Debbie Maken comments on Romantic Love and apparent Monks in training!

Captain Sensible writes: I am delighted to say that I have received a comment from the author Debbie Maken in response to the post entitled "Wisdom and foolishness in the strangest places".
Rather than only post it in the comments section, I have taken the decision to also post it here - so vitally important is the message contained within it.

"It is amazing that a pop star would be able to spot something as sublime as the consuming need for romantic love, and yet Christians would feel the need to squelch same, as if it were an idol, something to subdue, master, destroy so that it cannot get in the way of our otherwise mediocre, half-hearted, mildly devoted relationships with God. None of us are that single-minded about God-- whether married or single. The simple reason for this is because God did not create us to be that way. We were not born to be monks, and we kid ourselves and contradict our very nature, the more that we think we are. We are not monks in any aspect of our lives from personal consumption to spending habits to being endlessly entertained, and yet when it comes to our sexuality, we think our selective monkishness and continued passivity to downright neglect of marriage will bring about more spirituality or devotion. There is a good word for cafeteria monkishness-- hypocrite.

"God is the creator of our sexuality and He meant for it to be good and for it to be acted on in the most appropriate way-- through marriage. For us to now place such a desire in competition with the creator of it is truly foolish.

"Sometimes when I hear about these bachelors writing on sites like Purposefully Single and all of these other singleness pundits extolling the virtues of this mystifying gift (the "gift of singleness"), I often feel like we are the children of Israel, where the promises and blessings of the Covenant are going to be skipped over us but be given to others who have followed His blueprint more closely-- i.e. to be fruitful and multiply. The broken hearts of many single women and men is only the beginning; we should fear the fallout a generation from now if this misteaching about the gift of singleness actually seeps any further into the body of Christ.

"Many thanks to those who publish this blog and for all your support of my book."

Debbie Maken

Wisdom and foolishness in the strangest places!

It has come to my attention that a lot of Christians talk a great deal of horsefeathers and a lot of supposedly "secular" folk show great wisdom and understanding.
On the discussion board of a militantly pro-singleness site, a male contributor has written the following revelatory comment: “The Bible speaks about one who finds a wife, but not about one who searches for a wife. These two are not the same. I can find a 100-dollar note on the street, but that doesn't mean that I apparently was searching for 100-dollar notes. The Bible discourages (but not prohibits) searching for a wife quite clearly in 1 Corinthians 7:27.”
What really is clear is that this person’s Bible obviously omits the preceding verse which begins: “Because of the present crisis…”
In contrast, let’s take a look at the British pop star, Robbie Williams. Below are some of the lyrics from one of his songs “Feel”, which illustrates the need we all have for romantic love. It's not always easy, and it takes courage, but it is as essential to us as the oxygen that we breathe.
I think God understands where Robbie is coming from here.
Foolishness from Christians and wisdom from pop stars?
Who’d have thought it?

Come on hold my hand,
I wanna contact the living.
Not sure I understand,
This role I’ve been given.

I sit and talk to God
And He just laughs at my plans,
My head speaks a language,
I don’t understand.

I just wanna feel real love,
Fill the home that I live in.
’Cause I got too much love,
Running through my veins, to go to waste.

I just wanna feel real love,
In a life ever after
There’s a hole in my soul,
You can see it in my face, it’s a real big place.

Looking forward to Christmas!

