily in front of the mirror, until you can recite it seamlessly and with the appropriate expression of gentle, but firm, instruction on your face. Think along the lines of a school teacher who must correct the errors of a small child.
Is that a bit unkind?
No, unfortunately it is necessary in order that the lecture-bearer does not continue to make already hurting people feel a whole lot worse.
That's true kindness.
"When Paul is talking about contentment, he is saying that he has an object for his contentment, that is, the Lord. He finds his contentment in the Lord, not in his circumstances, whether he is rich or poor, well fed or hungry. It is entirely possible to be content in the Lord yet find your circumstances are less than desirable. Just like a person who is wrongly imprisoned need not marvel at bread and water in jail, I do not think that those who are single need extol its greatness or pretend that it is inconsequential just to prove that they are somehow 'content.' Even in I Cor. 7, Paul advised those who were slaves to gain their freedom; it has nothing to do with whether the slaves were content with their masters, it was an acknowledgement that man was never designed to be a slave and should be working toward his freedom. The same analogy works for those who are single; they should be working to achieve marriage, instead of pretending that the status quo is marvelous."
I recommend learning Debbie's answer off by rote and practising it daily in front of the mirror, until you can recite it seamlessly and with the appropriate expression of gentle, but firm, instruction on your face. Think along the lines of a school teacher who must correct the errors of a small child.
Is that a bit unkind?
No, unfortunately it is necessary in order that the lecture-bearer does not continue to make already hurting people feel a whole lot worse.
That's true kindness.
"When Paul is talking about contentment, he is saying that he has an object for his contentment, that is, the Lord. He finds his contentment in the Lord, not in his circumstances, whether he is rich or poor, well fed or hungry. It is entirely possible to be content in the Lord yet find your circumstances are less than desirable. Just like a person who is wrongly imprisoned need not marvel at bread and water in jail, I do not think that those who are single need extol its greatness or pretend that it is inconsequential just to prove that they are somehow 'content.' Even in I Cor. 7, Paul advised those who were slaves to gain their freedom; it has nothing to do with whether the slaves were content with their masters, it was an acknowledgement that man was never designed to be a slave and should be working toward his freedom. The same analogy works for those who are single; they should be working to achieve marriage, instead of pretending that the status quo is marvelous."
posted by Captain Sensible at 6:49 AM
1 Comments:
I love how Debbie Maken describes people such as these! The guilt Gestapo!!! So true :)
"These are the same people (the guilt Gestapo), who have been using the club of contentment to subdue people from questioning why they are single, these are the same people whose sloppy and careless thinking has led singles to believe singleness and celibacy are the very same thing, and these are the same people that routinely paint God as a Cupid that capriciously decides when it is someone’s turn to marry."
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