Dare to Complain about Singleness!
Captain Sensible writes: In these days of chastisement if anyone dares to express discontentment with the contemporary church’s new teaching on singleness, and the predictable outcomes of protracted singleness and barrenness that it causes, I appreciate the wisdom of Paul Scanlon, Senior Pastor of Abundant Life Church in Bradford, England – one of the fastest growing and most influential churches in Europe.
Contrary to all the “contentment” lectures that make singles feel guilty and sinful for even desiring marriage, Paul Scanlon encourages complaining over compliance.
But not just any old complaining.
No, this Pastor encourages the complainers who become a force for change; a force for good.
So which will you be?
Compliant and defeatist; feigning contentment, and thereby prolonging the false teaching for yet another generation?
Or will you be a complainer; a “history maker” that effects change?
"At the core of every visionary leader's life is a deep dissatisfaction with how things are. At the root of every history maker's calling is a complaint. That complaint is his or her cause, fuel, drive and motivation to press through and accomplish the dream, however tough it gets along the way."
"When people have no complaint, they become compliant; they do what others tell them, accept the status quo, and sign up to long-established traditions. They do what they do because everyone else does; together they comply."
"Compliant people will never become visionary people. Compliant leaders cannot be visionary leaders because compliance is comfortable and comfort has never been the mother of complaint."
"Vision is fuelled from two directions, the past and the future. My complaint about what must change pushes from behind, and my vision of better things pulls me forward."
"It's the complainers in all walks of life who are getting results. Thousands of lobbying groups, many of them small in number, refuse to be silent about their causes."
"Celebrity TV chef Jamie Oliver recently took on the British government about the poor nutritional quality of school meals. His complaint was that children were being fed junk food at the most formative time of their physical and intellectual development. His outrage exposed the disgrace on national TV, and the public protest he provoked resulted in a change in the level of government funding for school meals in just a matter of weeks. Many before him had expressed a concern about school meals, but a concern is not a complaint. A complaint fuels a vision to bring change, and the consistent voice it becomes makes real change possible."
"Please understand that complaining is not whining! Whiners are people who complain about things that they permit and tolerate. Whiners are a dime a dozen, but people with a genuine complaint, who are willing to become a force for change are much rarer."
"What's your problem? What's your issue? What can't you stand? What won’t you put up with? What do you have an attitude about? What bothers you about the church? What keeps you awake at night? What drives you crazy and gets you up on your ‘soap box’ thumping the table in protest? Here you will find your life’s cause and calling. Your irritation is your ministry. What you can’t stand is what you were put here to stand up for."
“Those who don’t share your complaint will never understand you. Those who do understand will never forgive you for walking away from a fight that you were put on the planet to win. Winning your war is always about others, often thousands and millions of others, who need you to sustain your complaint until the vision becomes their reality too.”
“The last thing you ever need to do is calm down! Don’t ever try to calm down about things you feel deeply passionate about.”
Extracts from Crossing Over by Paul Scanlon (Nelson Books)
Contrary to all the “contentment” lectures that make singles feel guilty and sinful for even desiring marriage, Paul Scanlon encourages complaining over compliance.
But not just any old complaining.
No, this Pastor encourages the complainers who become a force for change; a force for good.
So which will you be?
Compliant and defeatist; feigning contentment, and thereby prolonging the false teaching for yet another generation?
Or will you be a complainer; a “history maker” that effects change?
"At the core of every visionary leader's life is a deep dissatisfaction with how things are. At the root of every history maker's calling is a complaint. That complaint is his or her cause, fuel, drive and motivation to press through and accomplish the dream, however tough it gets along the way."
"When people have no complaint, they become compliant; they do what others tell them, accept the status quo, and sign up to long-established traditions. They do what they do because everyone else does; together they comply."
"Compliant people will never become visionary people. Compliant leaders cannot be visionary leaders because compliance is comfortable and comfort has never been the mother of complaint."
"Vision is fuelled from two directions, the past and the future. My complaint about what must change pushes from behind, and my vision of better things pulls me forward."
"It's the complainers in all walks of life who are getting results. Thousands of lobbying groups, many of them small in number, refuse to be silent about their causes."
"Celebrity TV chef Jamie Oliver recently took on the British government about the poor nutritional quality of school meals. His complaint was that children were being fed junk food at the most formative time of their physical and intellectual development. His outrage exposed the disgrace on national TV, and the public protest he provoked resulted in a change in the level of government funding for school meals in just a matter of weeks. Many before him had expressed a concern about school meals, but a concern is not a complaint. A complaint fuels a vision to bring change, and the consistent voice it becomes makes real change possible."
"Please understand that complaining is not whining! Whiners are people who complain about things that they permit and tolerate. Whiners are a dime a dozen, but people with a genuine complaint, who are willing to become a force for change are much rarer."
"What's your problem? What's your issue? What can't you stand? What won’t you put up with? What do you have an attitude about? What bothers you about the church? What keeps you awake at night? What drives you crazy and gets you up on your ‘soap box’ thumping the table in protest? Here you will find your life’s cause and calling. Your irritation is your ministry. What you can’t stand is what you were put here to stand up for."
“Those who don’t share your complaint will never understand you. Those who do understand will never forgive you for walking away from a fight that you were put on the planet to win. Winning your war is always about others, often thousands and millions of others, who need you to sustain your complaint until the vision becomes their reality too.”
“The last thing you ever need to do is calm down! Don’t ever try to calm down about things you feel deeply passionate about.”
Extracts from Crossing Over by Paul Scanlon (Nelson Books)
posted by Captain Sensible at 2:37 PM
4 Comments:
Suddenly I feel much better. (But NOT compliant!)
I've been formulating a plan of attack lately, starting with the blogosphere and getting more specific. Writing is part of the plan, as is finally joining a church (and I know which one, too), becoming a member, and approaching the pastors about the issue of singleness.
I have a lot of other issues with the church, and I'll be developing them as well.
I wanted to check out for awhile -- I was so disgusted that I wanted nothing to do with the church at all. But I've been feeling yanked back again, and I'm excited to see what's coming. Because I think it's going to be change.
I once heard a preacher say that whatever you hate you have the power to destroy, and whatever you love you have the power to heal. I never forgot those words.
Amen Vincenzo.
God is SO much greater than any schemes or wiles of the devil, it's almost embarrassing to put the two things in the same sentence!
Interesting comment from someone called Adam on another blog:
"It wasn't until I stopped lying to myself - and admitted that I was NOT content - that I was able to find more contentment in my discontent. (if that makes any sense)
I honestly didn't know there were other people, males and females, that were struggling with the same things I was until I stumbled across (another) blog and others."
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