Frieda Fruitcake writes: How wonderful that the Christmas celebrations are nearly upon us! Truly this is a time for us to rejoice in our gift of singleness! No special someone to make it worth cooking up a feast for, or spend countless hours searching for the perfect gift to give with barely-containable anticipation, or steal kisses from under the mistletoe amidst the streams of twinkling fairy lights, no children's faces to see light up in awe at the decorated Christmas tree, or excitedly take on a visit to see Santa Claus with...
Praise the Lord!
A special thank you must go out to the wonderful Purposeful Singleness site, which never fails to offer inspirational support for those keen to keep a tight grip on the gift of singleness, no matter what.
Unfortunately, our dear Captain has been banned from posting on there. I think he must have said something to offend them like: You guys need to step up to your Biblical responsibilities and start leading godly Christian women to marriage in a timely fashion. He does get carried away with some ridiculous notions sometimes, does our Captain!
Who could blame the severe administators of that site for wanting to stamp out such heresy!
Anyway, I heartily recommend their Thanksgiving Praises for Singles -- a page which is just full of encouragement that the Lord will "healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds" (I think they must have included that as a joke. They are just so much fun on there!) and that singles should "wait on the Lord", "rest in hope" and "trust in the Lord".
Amen to that!
How sinful it is when singles decide to take some initiative themselves by going to Christian social events (or "meet markets" as I like to call them!) instead of sitting at home waiting on God's timing, while their romantic instincts freeze over with an impenetrable casing of ice! As if we were supposed to be God's "fellow-workers" in life! (1 Corinthians 3: 9)
No, Christian brothers especially, I implore you. Do not be tempted to take the initiative to lead a godly woman to marriage, to be your lover and your helper in this life. (As if another woman could ever replace your mother's home cooking, to begin with!) Remember, the creation mandate to be fruitful and multiply was for Old Testament characters only - just to get us started, y'know! By not being proactive and choosing to remain a celibate eunuch, whilst the years roll away in a period of extended adolescence, leaving women to squander their most fertile years in brotherly/sisterly fellowshipping, you are not "stealing a husband" from a good Christian woman, as John Calvin erroneously taught. Neither are you forcing her to choose between being a barren spinster all her life or opting for a non-Christian husband!
Indeed not!
Now we have the new revelation of the holy Gospel of Singleness and by golly, we shall rejoice in it this Christmas season!
Rejoice - and I say it again - rejoice!

1 Corinthians 7: 6-9 and the "Gift" of Singleness

Captain Sensible writes: A thorough and detailed contribution here, from a reader that has compared the original Greek verse that is frequently mistranslated to include a "gift of singleness", with a number of the translations that are popular today. I would like to express my deepest gratitude to the reader that sent this in (God bless you, JM), and who I know works tirelessly to address this modern doctrinal error which has sadly now become so entrenched. Although I differ slightly in some regards, this is an outstanding piece of work, the magnitude of which cannot be underestimated, not only for single Christians, but for the entire Body of Christ.

With the recent controversy around Debbie Maken’s book “Getting Serious About Getting Married: Rethinking the Gift of Singleness”, we decided to take a look at the passage upon which the entire concept of “the gift of singleness” is based. In the process, we made an interesting discovery comparing the original Greek texts with several older and newer translations:

Greek: "6) De lego touto kata suggnome ou kata epitage 7) Gar thelo pas anthropos einai kai hos emautou alla hekastos echo IDIOS CHARISMA ek theos HOS MEN HOUTO DE HOS HOUTO. 8) Lego de agamos kai chera esti KALOS autos ean meno kago hos kago 9) De ei egkrateuomai ou egkrateuomai GAMEO gar esti kreitton gameo e puroo."

KJV: “6) But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. 7) For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his PROPER GIFT of God, ONE AFTER THIS MANNER, ONE AFTER THAT. 8) I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is GOOD for them if they abide even as I. 9) But if they cannot contain, LET THEM MARRY: for it is better to marry than to burn.”

NASB: “6) But this I say by way of concession, not of command. 7) Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his OWN GIFT from God, ONE IN THIS MANNER AND ANOTHER IN THAT. 8) But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is GOOD for them if they remain even as I. 9) But if they do not have self-control, LET THEM MARRY; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

New Living Translation: “6) I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7) But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. But God gives to some the GIFT OF MARRIAGE, and to others the GIFT OF SINGLENESS. 8) So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s BETTER to stay unmarried, just as I am. 9) But if they can’t control themselves, THEY SHOULD GO AHEAD AND MARRY. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.”

NRSV: 6) This I say by way of concession, not of command. 7) I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has a PARTICULAR GIFT from God, ONE HAVING ONE KIND AND ANOTHER A DIFFERENT KIND. 8) To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is WELL for them to remain unmarried as I am. 9) But if they are not practicing self-control, THEY SHOULD MARRY. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion.

So let's compare these translations verse by verse:

Verse 6: "permission/concession, not command" relates to verse 7, 8 and 9, all addressed to singles, just as verse 10 "to the married" is expressed as a command "not I but the Lord". This is the case for the KJV, NASB and the NRSV, but not for the New Living Translation (and several other newer Bibles), which seems to creates a separate paragraph to connect verse 6 to the preceding verses (1-5) addressed to married people, not singles. It is a mystery why the editors of those modern Bibles would want to distance the softened "concession not command" from the message to singles it was obviously meant for.

