"Sing to the Lord a new song." (Isaiah 42: 10)

Captain Sensible writes: Contrary to what Christians are being taught today, Psalm 78:64 shows us that a sign of God's anger was that: "Fire consumed their young men, and their maidens had no wedding songs."
Note The Bible doesn't say: "Fire consumed their young men, but their maidens (and more mature maidens even?) had the gift of singleness, so that was alright then."
Instead, Scripture shows us that God wants to hear "The voice of joy, and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom, and the voice of the bride..." (Jeremiah 33: 11) in places that appeared previously to be desolate.
On the brink of a new year, we have a choice to make.
What song are we going to sing in 2007? The old one? Or a new one?
May 2007 bring wedding songs and the joyful voices of bridegroom and bride, instead of yet more lectures on contentment with singleness -- a state which God appears to be far from content with Himself.
Frieda would also like to wish everyone a Happy New Year. She would have done this herself, but she is of course babysitting her nephews and nieces tonight. Some people seem to prefer to sing the old song.
How about you?

"Get thee to a nunnery!"

Frieda Fruitcake writes: Not for the first time, the writings of Carolyn McCulley remind me of none other than the great Bard himself, William Shakespeare!
As Hamlet advises Ophelia to join a nunnery, so too our dear Carolyn seems to be wisely advocating a similar thing.
In her latest article on Crosswalk, Carolyn kindly shares this example of the New Christian Family:

"I have a set of friends who live in a townhouse they’ve nicknamed 'The Abbey.' Each week, one of the ladies cooks for the rest. Though their different work schedules often prevent them from eating together, they’ve agreed to set aside Monday Family Nights as a household priority — a time when they eat together and catch up on the news of the week."

How this also brings back fond memories of a singles seminar I was blessed to be able to attend in London this past summer. The speaker -- who lectures to literally thousands of single Christians in the UK -- spoke of her decision to buy a house with another woman and confided beautifully about how they often sit watching a film together, hand-in-hand no less!
As the speaker stood there in front of us, with her short cropped hair, face devoid of any sinful suggestion of make-up, baggy T-shirt, combat trousers and Dr Martin-style boots, I couldn't help but feel my heart fill with joy at the prospect of these two women embracing their gift of singleness together in such a blissfully contented manner!
The day itself was filled with wonderful suggestions of how to reach a similar state of fulfilment. For example, the solution to loneliness was to be found in active involvement within the "church family".
Plus of course there was the ubiquitous suggestion of getting a cat, should the maternal instinct rear its ugly head. (I wouldn't wish to be negative, but honestly, like any spinster doesn't know that already!)
Praise the Lord for the New Christian Family made up entirely of women and their cats!

Captain Sensible writes: If Frieda will excuse me for this interruption on her post, I would like to make it clear that Frieda is simply describing what she saw and heard at an event which was clearly billed as a seminar for single Christians in London. No other issues were discussed at this seminar, apart from those relating to singleness contentment and the affirmation of the single state.

Conform to our culture, or The Bible? You decide.

Captain Sensible writes: Excellent review here from someone who thought they would hate Debbie Maken's book "Getting Serious about Getting Married: Rethinking the gift of singleness" but in the end, didn't!

Here are a few extracts:

"I think many single guys ARE wasting their time AND much time of the single women that I happen to know. They want 'friendships' without strings. They want to be able to call and talk to girls at their convenience without being tied down. They want to reach a certain level of 'earthly success' which, let's face it, no one knows if they'll ever reach. They want to wait until age 30+ before settling down. By so doing, their female counter-parts have pretty much been made to sit around waiting for Mr. Selfish to finish up whatever it was he thought he needed to do for him...women's fertility levels DO decrease the further into their 30's that men make them wait. So by refusing to marry in their 20's (for whatever reason) they are denying women the blessing of being able to bear and raise children. If you are scratching your head over that one -- I'd say denying a woman the right to a family is a bad thing. Particularly as that is what the large majority of women want to be able to do in this lifetime."

