Living Alone - Dying Alone?
Captain Sensible writes: Very moving story in the Sunday Times magazine today about a man called Andrew Smith, whose undiscovered body was not found for two months, when a neighbour noticed the smell. He was 40 years of age.
The article forms the magazine's cover story, with this headline:
"By 2021 a third of us will live alone. How many will die alone too?"
Here are a few extracts:
"It seems the UK is becoming a nation of loners. In 2004 there were 7 million people living alone in Britain -- nearly four times as many as in 1961. By 2021, 37% of all households in Britain are expected to be made up of people who live alone. But these figures reflect more than just an ageing population -- today, more than 10% of people aged between 22 and 44 live by themselves, compared with just 2% in 1973"
"...we can estimate that thousands of deaths go unmourned by family or friends."
"...figures...often include numbers of foetal remains and stillborn babies -- adults who die alone are grouped with lives that never began."
"And to live your life knowing that if you didn't exist, nobody would notice, must be so lonely; it's being a ghost before you have gone."
Tragic.
I do wonder if this is more of a problem for single men than it is for women? Women naturally form relationships with others much more easily than men do. Men have greater incidents of autism and Asperger's Syndrome than women (I believe), and generally seem to slip into a spiral of solitary aloneness much more easily than women. I have always felt a particular sadness whenever I have seen a man eating alone in a pub or "greasy spoon" cafe, and never quite understood why. Perhaps it's for the same reason that women tend to live longer than men.
It is not good for man to be alone.
Is the term "contented bachelor" an oxymoron?
posted by Captain Sensible at 3:35 PM
3 Comments:
Hi!
I guess I have been lurking around your site long enough, so I decided to leave a comment. I am currently studying Urban Planning at the University of Virginia, and I recenlty read an article telling future planners that we should begin planning cities around the template of the single-resident. According to some statistics, eventually only a quarter of American households will contain parents wity children in the year 2020. That means there will be more people living their lives alone. It is also estimated that the people who do eventually have children will do so at a later age. As a single women who is struggling to recover from the "singleness is a gift" fallacy (it is hard to resist something one has heard for so many years), I have prayed to God that I will not be one of the life-long single residents.
Isn't society asking itself about how it will deal with the repercussions of more and more people living and dying alone?
As people age, they will inevitably acquire afflictions that render them incapable of fending for themselves, even if their conditions are not to the same magnitude as, say, Alzheimers, Multiple Sclerosis, Cancer, etc. But as for the latter conditions I described (let's just say, Alzheimers), how are you going to take care of yourself if you get a condition that you cannot treat/take care of on your own? If you find yourself losing your memory as you age, but forget how to get the proper care because you forget minor things like how to use a phone book, dial a number, etc., how is anyone going to find out about you unless you die like this man did? I guess someone will find out that you have a problem, but will anyone really care?
Hi Captain,
Shazia to add to your lamentation, single people are at a greater risk for health problems as well. So the scenario you paint is likely, especially with the single men.
It is really sad, and it is something that cannot be institutionally remedied by either the church or the state. I remember a good single friend of mine who lived with her 92 year old grandmother. While the friend was away on a two week missions trip, her poor grandmother slipped in the shower and died. She was found the next day by the friend's older sister who came around every day to check on granny. This story reminds me-- this is what family and progeny does-- it cares for the other members in a way that no other institution can fulfill. They are "familiar" with the needs in such a way, as to make it "family."
Debbie Maken
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