Verse 7: As shown above, the KJV, NASB and NRSV stay close to the original Greek text, but the NLT version (as per its predecessor from the 70's, The Living Bible) embellishes "the gift of marriage" and the "gift of singleness" where there is none. Perhaps the first editors of the Living Bibles and other similar modern translations were trying to downplay the traditional Catholic notion of “gift of celibacy” or bring modern relevance to the passage by turning it into "the gift of singleness". But even Gordon Fee says no one can be sure if “I myself am” in the first half is referring to singleness or celibacy (see The New International Commentary on the New Testament: The First Epistle to the Corinthians).

One thing that many scholars seem to have overlooked was the Greek word IDIOS that precedes “gift” (“charisma” Greek for grace gift) in the second half of the verse. Idios is more correctly translated in the NRSV as “particular”…or even “peculiar”, as a matter of fact, it’s the root of the English word “idiosyncratic”, and the French word “idiot”, meaning “peculiar one”. Paul was more likely referring to a gift much more unique than marital status, such as an enablement for the sexual containment he mentions in the verse 9.

Paul further accentuates the uniqueness of this gifting using a Greek expression still common today: “hos men houto de hos houto”, most closely translated in the KJV and NASB as “one after/in this manner, and another after/in that.” It’s a figure of speech that has an infinite quality (one in this manner, and that manner, and that, and that…etc.), rather than suggesting it's either one of two things (like marriage or singleness). Indeed, “This” and “that” are non-specific, and most likely hypothetical: “this” does not mean marriage and “that” does not mean “singleness”, or vice versa, as the New Living Translation, The Message and other modern translations have concluded! Paul does not identify any specific gift: whatever was his gift that enabled him to proceed on such a perilous mission alone, he probably didn’t quite understand it himself. However Paul may have been gifted, he was gifted in his own particular way.

Verse 8: The NLT translates this verse to mean that it's BETTER to not marry, despite the fact that the original Greek uses the word "KALOS", which is more correctly means "GOOD", as written in the KJV, NASB and the NRSV. Again, it leaves us to wonder why the editors of the NLT would take an interpretation so denigrating of marriage? Even if there are other passages in 1 Cor 7 that suggest the superiority of singleness over marriage (v. 38), they must be looked at within the context of "the present distress" (v. 26, and also 29, 31) that faced the Corinthian people at that time.

Verse 9: "LET THEM MARRY". Note the permission granting (as opposed to permission denying) language that leaves the CHOICE to marry or remain single up to the individual, repeated again several times throughout the chapter in verses 26-28 and 36-38, even going so far as to say "he should do as he wants" in verse 36.

The wisdom Paul shares throughout the entire chapter is given to help the listeners make WISE DECISIONS about whether or not to marry. Nowhere in Corinthians or any other book of the Bible is there any mention of God "calling" some to marriage or singleness, or having to discern if it's "God's will" for you to pursue marriage or remain single. No admonishments to "wait on the Lord" to give you a spouse. Some interpret 1 Cor 7:17 to suggest that God assigns spouses ("But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk"), but the wording of this passage is also non-specific, and existing in equal proximity to similar passages about circumcision and slavery. The most that could be said about verse 17 is that a spouse may be a gift from God, especially a good one (Proverbs 19:14), but as far as divine matchmaking is concerned, we must dig deep into the Old Testament to find the only two examples: Adam & Eve and Hosea & Gomer. Almost always the Bible talks about marriage and singleness in terms of personal volition and intentionality: a man "finds a wife" in Proverbs 18:22, or "takes a wife" in 1 Corinthians 9:5, "made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven" in Matthew 19.

Conclusion
In conclusion, there is no such thing as "the gift of singleness". It's an entirely modern invention, propogated by well-intentioned but misguided editors of The Living Bible, The New Living Translation and many of the other "plain English" Bibles because of how they interpreted 1 Cor 7:7 to mean that "God gives some the gift of marriage and some the gift of singleness", despite the fact that Paul was referring to unique gifting or enablement, not circumstantial singleness. When you step back from the passage and look at the other verses around it, you see that verses 6 and 7 combined merely serve as a preamble to verses 8 and 9, which contain the meat of Paul's recommendations about whether to marry or remain single, so that the individual would decide wisely-- well aware of their gifts vs. limits of self-control. A far cry from many of today's church leaders who would prefer that singles remain oblivious to their sexuality and the realities of postponing timely decisions about marriage-- as if God prefers and rewards indifference. It's time we correct these teachings and restore these passages to their original meaning (best represented by the NRSV) so that we may give single Christians what they have been sorely lacking: a wholehearted blessing to pursue marriage.

