Frieda Fruitcake writes: I am so excited! I have just been sent a previously undiscovered addition to the Bible, and I can exclusively reveal it here!
(Theologians and Greek professors may email me directly with their questions.)
2 Acts 11: And it came to pass that in the years to follow, the disciples stopped being fishers of men.
2: The leaders gathered frequently to chat amongst themselves and discuss important issues like, well, something or other, maybe to do with the church building? And they let their wives put on lots of new prayer groups and book clubs for women.
3: The places of worship primarily became creches and play schools with lots of face painting and toys, and there was much for the older "youth" to do too.
4: The disciples had become scared of the men in the world, and preferred instead to spend their time with other Christians only, so they isolated themselves from other men and were afraid to go out and tell them the Good News.
5: Not many were added to their number daily; in fact, they continually decreased, and soon there were virtually no other men in their number.
6: But they weren't bothered.
Selah.