The Body of Christ is Female!

Frieda Fruitcake writes: Wonderful news my dear singleness-gifted sisters and last remaining brother!
I am so excited to share with you the news that soon we will all be blessed with the holy gift of singleness!
If the exodus of men from the UK church continues at the current rate, then the statistical projection by Christian Vision for Men (a sinful movement whose unimaginable aim is to actually increase the number of men in our churches!) is that by 2030 there will be zero men left in the UK church!
That's a big, fat, lovely, ZERO Christian men!
Isn't that simply fabulous, ladies?
No fear of being robbed of our precious gift of singleness then!
How truly blessed we are that it is apparently God's will that no more men will join the Body of Christ, thereby putting an end to horrid Christian marriages and ghastly godly children!
Our Heavenly Father is so good to bless us with singleness in this way -- and in such rapidly increasing numbers as well!
Who would have guessed that God's command to almost all of us to go forth and multiply would come to such an abrupt end at the beginning of the 21st Century? (And not before time too, quite frankly! All that nasty, messy, procreation business...Urgh! Even Frieda Fruitcake could have told the Lord that idea wouldn't last!)
But let's be on our guard, girls! There are murmurings in dark quarters that Christian women should now look outside of church circles in order to find husbands that believe in God.
Over my barren body, I declare!
Praise be to God, whose will it is that the Body of Christ will soon be a fighting army of girls!

Has Josh Harris Kissed the Gift of Singleness Goodbye?

Captain Sensible writes: Well, he just might have done...Or at least, there are encouraging signs from Covenant Life church, where he is the senior pastor.
In a very recent sermon on 1 Corinthians 7, Jeff Purswell, who serves on the pastoral team at Covenant Life with special responsibility for teaching and Bible training, said this:

"Theologically it is better to speak of a gift of celibacy than a gift of singleness."

Who knew?
What a pity that congregation member Carolyn McCulley was too busy on her travels promoting the gift of singleness to hear it. Maybe someone will be kind enough to let her know?
Only one small question remains though:
Why didn't Josh Harris give this talk himself?
Given that he has pretty much built his career on writing about singleness...
He wasn't -- perish the thought! -- too proud to admit he was theologically wrong, so he delegated the task to someone else...was he?
Now having said that, I have heard some of Josh's talks on other subjects, and he seems like a very godly and humble man. Indeed, despite some terrible flaws, even his books on singleness do make some valid points regarding respect for women and the male responsibility of pursuit.
So why this apparently cowardly delegation of admission regarding a serious theological error?
But maybe I am wrong.
Perhaps he had something more important to do that day than correct an error that has spread like wildfire, partly due to the success of his best-selling books?

The False Teaching of a "Gift" of Singleness

Captain Sensible writes: Thanks very much to the person that kindly sent me the following email, and who has given me permission to reproduce it here.
I hope others will find it similarly encouraging. Yes, we can and yes, we must put an end to the false teaching on the issue of singleness.


I found your blog via Debbie Maken's blog and I absolutely loved it. As any good American I usually fail to pay attention to what is happening beyond our own borders (although I can find Iraq on a map!), but I was really shocked and comforted (if that makes any sense) to find that this problem with the 'gift of singleness' exists elsewhere in the world. I guess I'm glad to find out that it's not just me or the few churches I've attended that are totally screwed up with this concept. After years of believing that God was not allowing me to date, I'm starting to feel like I actually have the freedom to do so (and have always had that freedom); and that it wasn't God at all, but false teachings that I had to endure since I was very young. Thanks for you voice on the net. I just wish others here in this country could do the same. Instead too many want to argue about the exegesis of I Cor 7; and they do this while the so-called heathen nations are birthing 5-6 children per family. *Sigh!*

P.S. Some food for thought (or a very good comeback). The famous 'Seek Ye First' verse that married folks like to throw at us is taken out of context. The whole context of that section involves money and the things money can buy. Think about Jesus' audience at the time. He was speaking to a bunch of married Jews. I'm sure there were a few singles in there, but for the most part getting a spouse was the last thing on their minds (hopefully).

