Outrage at "Urge To Be With Someone" Shock!

"The urge to be with someone is one of the most dominant and recognisable feelings there is."
(Zoe Strimpel, The London Paper)

Frieda Fruitcake writes: The shocking filth that fills our papers these days never ceases to amaze me! Now it's the "urge to be with someone" if you will!
Poor Ms Strimpel is obviously unaware that we must resist our God-given natural urges and seek forgiveness for them -- as I myself do every time my stomach rumbles, remembering that Paul said he was content in his hunger. (Although I must humbly confess my shameful sin of eating quite regularly. Only the Lord is perfect!)
Sadly, it seems that women especially are prone to evil lusts such as desiring a spouse, particularly when they also share God's desire for godly children.
Praise the Lord for Christian leaders and writers that continue to scold women for such idolatry, issue stern contentment lectures and continue to preach that: "Singleness is a good gift from God (1 Corinthians 7:7)", "It’s great to be single", "We can serve God better as a single" and that "Marriage is a hindrance to serving the Lord".
Thank you Richard Perkins, pastor of Christ Church Balham, London!
Troublesome, obviously, that you yourself are married with three children...
But I hope and trust that you will seek repentance for your sinfully divided devotion to the Lord without delay!

Oops! Carolyn McCulley's Done It Again!

"Though singleness is a grace gift (1 Cor 7), that doesn't mean singleness is a bed of roses. Every gift has its refining moments. Even Paul suffered as an apostle and a single man, but that doesn't negate the grace given to him or the good purpose of God's plan for his life."
(Carolyn McCulley)

Captain Sensible writes: Does anyone know why Carolyn McCulley stubbornly insists on calling singleness a "grace gift"? Because I find it pretty baffling! Even one of her own pastors recently said that it was better to speak of a gift of "celibacy" rather than "singleness".
Here she gives a very vague reference to singleness as a "grace gift" (where exactly in 1 Cor 7 is this coming from, Carolyn?); implies that God gives us "grace gifts" that cause us to suffer, even though Jesus said that our Father gives us good gifts; claims that Paul suffered "as a single man" but gives no evidence for this (and there was me thinking he suffered persecution because of the Gospel rather than his singleness! Why? Because he had a gifting towards sexual self-control as shown in 1 Cor 7:7); and implies that the suffering caused by singleness is all part of the "good purpose of God's plan".
Is it even possible to be more wrong in just three sentences?

More Wisdom and Foolishness in the Strangest Places!

"The trend among singletons will bite back in 40 years' time. I'll be holding the woman of my dreams, enjoying our grandkids and laughing my zimmer off, and they'll be desperately cruising the local rest homes in a last ditch attempt to find happiness. Forgive me, but I know where I'd rather be."

(Man quoted in secular magazine.)

In Praise Of The "Radical Fringe" And Those With The Courage To Admit A Mistake

Captain Sensible writes: As we eagerly await the opening of Amazing Grace in UK cinemas this Friday, commemorating the 200th anniversary of the abolition of the slave trade on 25th March, a very interesting article appeared in the Faith section of The Times last Saturday.
The Rev Dr Nicholas Sagovsky reminded us that: "The mainstream Church accepted the slave trade as part of the way God had made the world with its natural hierarchy...At that time, criticism of the slave trade came largely from the Christian margins."
He goes on to explain that: "These conservative beliefs were challenged by the revolutionary dynamic of the Enlightenment and a radical fringe of Christians."
"So should the Church feel guilty?" asked the author of the article, Nick Wyke.
"It should feel very strongly guilty", replied Sagovsky.
A timely reminder that "the Church" does not always get it right and that sometimes a more "radical fringe" does.
Interesting then that Debbie Maken has today published a response to a comment on her blog of which the following is an extract: "I tend to agree that no theologian ever got everything right. But I do think most of the theologians I cite seemed to have a party line on singleness and marriage, and it would do us well to examine their rather uniform thoughts on this matter. Our modern party line is a deviation from historical belief regarding this subject, and I would suggest that our modern theologians got this one wrong."
A public injustice necessitates a public repentance, and that is exactly what happened when the Church of England last year voted to apologise to the descendants of victims of the slave trade. An amendment recognising "the damage done" was backed overwhelmingly by the General Synod, with the Rev Simon Bessant admitting that: "We were at the heart of it."
Now, slavery is one thing; singleness is quite another, and I am not saying the two are comparable.
My point is when, I wonder, will the public apology come with regard to the Church's modern, mainstream teaching on the imaginary "gift of singleness", which is encouraging Christian men to be self-appointed eunuchs (and not for the sake of the Kingdom!) and leaving the Christian women that are fearful of looking for a believing man outside of existing church circles, barren?
We're waiting...
But not on God, as singles are so frequently told to do.
No, we're waiting for strong and courageous male leaders that are unafraid to admit a mistake and apologise for "the damage done."

