Banish all-white wedding gowns!
Frieda Fruitcake writes: Having not long returned from my latest gift of singleness-honouring retreat, I am now confident that there is no marriage idolatry left in me. Praise the Lord! How dangerously close I came to desiring marriage a fraction more than I desire to keep the gift of singleness!
But the enemy is like a prowling lion! Just today my eyes unwittingly glanced into the window of a bridal shop. I immediately averted my gaze, but God works everything for the good, so out of my one quick sinful glance, I believe the Lord has placed a burden on my heart to start a petition to make wedding dresses feature a black and white colour scheme, instead of the traditional all-white.
As we all know, singleness is a gift and marriage is a gift, and they are both completely equal, and you just have to wait and see which one God has planned for you.
So I think a more appropriate style of bridal gown would consist of a black and white design. That way, should a woman be "called" to marriage, the white can represent the celebration of the gift of marriage, and the black can represent the appropriate mourning of the loss of the very equal gift of singleness.
Now I happen to know there are some talented ladies that read this blog who have the gift of needlework! So I would like to throw this blog open to all you lovely ladies (and last remaining brother - we wouldn't want you to ever feel alienated by any Christian activity!), and ask you to send me your new wedding gown designs, featuring black areas in an equal proportion to the white.
I will be strict about these proportions, by the way. Too much white will be a sign that you are subconsciously making an idol out marriage, so you will need to immediately repent, and then I recommend following in Frieda's footsteps and getting your sorry soul off to a retreat immmediately.
I look forward to viewing all your designs!
Stay blessed - stay single! (That's my new strapline, inspired by my latest retreat. I hope you like it!)
But the enemy is like a prowling lion! Just today my eyes unwittingly glanced into the window of a bridal shop. I immediately averted my gaze, but God works everything for the good, so out of my one quick sinful glance, I believe the Lord has placed a burden on my heart to start a petition to make wedding dresses feature a black and white colour scheme, instead of the traditional all-white.
As we all know, singleness is a gift and marriage is a gift, and they are both completely equal, and you just have to wait and see which one God has planned for you.
So I think a more appropriate style of bridal gown would consist of a black and white design. That way, should a woman be "called" to marriage, the white can represent the celebration of the gift of marriage, and the black can represent the appropriate mourning of the loss of the very equal gift of singleness.
Now I happen to know there are some talented ladies that read this blog who have the gift of needlework! So I would like to throw this blog open to all you lovely ladies (and last remaining brother - we wouldn't want you to ever feel alienated by any Christian activity!), and ask you to send me your new wedding gown designs, featuring black areas in an equal proportion to the white.
I will be strict about these proportions, by the way. Too much white will be a sign that you are subconsciously making an idol out marriage, so you will need to immediately repent, and then I recommend following in Frieda's footsteps and getting your sorry soul off to a retreat immmediately.
I look forward to viewing all your designs!
Stay blessed - stay single! (That's my new strapline, inspired by my latest retreat. I hope you like it!)
posted by Captain Sensible at 3:52 PM
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