"Women were made to be man's help meet. They were made to be life givers and nurturers. To refuse to step up and husband them in an appropriate manner takes away their ability to fulfill God's mission for them. God did not give Adam his Eve for a "best pal"! She wasn't sent for him to talk to just whenever her got the urge, or to go shoot some pool with him when he decided that he was tired of playing his video game. She wasn't around to just 'grab a beer' with every now and again. No. She was given to him in order that he might have a serious, committed relationship. One that was to be productive on every level and the only way that they could reach that level of productivity was to be married."

"Now where does this leave the single woman who really does not have complete control over whether or not she marries today or 20 years from now? In a rough spot. Especially when it is her great desire to love and be loved in return. By a man."

"So many times guys just want someone to 'have' to pal around with and take out every now and again. I've heard the excuse that it 'helps them feel like a gentleman.' HOGWASH."

"I think Maken presented a great argument to challenge present day relationships. She calls for a return to a time when people married early and walked through life together, pursuing the same goals. Not waiting until your individual goals have been met -- alone. But togetherness. Wholeness. This book is a challenge. It absolutely is. And at times it is most unpleasant. But I think its valid and deserves attention."

So, isn't it time we stopped conforming to our culture's notion of singleness? (And it is from our culture; it's not a "gift" from the Lord as it appears to have suddenly become in some imaginative and inventive Christian circles!) This might help to focus the mind (Romans 12:2):

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- his good, pleasing and perfect will." (NIV)

It's also very nicely put in The Message (just don't even think about paying any attention to their horrible translation of 1 Corinthians 7:7!):

"Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you."

Ebenezer Scrooge – The Perfect Role Model for Christian Men!

Frieda Fruitcake writes: How wonderful it was to watch the heart-warming film, A Christmas Carol, on television this Christmas!
And what a godly role model for Christian men everywhere Ebenezer Scrooge is -- before the ghostly visitations, obviously!
This admirable man was shown to have broken off an engagement in his youth so that he could sensibly concentrate on his business dealings.
As he became increasingly mean and lonely in later life, he was soon left with only his money for company on Christmas Day.
Not for him a happy family like that of his unfortunate nephew, Fred, where all around his festive table sat smiling faces.
Despite not having much materially, poor Fred’s Christmas was filled with generosity, love and laughter -- how I cried with sympathy at the sight of it!
But oh, what a wonderful example Scrooge is for Christian men, like those that have written recently on Debbie Maken's blog, and who say they fear marriage because of the risks of divorce and potential loss of “financial assets”!
What are the true “assets” of a loving wife and godly children compared to financial ones anyway?
Don’t we all know that love is the root of all kinds of evil, and it is perfectly possible to serve both God and Money?
These wonderful examples of money-worshipping Christian men appear to reside primarily in the economically-challenged US. But although I am a staunch Royalist, never let it be said that Frieda Fruitcake is too proud to admit there is a lot we can learn from our cousins across the pond!
My only regret is that Charles Dickens chose such a sad ending for his story.
Following his change of heart, Scrooge now seems doomed to giving up his gift of singleness in favour of a loving, God-honouring home life.
Dear Christian brothers, never forget this morality tale if challenged about why you are not looking for a wife.
Marriage? The correct response is, of course, “Bah humbug!”

The Gift of Singleness: To You with Best Wishes from Our Culture! (But you don't have to accept it!)

Captain Sensible writes: “There will soon be more single people than married ones in Britain.”
That’s according to a report in The Sunday Times newspaper, based on a study by Alliance and Leicester Mortgages. The report goes on to say that the number of single households is set to rise by 53% over the next 20 years to 9.9 million.
Stephen Leonard, director of mortgages at Alliance & Leicester, is quoted as putting this down to social trends: "Social trends influence the way we live. We are currently witnessing a change in society that is set to continue well into the future."
What's that? "Social trends", he says?
So it appears that this “gift of singleness” that we have been led to believe is from God, is actually not from God at all. It’s from our culture and it reflects social trends.
Folks, this is great news!
It means we can all give it back to our culture in 2007!
What's more, we can then start a new, more positive "social trend" for our culture to emulate -- rather than the current situation which we have entirely backwards!