The Unchanging God Almighty

Captain Sensible writes: One of the most beautiful songs ever is, in my opinion, El Shaddai.
I love the way the awesome might of God is pondered in such a gentle, haunting melody...
God is unchanging. His tender, loving care for the barren and broken-hearted still applies. His hatred of injustice still applies.
I love the line in this song: "To the outcast on her knees, You were the God who really sees."
I think it must really pain God when He witnesses the shameful misogyny, or even just the unloving contentment lectures, that are directed at women who are grieving for a husband and children.
Rather: "He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord" (Psalm 113:9)
Here are the lyrics to this song, and a reminder of what El Shaddai means is here.
May our Almighty God especially bless and comfort my sisters in Christ as you listen to this song, and may all reading this who do not yet know His amazing love be touched with the Holy Spirit as they listen.

Amy Grant: El Shaddai.

More Getting Serious with Debbie Maken!

Captain Sensible writes: Just to say that the live chat transcript has been revised to add in the answers Debbie Maken gave that there wasn't time for live. Once again, there is wisdom in her words. I particularly resonated with an answer she gave with regard to "character flaws that should flat out disqualify a person from marriage" to which she answered: "I've never really developed a list. But the big one for me would be habitual lying as being a disqualifying event."
Here are some other snippets, but do read the whole thing!

"Those who champion the view that wife/bridegroom “of your youth,” is merely descriptive, a nice detail added to the story, have to reckon with the fact that it is said FIVE times in Scripture. It would be like God saying, 'BTW, did I mention they were young,' five different times. The repetition should get our attention that God does think that the season of youth is a special time to effect a lifelong marriage. Wisdom also suggests that early marriage is the normative. But this kind of preposition is merely supportive of the overall charge given in the Creation Ordinance—to be fruitful and multiply. And if that charge is to be taken seriously, then marriage should occur during the season of young adulthood."

"Most singles are ... Joe Accountants and Suzie Schoolteachers for whom singleness poses no advantages."

"Ask any Christian single: the thought of turning their God-given natural desire for family life into an 'idol' haunts them because we are fast and loose with the spiritual manipulations we will use in the church to ensure that marriage really is not presented as the normative."

"I know that a lot of the Canon people did not like the cover of my book, but I actually liked what the graphic designer captured. It is not about the wedding dress. It is about a headless and armless mannequin representing the powerlessness of women in today’s marriage search, and a repressed red background to represent the simmering rage. I thought it was a very striking cover, so I approved. I can see how a man might be a bit embarrassed to be seen holding this book, but maybe they can cover it with a brown paper bag, cut it out to look like a book jacket. They can write in big red letters on the front, 'I am not reading a woman’s book.'"