Something for the boys!

Frieda Fruitcake writes: Don't say us Gift of Singleness ladies don't think of your needs too, gentlemen! I would like to encourage you all to join the Dull Men's Club - a safe place in cyberspace where "Dull Men can share thoughts and experiences, free from pressures to be in and trendy, free instead to enjoy the simple, ordinary things of everyday life."
These men enjoy sharing about their little hobbies, which may include extreme list-making, binge flossing, watching batteries charge and deleting exclamation marks from documents and emails (billed as "a new form of safe excitement"). Such harmless pastimes should be encouraged to give men something to do whilst we are busy at our ladies-only book clubs and knitting circles.
And to think God said it wasn't good for man to be alone!
I can only imagine battery chargers simply weren't invented then.

Book Review

"Frieda - I have something I would like you to read."
"But Captain, I am only halfway through my 55th re-read of Carolyn McCulley's 'Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?' and I am trying to reach my goal of 100 by Christmas. She writes so beautifully about the blessings of the gift of singleness!"
"I understand that Frieda. May I stress again, I would really like you to read this."
"Well Captain, you know how hard I find it to refuse you when you are being so manly and masterful! But how will I fit it all in? I have my Ladies Book Club, my Ladies Knitting Circle, my Ladies Babysitting Rota, my Ladies Support Group for those Gifted with Singleness, my..."
"I get the picture, Frieda. Perhaps you would like to start with a review instead? Here is a good one from Credenda. Maybe you could begin with that."
"Oh if you insist, Captain! Snakes alive, I surely do think I would be tempted to throw away my gift of singleness in an instant if only you asked me to!"
"I wouldn't worry about that, Frieda. I only want you to read the review."
"Oh."
"Here it is."


Review of "Getting Serious about Getting Married" by Debbie Maken
I’m extremely glad that Canon Press is carrying Debbie Maken’s book Getting Serious About Getting Married (Crossway). I think you all (whoever you are) should buy it, read it, and give it to your friends. It really is a book for everyone, not just for those most likely to read it—unmarried women.
The book’s subtitle, “Rethinking the Gift of Singleness,” is what the book is all about. Maken does an analysis of the modern church’s view on singleness, shows where the church has gone astray from embracing the biblical mandate for marriage, and calls us to repent of our concession to the world’s system of singleness.
Maken’s central point is that too many churches do not teach and prepare young people to get married, do not train the young men to see their duty to take a wife, and do not guide the women who are in a hopelessly stranded position of waiting for a husband. She thoroughly dismantles the view that singleness and marriage are both “gifts” that God gives to His children, and she argues that just calling the unmarried state “God’s will” does not make it so.
Why do I say everyone should read it? Unmarried men should read this because she attacks the world’s endorsement of prolonged adolescence for men, leaving women to wait until past their prime childbearing years to marry. Pastors should read this because they need to teach the men that “it is not good” for them to be alone; each man needs a wife. Parents should read this too: they need to have a biblical perspective on their duty to promote marriage and to assist their children in the whole process.
With large and growing numbers of unmarried men and women in the church, it is essential that the church do more than sponsor singles’ groups and singles’ retreats. These are no substitute for the blessing of marriage and family, and may just prolong the problem. This book will stir you up to do more than encourage the unmarried to “be content while you wait.” Maken is not shy about addressing the real problems of a culture that enables men to be lazy, exposes women to long-term loneliness, and undermines the creation mandate to “be fruitful and multiply.”

Celeb Watch!

Celebrities displaying more Biblical wisdom than our Christian leaders!

David Arquette writing about his wife Courteney Cox on MySpace:
"She helped me to become a better person."