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house / Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse

Captain Sensible writes: Christmas is a time to rejoice. But it's also okay to be "sorrowful, yet always rejoicing" (2 Corinthians 6:10). As I was listening to my Pastor preach on the joy of the Christmas season, the parable of the poor widow came to mind (Mark 12: 41-44):
'Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny.
Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything — all she had to live on."'
Maybe our joy offering isn't as much as others put in. But you know, Jesus understands that perhaps it's all you can afford.
I'd also like to share the reading from today's United Christian Broadcaster's Word for Today.
Maybe there is someone we can reach out to this Christmas.
But if that's not possible, then let's just stand alone -- together.
"Among the Christmas Eve congregation at 5th Avenue Presbyterian Church was a recovering alcoholic named Jim. It was his first Christmas alone, and when a young family sat down beside him he couldn't handle it. Leaving the church he met Pastor Thomas Tewell who asked where he was going. 'Out for a drink,' he replied. Knowing Jim's history, Tewell said, 'You can't. Where's your sponsor?' 'On vacation,' he replied. 'I came tonight needing a word of hope and ended up sitting beside this family. If I'd my life together, I'd be here with mine.' As the pastor walked to the pulpit he prayed, 'God, give me a word of hope for Jim.' Then after welcoming the congregation he said, 'I have a request. If anyone here is a friend of Bill W's, and if you are you'll know it, please meet me in the vestry. (Bill Wilson, better known as Bill W., co-founded Alcoholics Anonymous). Immediately people from all over the congregation began to respond. Dr. Tewell says, 'While I was busy preaching about the Incarnation, the Word was becoming flesh before my eyes!' As you celebrate Jesus birth, remember that many around you are hurting; they've lost hope. Don't forget, 'The Word became flesh' only because Jesus went out of His way to redeem sinners, lift the fallen, encourage the despairing, and minister to the sick, the lonely and the forgotten. And He said, 'In as much as you've done it unto the least...of these...you've done it unto me.' So instead of keeping to yourself this year, reach out to those in need - go ahead, make it your best Christmas ever!"

Urgent Prayer Request!

Frieda Fruitcake writes: How it pains me, my dear singleness-gifted siblings, to be the bearer of some terrible news, especially at this otherwise joyous Christmas season.
As you may recall, I recently urged everyone to share the encouraging proof of the existence of God as described in my previous post.
Ever faithful to our Lord’s great commission, I did indeed offer this remarkable scientific revelation at our Children’s Nativity Play last night, which I am delighted to report was packed with children and families from our local community, plus senior church officials and dignitaries from the surrounding area.
So powerful was my testimony that our dear leader, the Right Reverend Archibald Longbottom, found himself quite overcome with emotion at the ensuing uproar and promptly fell shaking to the ground in what can only be described as a powerful manifestation of the Holy Spirit.
Sadly, however, he hasn’t quite recovered from this experience, and his condition this morning remains so critical that even I -– Frieda Fruitcake -– have been expressly forbidden to visit him, as he lies heavily sedated in his hospital bed in the psychiatric wing of the Royal London Infirmary. (No flowers, please.)
Yet there is some light in these dark hours!
I am greatly encouraged that the Reverend Longbottom was so obviously overcome by my performance on the microphone last night, that even as he lay quivering at the foot of the alter, curled up in the foetal position, and with globules of saliva dribbling from the side of his mouth, his kind, glassy eyes still managed to locate mine.
As he courageously raised a finger towards me, I could clearly discern the words “This…is…all…your…doing!” forming at his mouth.
How marvellous that even in what may turn out to be his final hours in this fallen world, his determination to thank me for my contribution to the night’s dramatic turn of events was uppermost in his mind!
Please join with me in prayer for the Reverend Longbottom’s speedy recovery to a full state of health.
How our country needs discerning men of God such as he!
Indeed, don’t I already know the plans I have for him!

Sexual Chemistry Proves Existence of God!

Frieda Fruitcake writes: The heathens are at it again! Sex on the brain is obviously responsible for the following answer to the question: "Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?" which was -- I am sure -- actually submitted on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam. Despite the regrettable references to fornication and profanity, I hope you will all take the opportunity to share this encouraging confirmation of the existence of God at your church's nativity play performance or outreach carol service.
Your Vicar will be so proud of you!


First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.

So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct, leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!"

This student is said to have received the only Grade A.

"For I know the plans I have for you..."