"As per church leaders catching on, I need people who have been moved by this book tapping their pastors to push this amongst the leadership. The change I seek is going to have to come from the pulpit, especially when these men are handling I Corinthians 7. Most of the damage has come from there, so the solution must arise there as well. I also think that male ministers are going to have to set up a council, website, perhaps a blogsite, where ministers who preach bad messages on this subject, are held accountable for their words. This does not need to come from me and two or three other girls spread across the globe. It has to come from the men. Otherwise in the words of Deborah to Barak, 'the glory will go to a woman.'"

Getting Serious with Debbie Maken - view the live chat!

Captain Sensible writes: The live chat with Canon Press has now been transcribed and can be read by clicking here. But here a few of Debbie's wise words just to whet your appetite!

"I wish the married people would get the message, but most of them, especially if they have not had to suffer a protracted singlehood, almost seem to have this smug attitude of how they must have done things just right that God decided to bequeath them their spouse in a timely fashion. I do see a shift in thinking. I have heard of some pastors publicly apologizing to their congregations because they may not have accurately handled the word on this subject."

"Look for someone near his age, similar backgrounds/education/professional status, looks, parity, etc."

"Yes, the impact on the kingdom for failing to produce godly seed is something that will be felt, but is hard to calculate....This must be one of those truths that is the most neglected. I spoke on this in London for a few minutes and just assumed that most evangelicals saw the connection that singleness and barrenness is not going to be pretty when the heathen population overtakes us in a couple generations. But virtually everyone came up to me later and said that this was like some kind of new revelation. The problem is that men have been taught that they can take their own free time in selecting and deciding upon a mate, and they see this as a victimless action."

"I think it is better to be married than be single. Mediocre is really just a point of view, and people can make of their marriages what they want it to be. My ideas should cause people to evaluate where their dating lives went wrong and how to get serious about marriage; it should not cause anyone to 'rush' into marriage, or 'settle' verses 'settling down.' If someone is considering marrying someone they think is mediocre, they need to call off that engagement."

"Do Not Be Yoked Together With Unbelievers"

Another in our occasional series showing wisdom and foolishness in the strangest places, and this time it is believing men that are (not yet) church-goers. Nothing wrong with dating or even marrying them, according to the Bible. Check it for yourselves: Christians shouldn't be "yoked" with "UNBELIEVERS". (2 Corinthians 6:14)
A world of honourable, believing men is open to Christian women that mourn the lack of decent men in church, if they would only open their eyes! (And who knows, maybe it will shake some of the men up that are in the church, when they see godly women that could have been their wives and mothers to their children, all pairing off happily in God-honouring, fruitful marriages -- and bringing a whole new influx of leadership-quality men into the church as well!)
Ladies - stop wasting your time, and God's, on men that choose to ignore the creation mandate and be fruitless like the fig tree that Jesus cursed! There is a harvest of believing men out there...
Now, what exactly are you waiting for, hmm? Hmmmm?

"Of course, life is c**p if you don't have someone to share it with. "

"Of course I want marriage and a family."

"Can I come to church with you on Sunday?"

A Warning About False Witness, False Testimony and Liars...

Captain Sensible writes: God is watching.

The Curse of Barrenness

Captain Sensible writes: Interesting comments here from Paul Scanlon's book: "It's not over 'till the barren woman sings." Inspired by the opening of Isaiah 54: "Sing, O barren woman...", Scanlon makes clear that this chapter is "not a scripture about gender; the barren woman is a prophetic image used to describe the spiritual barrenness of Israel at that time in her history." Yet he does go on to make some points about fruitfulness/barrenness in general, which vividly highlight why barrenness is so painful for women:

"You see, from the beginning fruitfulness was God ordained; it was written into the DNA of creation that everything should reproduce after its kind. Every living thing that God created in Genesis 1 was commissioned to keep on creating. All that God gave was designed to keep on giving. Every fruit had within it the next gereration of fruit in seed form. The animals, the fish of the sea and the birds of the air were all empowered to reproduce. And to Adam and Eve, the first church, he said I want you to be fruitful, to increase in number, to multiply and fill the earth. (Genesis1:28)

"Life is inherently reproductive. Life without reproduction is a stagnant pool, a dead end of locked up resources. Life will always reproduce after its kind and any organism which refuses to do so, by denying its facilities for transmission, commits a breach of trust. Nowhere in creation was life given as a possession to be enjoyed. It is rather a sacred stewardship to be managed and fruitful reproduction its ultimate goal.