More bad advice from the Christian singleness "expert" renowned for dishing it out by the bucketload

Dear oh dear.
Carolyn McCulley - herself a protracted single, and staunch defender of the "gift of singleness" - appears to be making a career out of giving bad advice to women that want to get married. Her latest offering on Crosswalk sees her advising a mid-30s woman who is desperate for marriage, that she should stop attending a church service where there are available men and join one where there aren't any instead.
Like that makes sense.
Once again, she scolds the woman for desiring what God hardwired into our nature, and returns to her favourite topic: the dangers of making an idol out of the desire for marriage or "false, idolatrous worship" as she calls it.
As if the woman writing the letter wasn't feeling bad enough as it is!
What is painfully obvious from the lady that has written in for help (aside from the fact that she has chosen the wrong woman to write to) is that her self-esteem regarding attracting a potential spouse is at rock bottom, and a dreadful weariness of ever finding a husband has set in. This is what happens when you reach your mid-30s and there is no husband on the horizon.
But instead of directing her advice to where it is needed - the men in the woman's church - Carolyn appears to be suggesting that the woman's profession as a lawyer may have led her to take on the "less attractive qualities of the legal profession". Okay, so a possible reason why this woman is still single is because she has a high-powered profession? Carolyn, apart from this being ridiculous, you cannot have it both ways! If you believe that marriage will come about only "in (God's) due time" if at all, and that nothing we can do can change that, then what possible difference would this make? You say in your book that the reason we are single is because it is God's will for our lives at this particular time - or as the currently fashionable parlance would have it - in this season. It's not because the women are too this or too that, you say. Please make up your mind! Either there is a human element involved or there isn't!
Carolyn also completely misses the mark when she diagnoses the lack of self-esteem as being a general "fear of man". The letter writer makes it clear that she doesn't feel this way in the world. The problem is when she is surrounded by Christan men that aren't interested in her. And why aren't they interested in her? Because she is in her mid-30s!
This is a common problem.
Men that have delayed marriage for decade after decade into adulthood, suddenly decide (just prior to reaching the age where they might start needing regular medical treatment), that they would, after all, quite like to obey God in finding a wife, and actually, they would also quite like to have children of their own too. So instead of choosing a potential spouse of their own age, they are only attracted to women in their 20s or early 30s. As the letter writer accurately points out, this is a lose/lose situation. The men are rightly being rejected by the women that are under 35, and the women of 35+ are ignored!
Okay - so what would be a better way of responding to this lady?
Here are a couple of suggestions.
1) Read Debbie Maken's book "Getting Serious about Getting Married: Rethinking the gift of singleness". This will encourage her that what she is feeling is a natural reaction to an unnatural situation. She is not making an idol out of marriage; neither is she succumbing to a fear of man. She is simply a normal woman that desires marriage and a family - and with a Christian man no less. She is seeking to follow God's plan as laid out in the Scriptures and she should be encouraged in this, not discouraged.
The men however are clearly not following God's plan, which brings me on to my next point:
2) The men in this church need pastoring - and they need it bad. They no doubt believe that God will bring their perfect wife to them in His timing, and of course, she will be stunning, slim and most likely in her 20s. And that's regardless of their vital statistics and age! The older men need a reality check and the younger men need a wake-up call. Either they start being proactive and begin leading women into marriage in a timely fashion, or they will most like remain a bachelor all their lives.
And what did the Lord have to say about that?
"Not good."
Sadly, if the letter writer speaks to her church leaders, they may not be sympathic either, as they too have been wrongly taught over the issue of singleness. But it has got to be worth a try, and there may be just the one person in a position of leadership that will understand and s/he might be able to bear some influence on the others.
Final message to McCulley: In the opinion of renowned theologian, Captain Sensible, what you are doing is wrong. It's bad. Please stop.

Lonely hearts ads

Frieda Fruitcake writes: Sadly, it has to be admitted that there are people that would rather like to demand a receipt and throw the gift of singleness straight back at the Lord! Some have tragically even gone down the route of placing a lonely hearts ad in the secular publication, the London Review of Books. Whilst I do not condone such behaviour - obviously - I must admit that even I might be tempted by some of the following sweet-talking Romeos at a vulnerable moment. Oh charm, how deceptive thou art! How we must guard our hearts against smooth-tongued heathens such as these!


"Must all the women in my life take the witness stand? Serial embezzler, gangster, fly-tipper and - crucially for the prosecution against an otherwise watertight defence - bigamist (M, 48) WLTM easy-going, dizzy fems to 50 who don't ask too many questions (it's a busy trip - I'll be back on Tuesday)."

"Will you sleep with me? Knowing is half the battle. Man, neither the time not the inclination for subtleties."

"I like my women the way I like my kebabs. Found by surprise after a drunken night out and covered in too much tahini. Before long I'll have discarded you on the pavement of life, but until then you're the perfect complement to a perfect evening. Man, 32. Rarely produces winning metaphors."