Captain Sensible writes: One of the best loved verses in the Bible has to be Jeremiah 29:11:
'"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."'
But does anyone notice what God says just five verses before this?
Here's Jeremiah 29:6:
'"Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease."'
Isn't it odd how verse 6 never seems to get mentioned?
At least, I have never heard anyone quote it.
But perhaps we should start?
After all, do we have any right to expectantly await God's plans for us to come to fruition, if we blatantly disregard his unambiguous instruction just prior to that?
Also interesting to note is the emphasis on active rather than passive behaviour here. No: "Marry and have sons and daughters, but only when I send a thunderbolt into your living room to indicate that your 'season' of singleness has ended"? Or: "Find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage -- except of course if they have the 'gift of singleness' (which no one will know for sure until they die, according to one theologian), so actually it is sinful to try to bring about such a thing without witnessing a remarkable act of divine intervention on My part first."
Rather, isn't it instead an echo of the go forth and multiply command?
God seems to me to be saying here: "Go, go, go! You know what you need to do. Now get on with it!"
Quite a contrast to all this "waiting" and "trusting" that we seem to be instructed to do by our Christian singleness -- ahem -- experts these days, don't you think?

The Times They Are A-Changin'!

Captain Sensible writes: I have been very encouraged to receive this note from a brother in Christ. I have taken the decision to post it here in order to also encourage others that are working very hard to address all the faulty teaching we have in Christian circles at the moment, including: Debbie Maken, JM, and also D for some sterling work previously undertaken.
I hope that this encourages everyone that the times are indeed changing...

I love the blog and have a look at it 2 or 3 times a week. It really has helped me a huge amount and it has confirmed my thinking, and at last a Christian has stood up and encouraged Christian singles to get out there and get looking for a marriage partner. The blog is backed up with Scripture and above all loads of common sense!

In a way it has liberated me because it feels as if the enemy had put a sense of guilt in the back of mind about being active in the single scene, no doubt due to the faulty theology I had been fed since being in the youth group onwards.

At my church I was told to "wait on God's timing" etc in other words do nothing. I did this while I was in my twenties and suprise, surprise - nothing happened. I wonder how many other Christian singles this happened to and in the end it caused them to walk away from church and God because one of their deepest needs was unmet and they felt let down either by the church or by God?

I've had several discussions with friends on this subject, most of them disagreed but I came to the conclusion in my early thirties that actively seeking a wife wasn't wrong or a lack of faith. I've had 2 relationships in the last 2 years and I feel that I'm on my way now to reaching my goal in that I've learnt a lot about dating and relationships by experience and through seriously studying the subject. I know that I would make a superb boyfriend, husband and father for the right woman - I'm still looking for her of course :-)

Excuse me, but is anyone out there even attempting to outreach to men?