William Wilberforce - A Man of Courage and Conviction

"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?"
(Isaiah 58: 6)

Captain Sensible writes: It’s incredible to think that William Wilberforce faced such strong opposition in his fight to abolish slavery, not only from trade barons with economic vested interests in perpetuating the status quo, but also from within the church.
As Nicky Gumbel, vicar of Holy Trinity Brompton, London, puts it, Wilberforce faced “rejection from his friends, vilification from his enemies”.
When faced with opposition – from friends and foes alike – let's take courage and say, as Wilberforce did, that it “animates rather than discourages” us.
After all, "if God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31)

Evangelism. Men. The UK.

Captain Sensible writes: The UK church is haemorrhaging men and most churches have no idea what to do to halt the exodus of believing men, let alone introduce men to Jesus.
Currently, the Body of Christ is chronically lacking the masculine traits of leadership, boldness and courage that an equal balance of men would bring to it; something which might just explain why we have such difficulty making an impact into our society.
Meanwhile Christian women wonder where their husband is going to come from, as they patiently "wait on the Lord" and watch as the church blindly continues down the same path that has already led to a 38% decline in the numbers of men overall, and proceeds to emasculate the few that are present.
But there are proven strategies that the church can implement in order to reach out to men in the world, as well as some cracking ideas to gear your church up to receive a harvest of men, and here is an opportunity for those in the south of England to hear them.
Don’t miss a special talk by Rev Carl Beech, national director of Christian Vision for Men, entitled: “Winning Men: How to do it!” to be held on 26th February at 8pm in Watford, Herts, UK.
This talk is organised by St Mary's church, Watford, but to find out more, visit the London Christians website.
Men's outreach: It's time to get serious.

Love Is Not Only Patient and Kind

Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
like a mighty flame.

Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot wash it away.
If one were to give
all the wealth of his house for love,
it would be utterly scorned.

(Song of Songs 8:6-7)

Do You Believe In Love?

St Valentine writes: Let me introduce myself. My name is Valentine. I lived in Rome during the third century. At that time, Rome was ruled by an emperor named Claudius. I didn't like Emperor Claudius, and I wasn't the only one. A lot of people shared my feelings.
Claudius wanted to have a big army. He expected men to volunteer to join. Many men just did not want to fight in wars. They did not want to leave their wives and families. As you might have guessed, not many men signed up. This made Claudius furious. So what happened? He had a crazy idea. He thought that if men were not married, they would not mind joining the army. So Claudius decided not to allow any more marriages. Young people thought his new law was cruel. I thought it was preposterous! I certainly wasn't going to support that law!
Did I mention that I was a priest? One of my favourite activities was to marry couples. Even after Emperor Claudius passed his law, I kept on performing marriage ceremonies -- secretly, of course. It was really quite exciting. Imagine a small candlelit room with only the bride and groom and myself. We would whisper the words of the ceremony, listening all the while for the steps of soldiers.
One night, we did hear footsteps. It was scary! Thank goodness the couple I was marrying escaped in time. I was caught. (Not quite as light on my feet as I used to be, I guess.) I was thrown in jail and told that my punishment was death.
I tried to stay cheerful. And do you know what? Wonderful things happened. Many young people came to the jail to visit me. They threw flowers and notes up to my window. They wanted me to know that they, too, believed in love.
One of these young people was the daughter of the prison guard. Her father allowed her to visit me in the cell. Sometimes we would sit and talk for hours. She helped me to keep my spirits up. She agreed that I did the right thing by ignoring the Emperor and going ahead with the secret marriages. On the day I was to die, I left my friend a little note thanking her for her friendship and loyalty. I signed it, "Love from your Valentine."
I believe that note started the custom of exchanging love messages on Valentine's Day. It was written on the day I died, February 14, 269 A.D. Now, every year on this day, people remember. But most importantly, they think about love and marriage. And when they think of Emperor Claudius, they remember how he tried to stand in the way of love, and they laugh -- because they know that love can't be beaten!