"List your ten favourite albums. I don't want to compare notes, I just want to know if there's anything worth keeping when we finally break up. Practical, forward-thinking man, 35."

"My finger on the pulse of culture, my ear to the ground of philosophy, my hip in the medical waste bin of Glasgow Royal Infirmary."

"Sinister-looking man with a face that only a mother would love. Great for dimly-lit romantic meals. Better in those Welsh villages where the electricity can't be guaranteed."

"Mature gentleman, 62, aged well, noble grey looks, fit and active, sound mind and unfazed by the fickle demands of modern society seeks...damn it, I have to pee again."

"Save it - anything you've got to say can be said to my lawyer. But if you're not my ex-wife, why not write to Box no. 5377."

"My Christmas Day TV scheldule includes a pause in transmission at 3.52pm for me to cry into the sleeve of the cardigan I bought myself. Unless you want to meet up and make crazy post-turkey love? No? No? Man, 34"

"Don't let distance come between us. Or metal bars. Or restricted access. Write now to bubbly (others say "Maximum Security" but what do they know?) F, 34."

"Blah, blah, whatever. Indifferent woman. Go ahead and write. Like I care."

"Medication free after all these years! Join me (anxious, overweight, self-harming flautist, F, 34) for congratulatory drink (or seven) in side-ward of nation's finest."

"Christmas all alone? Unwrapping presents you gave yourself? Your troubles are over in the form of obnoxious, drunkard uncle for hire (62). Belches the national anthem in three octaves, scratches inappropriately and is seemingly never satisfied by your very best efforts. Is dinner ready yet - and if not, why not? December will be magic again at Box no. 5610."

"You were reading the BBC in-house magazine on the Jubilee line, I was coughing hot tea through my nostrils. Surely you can't have forgotten?"

"Shy, ugly man, fond of extended periods of self-pity, middle-aged, flatulent and overweight, seeks the impossible."

"This personal column has been poorer without me, so here I am again - hairy-backed Wiltshire troll, 56, still searching for that special lady with no sense of touch or smell, and a capacity for overwhelming compromise in certain lifestyle choices."

"I am an accountant."

Dazed and Confused

"I must admit, I am confused, Frieda."
"Why is that, Captain - and might I just add you are looking particularly handsome this morning? In a brotherly, asexual amoebic way of course."
"Why thank you, Frieda. I do my best. Well now, I was reading the blog of that good friend of yours, Carolyn McCulley..."
"You were reading Carolyn's blog? Oooh I am so excited! I just knew you would appreciate her Godward encouragement to single Christian women all over the world to be content with God's most wonderful and gracious gift of singleness."
"Um - well, you see - I have a bit of a problem with it. You know how Carolyn talks of singleness as a gift?"
"Yes, of course, it is a most wonderful and gracious..."
"Anyway, Carolyn calls singleness a gift, yet at the same time she says: 'prolonged, unwanted singleness is a form of suffering'..."
"She never did!"
"I am afraid so, Frieda. So you see, I have a problem with this as it implies that God will give us gifts that are not good. In Matthew 7:9-11, Jesus says: 'Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!' So by calling singleness a gift, yet at the same time acknowledging that it makes us suffer, Carolyn is in effect saying that God gives us gifts that are more like stones and snakes, than bread or fish."
"Hmm...well maybe the stone is a diamond then - and don't we ladies love our little rocks!"
"Er, I don't think that is quite what Jesus meant Frieda. But anyway, there is more. Carolyn also admonishes married people for 'boasting in a ring' if they happen to ask a single person if they never wanted to get married. This is hardly boasting, but merely an obvious extention of her very own theology. Married folks cannot be blamed for assuming singleness is as desirable as marriage, when Carolyn goes out of her way to make out it is a gift."
"I will need to check on all this Captain, and get back to you. It does concern me that Carolyn now seems to be saying that protracted singleness causes suffering. She may be experiencing the gift of hormones at the moment. Maybe she will write a book telling us how to be content with it? I can just see it now: 'Did I Kiss Mood Swings and Irrational Behaviour Goodbye?"
"Ah, the gift of hormones. Yes, well, ahem, mercifully the Lord spared us men from that particular spiritual gifting. Good day to you, Frieda."
"And a mighty fine day to you, Captain."