Captain Sensible writes: I know, it's a novel idea, right? Outreaching to men? Who'd have thought of it?
At this Christmas time, it's great to put on family carol services, nativity productions and Christingle services. And there are lots of fantastic children's ministries and mother and toddler groups that are open to the community and run throughout the year that attract -- well, mothers and children.
But aren't we missing something here?
Something like...testosterone?
Aside from the occasional "men's breakfast" -- usually run at some ungodly hour by a stern-looking, retired businessman -- is anyone even trying to bring more men into our churches? I mean, it's not like our churches are exactly groaning under the weight of biceps and triceps, now is it?
Well, I am sure there are more, but there is one church in particular, that I personally am aware of, that is attempting to address this.
Watford Community Church, situated just north of London, took a radical step this year.
It was decided that with a community surrounding it that didn't know the Lord, it was inexcusable to sit around drinking tea and being awfully nice to each other week after week, instead of reaching out to the lost, living just outside of their own front doors.
So the brave step was taken to disband all homegroups, or LifeGroups as they call them, and instead create interest-based groups, which actually take the congregation out into the community.
Currently, the programme includes a sports night, where men from the church engage in a variety of sports that bring them into contact with non church-based teams and individuals; a Munch-a-Movie night, where members are encouraged to invite a not-yet Christian friend along to watch a popular film and then discuss it afterwards; a pub quiz, where a team hosts a weekly quiz in a local pub in an attempt to build friendships; and the Street Angels ministry, overseen by the town centre chaplain and run in conjunction with other churches in the area and with the support of the local Police, where teams wearing branded visibility jackets walk the streets on a Friday or Saturday night and are available to the young people that flock to the town's pubs and clubs, whether just to have a chat, ensure people get home safely if they are a bit worse for wear, or of course answer any questions about what the Street Angels are doing and why they are doing it -- especially at 3am on a Sunday morning.
All of these have one major factor in common: They are bringing the congregation into contact with men that would have big problems with stepping inside a church.
How we have allowed the situation to develop where men are so lacking in our churches is a complex one.
Over-emphasis on the traditionally feminine traits such as gentleness, empathy and compassion, and not enough on the traditionally male ones such as leadership, boldness and courage might have something to do with it.
And is it any wonder we struggle to make an impact into society when the Body of Christ is trying to operate without the strengths that a full component of men would bring to it?
Sadly, all too often, the young single men of the church in their 20s and 30s are not involved in any form of outreach to their peers. (Another bonus for the enemy that comes with promoting protracted singleness amongst Christians?)
Instead they appear to be highly self-involved, spending far too long at their computers doing who knows what, and trying to stave off the loneliness that comes with being single by surrounding themselves with legions of female "friends".
It's surely not an accident that God drives home the message in Scripture that it is "not good for man to be alone" and that "he who finds a wife finds and good thing, and receives favour from the Lord."
Maybe the New Year will give us the opportunity to challenge our church leaders about this very issue -- and for all of us, male and female, to be willing to give up our time to invest in it.
Reports from Watford Community Church seem to indicate something is happening.
One female Street Angel was heard to remark recently: "Why is it always the guys that come up to us? I would really like to minister to a woman!"
I firmly believe a harvest of men is out there, ripe for the picking.
But is anyone willing to bring it in?

"Make Love Your Goal"

Captain Sensible writes: It is a fact -- strange but true -- that the song The Power of Love by Frankie Goes to Hollywood, is actually a Christmas song, and the video that accompanied it back in the 80s featured the nativity scene.
Just this evening I learned that a church has played it as people left their carol service.
I thought it would be good to read the lyrics and listen to the song too, if we can. Not only is this a beautiful love song – and the old Captain is an incorrigible romantic at heart – but an appreciation of its dual meaning; the love of our Lord and the romantic love that God intends for us, is perfect for this Christmas season.
May all who read this know both.

The Power of Love

Feels like fire
I'm so in love with you
Dreams are like angels
They keep bad at bay
Love is the light
Scaring darkness away

I'm so in love with you
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

The power of love
A force from above
Cleaning my soul
Flame on burn desire
Love with tongues of fire
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

I'll protect you from the hooded claw
Keep the vampires from your door
When the chips are down I'll be around
With my undying, death-defying
Love for you

Envy will hurt itself
Let yourself be beautiful
Sparkling love, flowers
And pearls and pretty girls
Love is like an energy
Rushin' rushin' inside of me

This time we go sublime
Lovers entwine-divine divine
Love is danger, love is pleasure
Love is pure-the only treasure

I'm so in love with you
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

The power of love
A force from above
Cleaning my soul
The power of love
A force from above
A sky-scraping dove

Flame on burn desire
Love with tongues of fire
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

New Post on Debbie Maken's Blog

Captain Sensible writes: I must draw my readers' attention to a new and extraordinarily wise post on Debbie Maken's blog on the subject of stewardship of our bodies, which can be accessed through the Debbie Maken link to your right.
Here are a few tasty chunks, but there can be no substitute for reading her words in their entirety. I firmly believe God is speaking to us. Will we listen?

"Some consider their single status a divine gift, something they should not seek to change, but simply use for the glory of God. There almost seems to be a 'ho-hum, there’s nothing you can do about it' attitude to whether marriage should be pursued, and so we rationalize that God is glorified if we simply trust Him, maintain sexual purity, and participate in a myriad of service activities. Undoubtedly, God does want sexual pleasure to be reserved for the marriage bed, and it is better to do church work than be idle. But which is more glorifying to God--making the most out of a defunct and perhaps unwanted state of singleness, or pursuing marriage, so that kingdom expansion happens through godly marriages and the raising of godly children?"

