Urgent Call for Prayer and Fasting!

Frieda Fruitcake writes: My dear fellow singleness-gifted brothers and sisters, I feel moved to declare a period of prayer and fasting during these dark days of Valentine’s week.
The Lord prompted me to do this after I – with fear and trembling – self-sacrificially submitted to His will, and attended the London Christians Valentine’s party last night.
This unholy gathering was truly shameful to behold, and I fully understand why the Lord wanted me to witness this debauchery at first hand.
Supposedly Christian men and women were laughing, dancing and cavorting with each other, as if we were created by God to be sexual beings!
Some of these wanton women were even heard, in the secret place of the Ladies restroom, to gleefully remark about how many men there were at the party, before adding with a sinful giggle about how “proactive” they were being too! Something which was apparently regarded as “fantastic”, no less!
As if Christian men being proactive about finding someone to love is something to commend!
Why weren’t these single men spending their Saturday night at home alone with their computers or watching their Star Wars DVDs? That’s what I want to know!
And why weren’t the single women babysitting for their poor married friends, so that they can go on “date nights” with their husbands?
As a consequence of witnessing such lewd behaviour, I have decided to dedicate this coming week to prayer and fasting, that the Lord might preserve their precious Gifts of Singleness and Aloneness.
I implore you to join me, and let’s ensure that these so-called “Christian” heathens do not sacrifice their precious Gifts at the altar of marriage, as a result of their depraved behaviour last night!
Christian singles must continue to be taught that no good can come of anything other than “making friends” – only God-honouring marriages and Christian families, and as we all know:
No sacrifice is too great to prevent that from happening!