Captain Sensible writes: This post was discovered on an unattributed website somewhere in cyberspace. Let's respect (what admittedly may just be a myth) by refusing to minimise the importance of the romantic love that God created to exist between one man and one woman.
Elsewhere in the blogosphere, singles may be urged to show love for their friends and family today, and thereby not feel left out because they have no one special to love.
I say "Horsefeathers!" to that!
It's another placebo given to Christians that dulls them into thinking marriage isn't all that.
There is nothing wrong with showing love for friends and family any day, of course, and indeed so we should.
But let's not devalue the importance of romantic love in almost all of our lives by minimising its importance in that way; implying that other love relationships are a good substitute.
They are not -- and Valentine may even have died in defence of it.

It Ain't Over 'Till the Thin Lady Sings...

Captain Sensible writes: A strange yet poignant opening to the excellent A.A.Gill's restaurant review in today's Sunday Times. His reviews are always worth reading anyway -- whether you are a foodie or not -- but this one has a touching reminder of why God said it is "not good" to be alone.

'Towards the final curtain of her life, Marlene Dietrich — bent by time, straitened by circumstance and living off Bismarck herring and Vollkornbrot in a Paris attic — found that the ragged and worn ends of her life wouldn’t quite meet. She did, though, have a Californian admirer (I’m guessing a lifelong bachelor), who was depressed and visiting a psychiatrist. Dietrich suggested that he should send her the money he spent on analysis, and she’d sing to him five nights a week. The cheque arrived. The thin lady sang.
For some reason, I find this a particularly touching image: a lonely, unhappy, pink little man lying in his neat, overvalanced bed, staring at a side table covered with patent medicines, a silver-framed photograph of his dead mother and another, larger, picture: of Marlene, the famous one in top hat and tails.
The telephone rings. He picks up the receiver. A reedy voice begins to sing See What the Boys in the Back Room Will Have. The man snuggles under the covers, with his hand over the mouthpiece so she won’t hear his ragged breathing.
Far off in Paris, in the pearly dawn, the sleepless Dietrich sits in an armchair covered by a thin blanket, tremulously chanting, her voice sliding into a husky whisper. Those great hooded eyes stare at the same photograph in the grey light. When she finishes, there’s a pause, and she breathes: “Gute Nacht, and God bless.”'

Urgent Call for Prayer and Fasting!

Frieda Fruitcake writes: My dear fellow singleness-gifted brothers and sisters, I feel moved to declare a period of prayer and fasting during these dark days of Valentine’s week.
The Lord prompted me to do this after I – with fear and trembling – self-sacrificially submitted to His will, and attended the London Christians Valentine’s party last night.
This unholy gathering was truly shameful to behold, and I fully understand why the Lord wanted me to witness this debauchery at first hand.
Supposedly Christian men and women were laughing, dancing and cavorting with each other, as if we were created by God to be sexual beings!
Some of these wanton women were even heard, in the secret place of the Ladies restroom, to gleefully remark about how many men there were at the party, before adding with a sinful giggle about how “proactive” they were being too! Something which was apparently regarded as “fantastic”, no less!
As if Christian men being proactive about finding someone to love is something to commend!
Why weren’t these single men spending their Saturday night at home alone with their computers or watching their Star Wars DVDs? That’s what I want to know!
And why weren’t the single women babysitting for their poor married friends, so that they can go on “date nights” with their husbands?
As a consequence of witnessing such lewd behaviour, I have decided to dedicate this coming week to prayer and fasting, that the Lord might preserve their precious Gifts of Singleness and Aloneness.
I implore you to join me, and let’s ensure that these so-called “Christian” heathens do not sacrifice their precious Gifts at the altar of marriage, as a result of their depraved behaviour last night!
Christian singles must continue to be taught that no good can come of anything other than “making friends” – only God-honouring marriages and Christian families, and as we all know:
No sacrifice is too great to prevent that from happening!