"Just being single does not uniquely 'gift' a person to serve the body any better than being married. Marriage does not preclude one from hardly any ministries that single people participate in today, if they participate at all. Because singles generally do not engage in service/charitable activities any more than those who are in families, there is no off-setting or counterbalancing to consider."

"The 'gift of singleness' lingo is a quasi-rationalization to make those who would desperately like to be married feel a little better about their contributions; but in the end, this newfangled doctrine creates more problems than it solves."

"God created humans as sexual beings. (Gen. 1:28; Gen. 2:24-25; Matt. 19:11-12; I Cor. 7:1-8). God himself states his objective for marriage in Malachi 2:15: 'Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth.' In Psalm 127:4-5, God informs us that His redemptive plan involves the expansion of godly seed through family life: 'Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.' In Genesis 1:27-28, God himself declares our physical body a resource when He gives us the task of being 'fruitful and multiplying.'"

"Many espouse avoiding marriage because of uncontrollable divorce factors, as opposed to looking at God’s view that the wife was appointed to be a helpmeet, an invaluable assistant to help men to live life well. Many of these bachelorhood driven websites merely see all that can be lost in a divorce, an event that could be predictably avoided through the exercise of wisdom in the initial selection of a mate and by developing mature coping skills to weather the downturns in a marriage. These marriage-neutral men cannot see marriage as a vehicle that is not only for the glory of God, but for their advancement in this life as well. Because of this ... perspective, many of these bachelors suggest merely maintaining the status quo proves to God we trust him more, as if God someday will mystically arrange the circumstances so that we are propelled into marriage."

"This new God of singleness really does not resemble the God found in the Bible. He has been recast as a storybook fairy godmother capriciously waving a magic wand to make marriage just 'happen' whenever."

"Those who do not actively seek marriage show their lack of faith and demonstrate a willingness to be stingy with their bodies and their lives. They actually show their lack of trust in God by remaining single and not following the blueprint from heaven to be fruitful and multiply."

"We so often look at kingdom expansion as 'out there' and not done by having children and discipling them. If the average bachelor takes a wife and raises children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and trusts God’s promises (cf. Deut 30:6; Gen 17:7), and teaches the children to do the same; and if each generation has four children, then in 150-170 years, the couple could have directly/indirectly influenced over 4000 people for Christ. That is very fruitful; that is good stewardship of our bodies."

Now go read the whole thing! It's impossible to thank God too much for Debbie Maken, whose words are clearly sent "for such a time as this"!

Kissing the Gift of Marriage Goodbye!

Frieda Fruitcake writes: Good news and bad news, my dear Christian brothers and sisters.
First, the good news: I was delighted to learn this weekend that a large and very popular church in central London had to change the name of its "Singles Weekend Away" to a "Women's Weekend Away".
The reason: None of our brothers appeared interested in going.
Praise the Lord!
What would our good Christian sisters want with our brothers there anyway? Why there would always be the risk that some form of flirtatious romantic behaviour would develop and our most precious gift of singleness would be in jeopardy! And don't we all know that the road to hell is paved with marriage, sex and godly children?
It is indeed encouraging that some of our brothers appear to be shunning marriage in favour of an imitation of our culture, whereby marriage is delayed indefinitely and immature adolescence is extended into their 20s, 30s and even beyond.
Of course, in our culture they are still having sexual relationships and even living with women, and would regard many decades of post-sexually mature, self-induced celibacy as extremely odd to say the least.
But then in our culture they wouldn't understand that God has decreed this generation to be the first in Christendom to enjoy the generously widespread bestowing of the new gift of singleness! No wonder evangelising to men appears to be such a problem, when they can't even grasp this fundamental of the New Christianty!
Now sadly, the bad news.
I attended a Christmas party for Christians this weekend, and I was distressed to see that there were a large number of men in attendance (reports suggest almost equal numbers no less! That never normally happens at these sorts of things!). What's more, several of them even appeared keen to recklessly steal the gift of singleness from our sisters!
Some were so determined in their ungodly quest that they were spotted brandishing a sprig of mistletoe as a weapon of seduction!
Oh how I long for the day when Christian social events such as these become women-only affairs; when being Christian truly equates to celibacy and barrenness for all! How encouraged I was when I spoke to one brother -- a mere spring chicken at the youthful age of just 35 -- who said he wasn't hoping to meet his future wife and in fact seemed quite confused at the thought of using the party as a means of obtaining a girlfriend, preferring instead to spend the evening chatting to his male friend.
How shameful indeed that not all Christian brothers are following his example and embracing their eunuch status in this proud manner!
Yet, as evidenced by the large London church where the new teaching on the holy gift of singleness is admirably adhered to, we can't have long to wait until the day when marriage and procreation are the preserve of only the atheists, agnostics and followers of other religions.
Oh happy day!