"The account of the barren fig tree in Matthew 21:18 is a shocking description of how seriously God views a lack of fruitfulness: 'Early in the morning, as he went on his way back to the city, he was hungry. Seeing a fig tree by the road he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it: "May you never bear fruit again." Immediately the tree withered. When the disciples saw this they were amazed. "How did the tree wither so quickly?" they asked.'
No doubt the disciples viewed this action of Jesus as a little strange and somewhat extreme; after all it was only a fig tree. To Jesus, however, it was far more than a fig tree; it was a parable of an unfulfilled trust, it was receiving life without passing it on. The fig tree was a creational violation.

"Singing requires something from you, praying requires something from God. Surely it would have made more sense to counsel the barren woman of Isaish 54:1 to 'Pray, O barren woman' rather than sing. But praying puts the initiative for change with God, whereas I believe with all my heart that the only way to break the stranglehold of barrenness in our lives and churches, is to take the initiative on ourselves. And that is what singing does."

Removing Scales from Eyes

Captain Sensible writes:

"And immediately there fell from his eyes as it had been scales..." (Acts 9:18)

As with Saul, may scales be removed from people's eyes, as they watch and read the message that I believe God is bringing to us through Debbie Maken. May God bless her, guide and protect her and give her the words He wants to bring to us.
Below is an extract from Debbie's blog, detailing tonight's talk and recent interviews. (I may be wrong, but I believe 9.30pm EST is 2.30am on Friday March 9th GMT.)

On Thursday, March 8th at 9:30 pm EST, I will be participating in a live talk with Canon Press. If you would like to participate, then please register at http://thecafe.canonpress.org. If you have any questions you can send them on to the good people at Canon Press ahead of the scheduled Live Talk time. Most recent past interviews include ones with: Pastor Joost Nixon of St. Anne's Pub last year; Genstacia Bull while in London; and Bridgitte Tetteh of Premier TV.

"And the Lord added to their number daily"

"In the spring, a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love"

Frieda Fruitcake writes: What heathen wrote this?
The Captain tells me it's a certain "Alfred Lord Tennyson" apparently.
A grand name, I'll give him that.
But who is he? That's what I'd like to know!
Some silly pop star or something no doubt. Obviously not a Christian anyway. Hasn't he heard of the precious and most holy Gift of Singleness? I mean, it's only been in the Bible for the last THIRTY YEARS!
I give him a year or so and no one will ever have heard of him!

"The Devil's in the Phone Booth Dialing 911"

Captain Sensible writes: Is this the most uplifting song ever? Loving it at the moment! As the song says: "You'd better run, Devil!"

"The Devil's in the Phone Booth Dialing 911"

Psalm 128

Blessed are all who fear the Lord,
who walk in his ways.
You will eat the fruit of your labour;
blessings and prosperity will be yours.
Your wife will be like a fruitful vine
within your house;
your sons will be like olive shoots
round your table.
Thus is the man blessed
who fears the Lord.

May the Lord bless you from Zion
all the days of your life;
may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem,
and may you live to see your children's children.

Peace be upon Israel.