Debbie Maken on TV!

Captain Sensible writes: Watch Debbie Maken on TV! (Well, a website "TV" really.)
During Debbie Maken's recent trip to the UK, she was interviewed by the Christian broadcasting company, Premier.
Visit www.premier.tv and then use the search option in the upper right hand corner, type in Debbie Maken and then click the "do search" button.
I firmly believe that the Lord has sent Debbie Maken to us as a modern day Esther "for such a time as this".
She doesn't give singles any false flattery; you'll need to go somewhere else for that, and there are plenty of other places to choose from.
Now "Taste and see that the Lord is good". (Psalm 34:8)

Dare to Complain about Singleness!

Captain Sensible writes: In these days of chastisement if anyone dares to express discontentment with the contemporary church’s new teaching on singleness, and the predictable outcomes of protracted singleness and barrenness that it causes, I appreciate the wisdom of Paul Scanlon, Senior Pastor of Abundant Life Church in Bradford, England – one of the fastest growing and most influential churches in Europe.
Contrary to all the “contentment” lectures that make singles feel guilty and sinful for even desiring marriage, Paul Scanlon encourages complaining over compliance.
But not just any old complaining.
No, this Pastor encourages the complainers who become a force for change; a force for good.
So which will you be?
Compliant and defeatist; feigning contentment, and thereby prolonging the false teaching for yet another generation?
Or will you be a complainer; a “history maker” that effects change?


"At the core of every visionary leader's life is a deep dissatisfaction with how things are. At the root of every history maker's calling is a complaint. That complaint is his or her cause, fuel, drive and motivation to press through and accomplish the dream, however tough it gets along the way."
"When people have no complaint, they become compliant; they do what others tell them, accept the status quo, and sign up to long-established traditions. They do what they do because everyone else does; together they comply."
"Compliant people will never become visionary people. Compliant leaders cannot be visionary leaders because compliance is comfortable and comfort has never been the mother of complaint."
"Vision is fuelled from two directions, the past and the future. My complaint about what must change pushes from behind, and my vision of better things pulls me forward."
"It's the complainers in all walks of life who are getting results. Thousands of lobbying groups, many of them small in number, refuse to be silent about their causes."
"Celebrity TV chef Jamie Oliver recently took on the British government about the poor nutritional quality of school meals. His complaint was that children were being fed junk food at the most formative time of their physical and intellectual development. His outrage exposed the disgrace on national TV, and the public protest he provoked resulted in a change in the level of government funding for school meals in just a matter of weeks. Many before him had expressed a concern about school meals, but a concern is not a complaint. A complaint fuels a vision to bring change, and the consistent voice it becomes makes real change possible."
"Please understand that complaining is not whining! Whiners are people who complain about things that they permit and tolerate. Whiners are a dime a dozen, but people with a genuine complaint, who are willing to become a force for change are much rarer."
"What's your problem? What's your issue? What can't you stand? What won’t you put up with? What do you have an attitude about? What bothers you about the church? What keeps you awake at night? What drives you crazy and gets you up on your ‘soap box’ thumping the table in protest? Here you will find your life’s cause and calling. Your irritation is your ministry. What you can’t stand is what you were put here to stand up for."
“Those who don’t share your complaint will never understand you. Those who do understand will never forgive you for walking away from a fight that you were put on the planet to win. Winning your war is always about others, often thousands and millions of others, who need you to sustain your complaint until the vision becomes their reality too.”
“The last thing you ever need to do is calm down! Don’t ever try to calm down about things you feel deeply passionate about.”

Extracts from Crossing Over by Paul Scanlon (Nelson Books)

A Conspiracy of Silence over the Gift of Singleness?

Captain Sensible writes: Interesting views here on the issue of singleness by Dr. Albert Mohler, president of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. The full article can be read here.
Judging by his views expressed in this article (an extract from which is given below), it would appear that Dr Mohler doesn't believe "singleness" (as opposed to celibacy) to be a "gift" of any description.
Strange then that he hasn't joined the debate and come straight out and said that calling singleness a "gift" is plain wrong, isn't it?