The "Gift of Singleness": Captain Sensible Submits an Advanced Theological Discourse for Peer Review

"The gift of singleness."
"The gift...of singleness."
"The gift of...singleness."
"The gift of singleness."
"Singleness. The gift of."
"The gift of.........SINGLENESS!!!"

Is it me -- or does it even just sound plainly stupid?

Celeb Watch!

Celebrities showing more Biblical wisdom than some of our Christian leaders -- and this time it's glamour model Jordan!!!

"If I could choose to be single again or have this life (marriage, three kids -- yes folks, hot news is she's pregnant again! -- menagerie of animals) I'd choose this life over anything."

"Go forth and multiply" right now! (Well, get married first!)

Captain Sensible writes: It has been said that the creation mandate to "go forth and multiply" doesn't apply to us today. (Despite the fact that we know God is unchanging and Jesus even reiterates the natural design of marriage for humankind in Matthew 19:4.)
But a very interesting point is made in Linda Marshall's Pure, published by Inter-Varsity Press (a book and accompanying course which sadly is not without the usual contemporary flaws regarding a "gift of singleness"):

"Right in the middle of the Adam and Eve story is this verse: 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.' (Genesis 2:24) But Adam and Eve didn't have a mum and a dad! Therefore this verse is deliberately stuck in to teach all the generations to come."

What's that? All generations to come? That means us then...

Ladies! Don't fear Christmas alone!

Frieda Fruitcake writes: Now ladies I know it can be hard being alone at Christmas, with no husband and family of your own to love and enjoy the season with. But thanks once again to the marvellous Purposeful Singleness site, we have some wonderful suggestions of how to spend our time, which I really have to share with my sisters in Christ! (Brothers - Let's hear some great suggestions from you too! Here's one to start you off: Watching batteries charge! Especially if it has an exciting light display to watch too!)

"Growing houseplants."
"Sewing or knitting and crocheting can be a good way to spend time, even if you don’t make your own clothes."
"If you love baking you can bake 'goodies' for co-workers, neighbors, friends, family members, people at church, people that help you (doctors' office workers)."
"I watch videos, but I have to be careful not to watch too many 'chick flicks' because I can start to wallow."
"I often go for walks or long drives by myself."
"I clean."

Oh what inspirational ideas our singleness-gifted sisters have offered! And to think some "Christian" women will be busy having playful sex with their husbands and planning what gifts to give their kids!

Let's all try to remember those poor wives and mothers in our prayers this Christmas season!

Matthew 19:12: Single for a reason? Or single for a "season"? (Which may or may not last a lifetime!)

Captain Sensible writes: I am greatly indebted to receive the following posting. It has been sent to me by a very wise and courageous soul who cares extremely deeply about the departure from God's true Word on the issue of singleness, and the resulting consequences that we are now seeing in the body of Christ today. JM, I doubt it will be possible to thank you enough in this life.

Despite the fact that there have been hundreds of Christian books written in the past several decades prooftexting "God's way" for singles, there are only two passages in the Bible that even address singleness: those in 1 Corinthians 7 (see previous post) and Christ's words in Matthew 19:11-12.

To understand Matthew 19:11-12, we need to look at the context in which Christ spoke. In verses 3-9, some Pharisees had been testing him with questions about divorce, to which he responded by affirming the scriptural limits of divorce and remarriage. In verse 10, the disciples, daunted by the rigor of this teaching said to him, "If the case of the man be so with [his] wife, it is not good to marry." The Lord responds in verse 11 by setting the conditions for a teaching that he immediately declares as being for some, but not all:

De epo autos (But he said unto them), pas ou choreo (all [men] cannot receive/or "make space for") touton logos (this saying), alla hos didomi (save [they] to whom it is given).