Covenant Life Church: A Shameful Example Of All That Is Wrong In Contemporary Singleness Teaching

Captain Sensbile writes (and not without due fear and trembling): In a blog post outlining the sermon given recently at her Covenant Life church on 1 Corinthians 7, Carolyn McCulley has shamefully not mentioned the one useful thing that the dean of their Pastors College, Jeff Purswell, actually said. That was that it is theologically better to speak of a gift of “celibacy” rather than “singleness”.
Instead she quotes all the typically muddled, confused and sloppy thinking that exemplifies the contemporary church's teaching on this issue, so she can just about interpret his sermon any which way she chooses. But who can blame her really? It is woolly, misleading, and in many areas, downright wrong. Despite acknowledging that celibacy shouldn't be confused with singleness, that's exactly what he goes on to do! Genuis!
Here are a few quotes from Jeff’s sermon that I have noted from reading her helpful extract:

1) "This text is extremely vulnerable to misinterpretation. Any sermon preached on this text is guaranteed to be misunderstood by some and may well offend many." Jeff - there might be a reason for this. That reason could be that these sermons are deliberately made to be open to as many interpretations as possible so that the likes of Josh Harris and Carolyn McCulley can save face, instead of honestly admitting that Covenant Life has got this issue badly wrong. No surprise then that they may be "misunderstood" although I doubt whether much actual offence is caused. It's too woolly for that.

2) "What this text does do, and it does so powerfully, is that it affirms the goodness of singleness." Where does it do that, Jeff? Paul talks of a gifting towards celibacy and gives advice in a time of present crisis. Nowhere does this text affirm the "goodness of singleness".

3) "It's not a subpar existence." Oh really? Sure for those gifted with celibacy and who renounce marriage for the sake of the Kingdom, or for those that wish to be relieved of extra worry in a time of present crisis like the church Paul was writing to. But when neither of those conditions are in place -- which they won't be for the vast majority of listeners to the sermon -- a “subpar” existence is exactly what singleness is. Why do Christian leaders continually mislead their flock in this way? Are they just trying to be kind? It’s actually cruel, because it perpetuates the problem instead of tackling it head on and thereby coming up with solutions.

4) Perfect example of typical woolliness here: "It also shows us the benefits that come when God calls a person to live, or so arranges that a person live, their life without a spouse, be that for a SEASON of life, or all of life. " The benefit being, in Paul's personal opinion, a life of "undivided devotion to the Lord" in a time of crisis, right Jeff? Well, why not make that clear then? And note all the emphasis on God's "call" or "arrange(ment)". Nothing about how singleness can come about because of the lack of men in the church, or the church's trendy new teachings, or the lack of male leadership in leading a wife to marriage in a timely fashion, or a lack of male leadership in general - zilch on that. No, it's all God's doing apparently. In effect, if you are single, then God has called or arranged that for you. Okay, it may only be for a "season" (note the placebo of "season" here) but frankly, don't blame anyone but God if you are single. Isn't that basically what Jeff is saying here? No one should believe this!

5) "Here's how I would sum it up:" Great, can't wait for this! It's bound to be clear, right?

6) Er, wrong: "Singleness, when given by God, and pursued for God, brings glory to God." Huh? So is he saying here there is the chance we might be single when it's not given by God? But ... that contradicts what he has just said...

7) "The single life is a reality for many people." You don't say! Wow! God is really giving this man some deep, deep insights here...

8) "This text shows us it's not an inferior reality. It's not an inferior mode of existence." Speaking as a married man with children, I cannot understand how you have the nerve to prooftext what Paul is saying to make out singleness is equal to a rich family life, without the gifting that Paul had, and without there being a present crisis. Of course, no one will actually believe this anyway. But what it does do is make people who are vulnerable in their faith question whether this God is a God that they can truly believe in and trust. If God doesn't understand their deep need for a spouse and the pain of barrenness (which He does of course) then how can they serve such an alien entity? The singleness “experts” (I use that term lightly of course) that Covenant Life church has spawned, love to bang on about making "an idol" out of marriage. Haven't they just made an idol out of the god of singleness?