"Singleness is not a sin, but deliberate singleness on the part of those who know they have not been given the gift of celibacy is, at best, a neglect of a Christian responsibility. The problem may be simple sloth, personal immaturity, a fear of commitment, or an unbalanced priority given to work and profession. On the part of men, it may also take the shape of a refusal to grow up and take the lead in courtship. There are countless Christian women who are prayerfully waiting for Christian men to grow up and take the lead. What are these guys waiting for?

"The delay of marriage has caused any number of ills in the larger society, and in the church. Honesty compels us to admit that this is indeed tied to levels of sexual promiscuity and frustration, even as it means that many persons are now marrying well into their adult years, missing the opportunity of growing together as a young couple, and putting parenthood potentially at risk."

Shedding Light and Understanding on the Gift of Singleness

Frieda Fruitcake writes: How wonderful to see such light and understanding cast upon the holy Gift of Singleness by the learned Michael Lawrence*, particularly in these troubled times when some unmentionable people (Debbie Maken - urgh!) are questioning the very existence of this most blessed Gift.
The Gift of Singleness should now apparently be seen as "the gift of the circumstance that (we) are in."
This is all just too exciting!
I simply cannot wait to see what is going to turn up as a Gift next!
The Gift of Unemployment?
The Gift of Sickness?
The Gift of Hunger?
And surely what will turn out to be one of the most gracious endowments of all time...
The Gift of Toothache!
It's so wonderful to witness the Lord work in such a new way, whereas previously Jesus told us that our Heavenly Father would give us only good gifts!
Praise the Lord - the new God of gifts no one wants!

* Michael Lawrence has served as associate pastor at Capitol Hill Baptist Church since 2002, after having earned his Ph.D. at Cambridge University and M.Div. at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary.
Michael and his wife have four children.

Christian "Valentine Party" Shock!

Frieda Fruitcake writes: Is there no end to the debauchery of these people? "London Christians" they call themselves. Christians indeed! As if Christians are not happy and content being celibate singles for their entire lives! First there was the (gag!) Debbie Maken talk; the trauma of which I have yet to recover from, and cannot bring myself to even think about right now! And now this! A "Valentine's Party" if you will!
It seems their depravity will not cease until just about every last one of us have been cruelly robbed of our precious and most holy Gift of Singleness!
Something must be done!

Debbie Maken Comments on Ratio of Single Men in the UK Church

Captain Sensible writes: Once again, essential nuggets of wisdom on the blog of Debbie Maken.
Here is she reflecting on her recent trip to the UK, and the stark disparity between the number of single men compared to the number of single women in the church.

"Third, I have to wonder has the ratio always been this lop-sided? As Hodge would say, God has providently preserved an equal number of women to men in all ages. So, what are we to glean from this — Christian families are having a hard time creating Christian sons in the same proportion to Christian daughters?

"Or is it possible that in early adulthood the proportions of Christian single men to women are roughly equal, but as the single years go on, Christian men drift out of churches? Is it possible that the church which tendered a reduced concept of marriage and told men that marriage was unnecessary laid the seedbed for noncommitment to either marriage or the church itself? Or is it possible that men in leadership are responsible for changing the worship model into an entertainment one, and thus, have isolated masculine men from desiring the church? Or do women because they were made to be dependent (i.e. 'made for the man') have an easier time seeing their need for dependency on Christ, while men don’t?

"I think the set of rhetorical questions listed above are what the modern church needs to be exploring. I also think that in the spirit of evangelism, church leaders should make it a priority to seek out 'lost' single men and return them to the fold and instill in them a desire to achieve true biblical masculinity, not just characteristics of being helpful in a church body. Getting someone up to speed in being a husband and father does not take that long; the rest is learned through fumbling (and grace) on the job."