In verse 12, he proceeds with this teaching, describing three types of eunuchs:
Gar eisi eunouchos (For there are some eunuchs) hostis houto gennao ek meter koilia (which were so born from their mother's womb), kai eisi eunouchos (and there are some eunuchs) hostis eunouchizo hupo anthropos (which were made eunuchs of men), kai eisi eunouchos (and there be some eunuchs) hostis eunouchizo heautou eunouchizo dia basileia ouranos (which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake).

Note that the first type of eunuch, "so born from their mother's womb", is not described as being made that way by God. This is not to dispute God's sovereignty but to note what the Bible does and does not refer to as a gift or provision of God. Indeed, being in the second case, would certainly have been considered an unfortunate affliction in Bible times, and they both have something in common: neither had any choice in the matter. The whole point of the teaching emerges when he presents the third kind of eunuch, those who MADE THEMSELVES eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom. It is plain to see that Christ is making a distinction between those who have no choice (and would probably never have made such a choice) from those who can choose to sacrifice marriage and all its connubial benefits to fulfill a mission.

Christ then concludes this verse by stating A SECOND TIME the conditions he set in verse 11, reiterating clearly that it is for those capable of receiving it (rather than obeying under compulsion or command from God): Dunamai choreo choreo (He that is able to receive (it), let him receive (it).

Several thoughts come to mind about how this passage has been interpreted by modern writers on Christian singleness:
1) No where in this passage or any other part of the Bible is anyone ever "called to singleness" by God in the Bible, with the exception of Jeremiah, whose singleness was limited to a specific place and mission (we don't know if he married later). Like 1 Cor 7, Matthew 19 offers an endorsement of singleness for the purpose of Godly devotion that is clearly optional, because marriage will be the most preferred and practical state of affairs for the vast majority of believers.

2) Contrary to what one popular Christian singleness writer who suggested to those who hope for "the future blessing of marriage" that they are being "GIFTED AS SINGLES for the benefit of Christ and His church" (temporarily, "for a season"), Matthew 19:12 is hardly the picture of a "season of singleness". It would be grandiose for any of us who are not single by choice to put ourselves in the same league as those who truly made a sacrificial decision for the sake of the kingdom, such as those who join monastic orders.

3) Matthew 19:12 has also been cited as an example of Christ's "positive attitude" towards singles and singleness. Again, this might apply to those few who resemble the third type of "eunuch", having voluntarily taken a path of kingdom work that precludes marriage, but there is nothing here that validates or blesses the circumstantial singleness of the other two types. Indeed, to be born a "eunuch" or made a eunuch by men would have been considered a great misfortune in biblical times. If anything, Christ's description of them takes a tone that is more neutral than positive, so we cannot assume that Christ mentioned them to encourage them in their "contentment" or "purpose". Despite what would seem to be a natural proclivity for sexual containment, they aren't even mentioned as candidates for any specific kingdom work, at least, not in this passage. Verse 12 is clearly about the third type of "eunuch": those exceptional individuals who voluntarily choose to sacrifice everything for the sake of the kingdom.

Meals for One - Now Even Easier!

Frieda Fruitcake writes: Fantastic news my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ that are gifted with singleness!
The great British institution, Marks & Spencer, has now made our microwaveable meals for one even easier to prepare!
Now there is no longer any need to pierce the film on the packet before zapping it. No, the "cooking" instructions now read:
"For your convenience, no need to pierce film."
How thoughtful of M&S to think of our convenience in this way! I don't know about you, but I always found it a terrible bind to have to pierce the film.
Like us singles don't have enough to do already!
Admittedly, this may be something of a mixed blessing. In some ways, the outdated concept of actually preparing a meal from scratch does have a certain quaintness about it, and piercing the film did make me feel like I was putting something of my heart and soul into the food. Plus, my oh my, what personal frustrations we could release by stabbing at the tight film again and again with a sharp knife!
But really, who can truly be bothered piercing the film when it is just for one?
Congratulations Marks & Spencer for thinking about us busy singles in this way! First we were blessed with the gift of singleness, and now we have been blessed with the gift of no more piercings!
Praise the Lord!