9) Oooh - I love this bit coming up here. Apart from the obvious doubt sown in people's minds as to whether they are "called" to singleness or not -- like you wouldn't know if you had a gifting for celibacy! -- just look at the weasel words coming up now. Plain English award-winner this man is not: "When God calls someone to life as a single, and when they walk it out in His power, which He promises to provide, and when they walk it out for His glory, then the single life--like married life--can be, it SHOULD be, fulfilling and fruitful and most importantly, God-glorifying." But just to ram home the obvious for you Jeff, circumstantial singleness is NOT the same as being called and equipped to live as a celibate. Is that such a difficult thing to say? Wouldn't it have clarified matters somewhat? Oh, but we can't have clarity on this issue! Silly Captain Sensible! Think of the trouble it would cause the likes of Joshua Harris and Carolyn McCulley!

10) But there is some clarity given here. Just such a shame it is a lie: "(I)f you are single now, that's God's call for you right now." Wrong! There are many reasons why so many Christians are single. Don't blame our collective or individual wrong actions on God, please!

11) "In a world where those who are single are sometimes marginalized, sometimes excluded, these texts are clarifying and affirming and they should be wonderfully encouraging." Huh? Where is the clarification, Jeff? What is “wonderfully encouraging” exactly for the vast majority of Christian singles who are circumstantially single?

12) "For those called to be single, be it for a season, even a long season, or for life, whether you desire it, or whether you don't, I think God would want to encourage you this morning that your singleness, given by God, and pursued for God, brings glory to God. God is sovereign and if He has so ordained for whatever reason, for however long, that you to be single, He will empower you to fulfill this call. " Oh what weasely waffle here! Enough blaming God for our wrong actions! It's wrong, it's bad, it's turning singles away from God, it's causing singles to be ineffective in their Christian walk as they struggle to live without the helper God knows nearly all of us need, and -- it's a lie. Enough making single people feel guilty for desiring marriage, as in "whether you desire (the call to be single), or whether you don't". As if they are being sinfully discontent with "God's call" if they desire marriage – God’s idea in the first place! These are lies from Satan; we must NOT believe them.

13) Ah, now finally, after making such a muddle of things and confusing people, here is something Jeff should have made clear from the start: "Biblical singleness is purposeful. It's not singleness by default, it's singleness with a purpose..." Great! Amen! Oh, but he has to go and spoil it doesn't he....

14) "... and a passion to serve the church, to extend the gospel, which is really the call for every person in the church." Huh and double huh! So, hang on, Biblical singleness has a purpose, and that purpose is the same for everyone, so really the call to singleness can be applied to everyone? Oh he has to just go and scramble everyone's brain again doesn't he! So the single person thinks: "I am single, therefore God must have called me to be single, therefore God must have a purpose for this, therefore I shouldn't sinfully desire marriage as then I might be thwarting God's purpose. Oh, but then Jeff is married, so how do I know if my purpose is to remain single and serve God or pursue marriage and serve God? I guess I must just 'wait on the Lord then'. Whatever that means. Just do nothing I suppose."

15) Final words of encouragement from Jeff to those "for whom singleness is undesirable." Oooh - how exciting, what's this going to be? It's a promise from the Lord apparently! A promise that is "rooted in His love"! A promise that "holds out hope"! Fabulous! What is it? "(L)et not the eunuch say, 'Behold, I am a dry tree.' For thus says the LORD: 'To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths, who choose the things that please me and hold fast my covenant, I will give in my house and within my walls a monument and a name better than sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off.'" (Isaiah 56:3-5) Oh, it's a message to eunuchs. And what does Jesus say about eunuchs? There are three types; those that can't marry because of the way they were born, or because something happened to them later in life that has made marriage impossible, or those that have renounced marriage for the sake of the Kingdom. So ... this ... doesn't ... apply ... to ... virtually ... everyone ... listening .... then. Oh, and that's the encouraging promise of God to those that are circumstantially single then? That they should just give up any hopes and dreams of a loving husband or wife and godly children in this life? The life that Scripture makes plain God does want just about all of us to enjoy?

Is this really the best that Covenant Life can do? Are they really concerned about Christian singles? Or are they more concerned about upholding their own reputation? Which to me anyway is now in absolute tatters.